This is the story of a failure boy, a boy who has just finished high school and doesn't go to college and ends up trying to get a job. In the job that he applies for, he is refused, and well, he ends up with no job. Many months pass and he just ends up staying at home doing the same thing over and over: eat, sleep, repeat. Nothing at all. A failure, a weak person that can't even get one job.
When he was in high school, he always said to himself that he would go to college and all, just so that he could get a job and make money and all, but it all turned off. While he tries online business to get some little amount of money.
wakes up
Ahhh, I am tired. What hour is it? 10 am. Man, time really passes fast, huh. Okay, let's get ready. Just kidding, as if I have a job or anything to do. lies down in the bed again I wanna do something, but I can't do nothing, not even just one job. So many people out there now are probably having their time wasted on those jobs, though. It's crazy, they want time to spend on themselves, while me that has all the time to myself don't feel good at all. Time really is a valuable asset and I just can't figure it out on how to use it.
checks phone
As I thought, nothing. No new notifications. I even went as far as 7 hours making videos. I must think of something new on this platform or I won't be able to make any money. They even keep the fees so high. Uh, I wanna make money. I don't understand the saying "no pain, no gain." I already applied once for a job and now spend all the time online trying to make money from print on demand.
takes off bed
Good morning house!
I still live with my parents and well yes, I have become kinda a parasite here. I just eat from them. Both my parents work, and I am the only child in the house, so yeah, lucky me I guess. They both only come at dinner since they work long hours. Both have tried getting me to work with them, but I don't think that I can handle their job. It's all about writing and stuff, you know, like assistant work for offices locally. Not quite a high job, but still they manage somehow.
goes to the fridge
Should I really eat again? How about I try not eating just today? It just makes me feel worse thinking about eating while I do nothing to deserve it. When I was in high school it was different. Not that I was in any job or something like that, but I just had to learn and get good grades. But still, I just took like mid grades. I wasn't the most intellectual being there.
proceeds to eat
I don't know if this food is bad or my tasting has just gone numb from all the eating. I can't even taste anymore. Does money control everything, I wonder? All of this just happens because of money after all. It's not like our family is that bad on the money side, but I feel useless.
leaves food in the middle unfinished
I can't even go out. How could I go after all? All the fear from bumping into classmates or teachers in the street just makes me tired out. Man, I really must get this life of mine in my hands. It seems like every time I try to catch it or control it, it just slips off my hands.
goes in backyard
I really love gardening and all. In this backyard I feel so protected from the wood fence. No one can watch me. I try to grow things here, though I am not much of a green thumb gardener. I try to grow with no success, or rather I don't know the basics and all, so I only plant beans just to be eaten by whiteflies. I guess that's my battle, which the whiteflies win. I can't defeat them. Every time I try a solution they just come back to eat the bean plants.
My world isn't the best out there, but I try to make something to earn money every day.
goes into bedroom
I really must try to get some money with this print on demand thing. It is quite the bother since I don't have any skill in designing, but with AI I like the graphics that it makes. But it's a bother to get them upscaled so they aren't low quality when printed. So far it hasn't been any development for me. Even my YouTube channel which I mostly use for anime recommendations isn't paying off at all, though I doubt that I can get monetized on YouTube. I mean 3000 hours and 500 subscribers. I rarely make any long video, mostly I only do short videos. I have all the time, yes, but I procrastinate a lot.
My earning money ideas had been through all the things: musician, print on demand, MeTube channel, crypto, NFT, mobile game earning, tap tap. Oh, I actually have earned a bit of money from a game back when I was in high school. It was exactly $0.6. I got it as I spent exactly 2 weeks tapping on the screen on my phone. I jumped like crazy when I earned the money. I thought I would get rich, but the game was removed then or discontinued and I could never earn any more money.
Watching all these people that get called prodigy at 15 at making money while I sit here spending time as an 18 year old boy really puts me down. Maybe I am not smart enough at these, that gotta be the reason. But again, being with these for 4 years and not generating any income online… stop kidding with me internet. What do I do to earn, huh internet? Tell me, tell me what can I do to get any income from you. For God's sake I don't wanna be a parasite man.
sobs
It hurts deep to me. There gotta be something there that I was made for. After all everybody has their own purpose. For what was I made? To do nothing?!
Heh, my mental health really doesn't seem to be doing good either. Hahahaha. I am fine man.
looks in the mirror
We are fine, right. smiles
Right, talk to me man in the mirror. Talk so I can listen. Somebody tell me that I am doing a good job…
I should just sleep.
goes to sleep
I guess all I do is just eat and sleep after all.
3am
phone notification sound