My heart raced like there was no tomorrow. I couldn't call this scumbag a man. No way I'd even humor him with that kind of title.
And it's not like this was an innocent man.
I remember how it started.
***
My ears were already buzzing so loud it felt like I'd been hit fifty times instead of just ten. We were behind the gym where there were no cameras or teachers or anyone who'd care enough to stop my torment. The air was thick with the smell of mildew and cheap perfume, a cloying combination that made my stomach churn.
"Hold her!" Fauna ordered the other girls. My arms were held back lightly by two girls I could see didn't want to break their manicures. Fauna stepped forward, her perfectly manicured hand a blur of motion.
The slap echoed in the small space, a sharp, stinging crack that sent my head snapping to the side. My vision swam, a flash of white-hot pain exploding across my cheek.
A red haze descended over my eyes. I wasn't thinking, just reacting. I threw my weight forward, a guttural scream tearing from my throat. For a second, I was free. But the freedom was short-lived.
The moment I broke their grip, they descended on me like a pack of wolves. A fist connected with my ribs, another grabbed a handful of my hair, yanking my head back so hard I saw stars. A knee slammed into my back, pinning me to the rough, unforgiving concrete. Someone ground their heel into my wrist, a sickening crack echoing in my ears as I cried out in pain.
Once they had me down again I could feel them tugging at my clothes. The old fabric tore and exposed my bra and some skin. I desperately tried to cover myself up but the Fauna already had her phone out snapping pictures.
I tried to cover up but the girls pried my arms away.
"Smile, Melody!" Fauna laughed, her voice a high-pitched, grating sound that made my skin crawl.
"What's going on here?" I heard the boys soccer coach call out. He walked towards the group and looked at me on the ground shaking his head.
Finally! Someone was here to stop this!
"I-"
"You should really fight back. If you won't then take a minute to think why they're doing this to you," the coach lectured me as his eyes kept trailing over my exposed body. "People don't just act like this for no reason. Maybe think about what you're doing to provoke them."
Fast forward to the next day he called me into his office and locks the door. He showed me his monitor and... there I was. Bruised and crying trying desperately to cover myself up.
"Kids be be cruel. Luckily these are in my possession and definitely won't spread fast," he said mildly. "I can make sure they don't but you'll have to be cooperative."
I wish I could say that I walked out, but in that moment I was so scared things would just get worse that I didn't. For the past month I've been standing stiff as a mannequin while this perverts hands wandered. Quick grabs when no one was looking. A squeeze that made me want to vomit. Unwanted massages under the guise of muscle relief.
***
He's been telling me to relax and what would happen if I didn't for the past fucking month. This was the big scary boogie man that's been haunting me at school for the last thirty days.
And tonight, here he was passed out drunk in an ally.
And I have a gun and a golden opportunity to get rid of my problem once and for all don't I? He didn't help me, he took his chance to pray on someone innocent. Even if it was just touching I still felt violated.
I'll never get that peace of mind back!
I'll always remember that disgusting feeling and the nightmares that came from it! He fucked my head up so badly!
I don't see any scenario where I gave this guy any mercy. No matter what my conscience was saying.
I checked my watch.
Thirty seconds left. It was as if time didn't care that my life was on the line and the universe had dangled me this most delicious fruit.
My mouth went dry.
Twenty five seconds left.
The gun was feeling heavier and colder than it should have as I picked it up. I've never held a real one before tonight and I instantly didn't like how comfortable I was feeling pointing it.
Twenty seconds left.
Coach Danners shifted slightly on the ground mumbling something slurred and it irritated the shit out of me. How dare he sleep so peacefully after the evil shit he's been doing to me?
Fifteen seconds.
He could've stopped those girls at anytime and reported the act of extreme bullying. Instead he took someone that was already having a hard time and tried to steal my dignity however he could. He even told me that once I turn eighteen he'd...
Ten seconds.
If I walked away now... tomorrow would come and so would another round of the harassment I couldn't escape.
Five.
My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my teeth.
Three.
I raised the gun.
Two.
"I just want my life back," I pleaded.
One.
I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled the trigger. The sound was deafening, a thunderous crack that echoed off the brick walls of the alley, a sound so loud it seemed to suck the air out of my lungs. The smell hit me a second later, an acrid, metallic stench of gunpowder and something else, something eggy and foul that made my stomach turn.
I opened my eyes, a slow, deliberate motion, and saw him. There was a clean, bleeding hole between Coach Danners eyes, a perfect, dark circle surrounded by a halo of red. His head was tilted back, his mouth slightly open in a silent scream.
He... wasn't moving.
I picked up a gun and actually killed this motherfucker! I did it-
It dawned on me then.
I did it... because of a random strangers provocation and it's irreversible. I couldn't bring him back to life, not that that I would if given the chance. But what I just did was permanent.
I'm fucked.
"I knew you could do it!" A voice said from behind me making me jump in shock. The stranger was back... and he looked more than happy. I didn't I like this at all.
Why am I such an idiot? I just made my problem a thousand times worse havent I?
Should I just run?
My eyes flickered to the narrow route of escape. "I wouldn't do that of if I were you." He said as if reading my mind. "You're going to get exactly what you wished for."
Well, even if I've gone this far, I'd be a fool to listen to him again and get myself in deeper shit.
I tried sprinting, I really did. A hand clamped over my mouth so fast the air was punched out of me. Nails that were too long and too sharp dug into the flesh of my cheek, somehow not piercing through. A second arm coiled around my waist, lifting me effortlessly. My feet kicked uselessly in the air as the gun hit the ground.
Fuck! Why didn't I just use that?!
The world turned sideways. Something sweet and savory flooded my lungs. My vision blurred. Against my ear, a deep voice purred, so low it vibrated inside my ribs.
"Gotcha."
The words dripped with satisfaction before darkness rushed up and took my way under.