The Condiment Guild occupied a great edifice on Tier Two — the Sauce Tower, a
gleaming structure of glass and ambition that smelled of vinegar and accumulated
advantage. Gaining entry required either an appointment or a diversion. Kale employed
both.
Mayonnaise — known as the Mayor — was pale, smooth, and composed with the
absolute steadiness of someone who had outlasted four administrations by remaining
agreeable to each. She did not rise when Kale entered.
MAYO: "Agent Kale. I expected thee yesterday. Thou art thorough, but not swift."
AGENT KALE: "Then thou knowest I carry thy ledger."
MAYO: "I know thou carriest a ledger. Whether it be mine is a question my
lawyers would take considerable pleasure in disputing."
AGENT KALE: "The Ripened One. Who is it?"
MAYO: "An independent contractor. Avocado. Formerly of the Fruit Kingdom's
diplomatic corps. Gone independent eighteen months past. But there is a difficulty.
The commission did not originate with the Guild. Someone accessed our internal
commission system and placed the order in my deputy's name. We were the
screen."
AGENT KALE: "The second signatory on the Freezer Isles account. The one with
the three-hundred-year-old registration code."
MAYO: "Thou knowest about that. Yes. The code appears in our oldest records. It
was a founding member designation — a house called Old Vinegar. The code was
supposed to have been retired when Old Vinegar closed its doors one hundred and
forty years past."
AGENT KALE: "One hundred and forty years. The same period during which
Article the Seventh was sealed."
Mayonnaise's expression did not change, but something behind it shifted.
AGENT KALE: "There is one more matter. I need to know about the Pith Cartel's
relationship with the Frozen One. Fennel was killed on the Frozen One's instruction
by Pepperoncini. The Cartel received payment through the Guild's Freezer Isles
account. Which meaneth thou hast processed a payment for a murder. Knowingly
or not."
A very long silence. Mayonnaise sat very still in the particular way of someone who
is deciding how much truth to release, and has decided that the full amount is now the only
viable option.
MAYO: "I discovered the payment four days after it was processed. I had not
authorised it. I have been attempting to determine who had access to authorise
payments without my knowledge. This is why I have not been sleeping. And why
Cider Vinegar — the Pith Cartel's intelligence operative — hath been following me
for the past two weeks."
AGENT KALE: "She is blackmailing thee."
MAYO: "She is holding the payment record over me. If it becomes known that the
Guild processed a murder payment — even fraudulently — the Guild is finished.
Which would collapse the legitimate condiment trade across all of Grovia. Which,
conveniently, would benefit the Peeler Mafia and the Grain Cartel enormously."
AGENT KALE: "They are all connected. The cartels and mafias did not come to
this crisis independently. Someone organised them."
MAYO: "Someone has been managing three criminal organisations
simultaneously whilst running an intelligence operation and executing a
three-hundred-year-old plan. My operative within the Freezer Isles sent a message
last week: The Frozen One is not from the Bloc. The Frozen One is Old Vinegar. The
last of the house, returned."
She walked out of the Sauce Tower with the conviction that she was not navigating
toward the centre of a single conspiracy. She was standing at the intersection of several.
One three months old. One three hundred years in the making. And a murder that was
both.