Ria:
Well, I am standing looking in the big wall mirror in the closet. I'm not sure how I feel about the image looking back.
It's the beginning of December, so I've been here for over 3 months.
My room was finished just about 3 weeks after I gave my list to Drago. Ash and he had spent an afternoon with me and a working laptop, looking at furniture, rugs, curtains, and decorations. Then I had spent an afternoon with the contractor discussing paint, flooring, lighting, fixtures, bathroom specs, and the special design items I wanted.
So now I had a black wooden canopy bed, draped in heavy black velvet curtains. There was a slight silver scrollwork and a small silver flower motif on the wood.
I had all solid black bedding. The room, including the ceiling, was painted flat, matt black. There was a big silver light fixture in the middle of the ceiling. There was a black hardwood floor with black and silver decorative rugs.
There was a black dresser, and the fireplace was now black riverstone. All the furniture was made of black velvet, and the end tables and coffee tables were made of black wood. The lamps were black, with a slight silver floral design; the windows had black velvet blackout curtains.
The bathroom was redone in black marble tile with silver and gold veining. The tub is a big black Jacuzzi tub. In here, everything is painted black, including the vanity and sinks, with silver fixtures. The lights are electric silver candelabras on the wall.
I had them remove the bathroom mirror and replace it with one I designed. They are black, ornate, rose-patterned wall medallions with slight silver rubbing. They resemble medicine cabinets because they're hinged. When you open them, there's a mirror behind the wood.
I specifically demanded that there be no decorative elements on the walls that weren't light fixtures. No art, pictures, or anything. There are no knick-knacks or flowers on any surface. Those were my design choices for the room.
There are weekly "shopping" trips to town, where I really never shop. There's always an appearance at the café where the royal pet is displayed before the public. I have truly become a bitch. These people keep acting like I should be honored to be here.
I actually really upset a mom a few weeks ago. We had detoured to a local bakery. Natalia wanted some things. I was standing, minding my own business. There was a woman there with her daughter. She made a comment about how I should be grateful and honored to be taken by the Royal Heirs. I looked at her, then her daughter. I asked her if someone stole her daughter, raped her, and held her captive, if she would be honored they'd chosen her daughter to do those things to? She lost all color in her face and immediately left the shop with her daughter.
I have discovered I truly hate my dragon. We have a very tumultuous relationship. She likes the guys and their Dragons. She kept causing shit between all of us, so finally I said fuck it and gave in. So now I have a physical relationship with the guys. I mean, I would have anyway, at least this way she's not fighting me for control, and enticing their dragons to the point of madness. That always gets me bit, usually multiple times, then it becomes a whole thing. So this way it's kept more one-on-one rather than a group. I hate feeling drugged, so this at least avoids that.
They don't "physically" hurt me; in fact, they are extremely careful not to. It's not my body taking the beating. It's my head and my heart. I can't really look in the mirror anymore unless it is for something like tonight. I always throw up afterwards and have to scrub myself raw in the shower, but my dragon, the bitch, is happy.
Tonight is the first feast night of the Christmas celebrations. It is supposedly a big deal. This is the second time I'm wearing a gown I designed. Zoe is actually probably the only person I can stand in this whole place. She has never once made me feel like I should be happy, or grateful, or anything other than whatever I am. We talk about dresses.
I actually really like how this one turned out. It has a full skirt of black brocade embroidered with silver dragons. The top is a black brocade corset with silver-threaded decorative scrolling, and the corset ties are silver ribbon. There are 3-inch off-the-shoulder sleeves, and a 1-inch black strap on my shoulder. Then, from the off-shoulder sleeves, are panels of sheer black fabric hanging all the way to the floor. Because it is panels, not solid, my arms are not contained.
My hair is down like it always is, but I took a small front section and braided it into a hairband. I don't wear any jewelry, besides my golden shackle, as I call it. Never any makeup. The guys have repeatedly given me fancy jewelry. I never touch it.
My stomach has truly expanded. There's absolutely no denying I'm very pregnant. I try very hard to ignore absolutely everything to do with my pregnancy.
The guys brought a new Obstetrics Dr here, and set up a whole clinic for her. She specializes in high-risk pregnancy. Her name is Mirea Surenka.
I leave the room and go downstairs to wait in the foyer. I am not surprised to see Ash and Drago already there. They both stare at me, and I hate it.
They say I'm beautiful, and I feel like the grossest pond scum imaginable, so I nod. They both kiss my cheek, and I stay very still, and breathe so I don't vomit. I am grateful they don't try to make things between us what they aren't. If they try to be romantic in any way, I usually have a panic attack, so they don't, and I'm grateful.
It's not long until the others show up. On nights like this, we are driven in a limousine.
There's actually quite a lot of the town I've never seen. I find I have no motivation to sightsee, as I detest this place and everyone in it. So I haven't been to the huge, ornate building we pull up to.
Drago helps me out of the car, and he keeps hold of my hand. I want to rip it away, and I try repeatedly to pull my hand free, but he grips it tighter, so I finally leave it.
We head inside, and the huge room looks like a massive ballroom, but there are tables set up in groupings in different places. The room is ornately decorated.
Drago leads me towards a larger table, and the others are all with us. As we approach the table, I realize there are people already sitting there.
As we get closer, my heart stutters, and my chest tightens. I'm having trouble getting a full breath.
No,No,No!!! This can not be happening. I recognize these people. It takes me back to a day Cin and I went to the farmers' market for cherries, so Beth could make a pie.
