Chapter 10
The Things I Never Let Go
He wasn't expressive.
Not in words.
Not in front of people.
Not even with me… sometimes.
But he had his own way.
A quiet way.
A way that didn't need explanations.
He gave.
Small things.
Random things.
But to me…
they were everything.
The first time…
it was nothing special.
Just a chocolate.
"Take it."
I frowned.
"Why?"
"Because I bought it."
"That's not a reason."
"It is."
I rolled my eyes.
"You're weird."
"Take it."
I took it.
"Say thank you."
"No."
"Say it."
"…thank you."
"Good."
I walked away.
But later that night…
I didn't eat it.
I kept it.
Carefully.
Inside my drawer.
I don't know why.
Maybe…
because it was from him.
Then it continued.
A pen.
"You'll lose yours."
"I won't."
"You will."
"…okay maybe."
"Take it."
Another thing added.
A small keychain.
"This reminded me of you."
"Why?"
"It's annoying."
"KEIFER!"
He laughed.
I kept that too.
Every little thing.
Without telling him.
Without showing anyone.
It became a habit.
Birthdays.
Festivals.
Random days.
He would always give something.
Not big.
Not expensive.
But personal.
And I would always…
pretend it was nothing.
"Why do you keep giving me things?"
"Because I can."
"That's not an answer."
"It is."
"Idiot."
"Say thank you."
"…thank you."
But inside?
I felt something else.
Something soft.
Something warm.
Something I couldn't explain.
One day…
Ella noticed.
"Why do you never use that pen?"
"I do."
"No you don't."
"I will."
She grabbed my bag suddenly.
"Wait—!"
Too late.
She opened it.
And froze.
"Jay…"
My heart stopped.
Inside…
were all the things.
Neatly kept.
Carefully preserved.
"Why do you have all this?"
"I just… kept them."
"Why?"
I didn't answer.
Because I didn't know how to.
Or maybe…
I knew.
But I couldn't say it.
Ella looked at me slowly.
"This is not 'just friends'."
Silence.
I took my bag back quickly.
"It's nothing."
"Jay—"
"It's nothing."
But it wasn't.
Because later that night…
I opened that drawer again.
Looked at everything.
The chocolate.
The pen.
The keychain.
And more.
Little pieces of him.
Little memories.
Little moments…
turned into things.
I touched them softly.
Like they were fragile.
Like they mattered.
Because they did.
More than anything.
Because these weren't just gifts.
They were proof.
That what we had…
was real.
Even if no one knew.
Even if I couldn't say it out loud.
Even if I had to hide it from the world.
I held them close.
Not knowing…
that one day…
these same things…
would be all I had left of him.
And I would hold onto them…
like they were the only pieces of my heart
that didn't leave.
To be continued… 😏💔