I am shaking and trying to hold back the tears. Their being here can only mean one thing. This is their fault. They never would have found me. I would be happy at home with my family if I had never met these fucking people.
As we stop by the table, I am holding on by a thread. I know Drago can feel my hand shaking.
They stand up and bow their heads slightly, "We are so honored to be here, thank you for inviting us."
They both look at me and smile, "We are so happy to see you here, where you belong, and mated, and pregnant as well. We are so happy for you."
I lunge at them, ready to go across the table to rip their throats out. Drago grabs my arms, and I snarl.
"You ruined my fucking life, you traitorous bastards. I was happy with my family, you couldn't leave me alone, now I'm a captive and pregnant with my rapists babies. I fucking hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"
Suddenly, Drago is in front of me, holding my face in both hands, blocking my view of them.
"Stop! Stop Now!" He says it not just to me, I feel the command in the words, and my dragon does especially.
I suddenly can't speak or move. He has muted and paralyzed me. I hope he sees the rage in my eyes.
He blows out a breath, then looks me in the eyes again, " You will sit down. You will be calm, and you will not fight me while we are here." I feel more command.
Stiffly, like a puppet being marched to its doom, my body obeys, and I can do nothing. I can't stop the furious tears trailing down my face. He pushes me down into the chair.
My body is ramrod straight and stiff as a board. I am gripping my fists, but I can do nothing.
I can hear everyone taking their seats around the table, but no one says anything. I am staring at the causes of my misery across the table. I hope they can read the revulsion and hate in my eyes.
They both look completely gobsmacked. Like they could never imagine in a million years why I would be angry. These god damn people are so fucking clueless.
I am aware of conversations around me, several of which include the older couple. The atmosphere is very subdued, however. There's food served, but I don't move a muscle.
"You can move, but you won't speak to the Stoicas. You will not move towards them," he knows the cuff would keep me from being able to physically hurt them, but he's determined to keep me from even threatening them.
I feel his control release me, but I still don't relax or speak. I hear him let out a big sigh.
I get up and head towards the bathroom. He gets up to follow, but I glare at him, so he sits back down and lets me have a moment alone.
The bathroom is well-appointed and very fancy. I am about to pass by the sink and counter when I see it, a cell phone.
I reach out and grab it before I can think better of it. They have deliberately cut me off from any electronic devices with internet connections. I push a button, and the phone lights up; it's unlocked.
Holy shit, who leaves their phone unlocked? I rush to the giant stall with my treasure. My pregnant bladder is screaming at me, so I have to take care of that. I keep clicking away, getting onto the building's connected Wi-Fi. I am online, trying to navigate how to get where I need to go through foreign channels.
Finally, I run across something, but it's not really what I was looking for, but the words snag me, and the world stops turning.
There's a news article. It's piggybacked off a connection to the story they did about my "accident" and "death" from a few months ago.
This one is about my family, specifically Cin. My brain is refusing to absorb the words but I keep rereading it. They are talking about the enormous tragedies that have befallen a single foster family.
Cin didn't believe I had been killed in the accident and was determined to prove it. After hitting numerous dead ends with local law enforcement it appears she became entangled with criminals, specifically a drug dealer. Apparently he was extreamly well connected and promised her information. Information isn't what he ended up giving her, he killed her. He is being held on murder charges.
Beth went off the deep end and lost Elijah and Marcus. They were returned to their mother. There was an accident and a fire broke out at her house, Elijah got out, but with severe burns. Both Marcus and their mother parished in the fire.
Beth has moved from the area, unable to deal with all of the tragedies. She is suffering physical ailments, but was alive the last they spoke with her.
I am clutching the phone as I slide down the wall to the floor. My legs refuse to work.
I don't know how long I sat there, but I did get up after some maneuvering. I wash my hands, clear the phone history, and lay it back on the counter.
Then I leave the bathroom. The room is noisy with people talking and dishes clanking. There's music coming from somewhere.
I see waitstaff moving around with trays of food. I watch and they are coming from a back area. I walk that way and find a kitchen. There's a back door. People are looking at me funny, but for some reason no one stops me. I walk out the back door and just keep walking.
I have no idea where I am or what I'm doing. I'm just walking. I need to move, to get away, to get that information away from me, so I need to keep moving. I don't hear anything except the blood rushing through my ears. I'm not really even seeing where I'm walking and stumble several times. I don't fall though.
I couldn't tell you what time it is, what day it is or anything. I am so fucked up everything is background noise.
Eventually someone grabs me. I don't know who. I just know I've stopped my forward momentum and as I'm trying to keep moving forward there are hands stopping me. I don't even know who the hands belong to.
Then suddenly I am gazing at the sky. I'm confused about why I'm seeing the sky and my feet aren't walking. Then I'm looking at the inside roof of a car, I'm so confused. Are we driving away? Is the car going to get me away from the things from the bathroom?
My mind wonders. I am talking to Cin about a pie Beth is going to make. I love Beth's pie, she is such a great cook. We'll have to spend extra time working out, but Beth's pie is worth it.
I'm playing video games with the boys, Marcus is accusing me of cheating, but he's laughing, he's not really mad. He's just giving me shit because I beat him twice. Elijah is laughing.
I am talking to Beth, we are having coffee in the kitchen. Cin's birthday is soon and we are planning what we should do. She is laughing and happy, and everything is great.