A/N: I am fully aware that this chapter is listed as Chapter 1 by the site, that's exactly why I'm calling this Chapter 0, purely for the sake of pissing every single one of you off every time you read the title.
I won't be giving detailed descriptions of things like character appearances unless there is a good reason to, such as explaining the MC's appearance. I find it utterly unnecessary since you should already know if you're reading a fanfic about this series.
Things will be explained as the story goes on, such as the MC's powers and so forth. I'm more than sure you'll be able to make an accurate guess as the story progresses, probably even in this chapter. If not, skill issue, I guess.
Enjoy the story, fuckers.
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Adaptability.
One of the core traits that a member of the Nameless should have.
After all, if you're a part of a group of individuals that live their lives traversing across worlds and diving headfirst into the unknown, being able to adapt to any situation was a crucial skill needed for survival.
However, despite the countless worlds March has travelled to, as well as the numerous dangers she's braved alongside her fellow Nameless, none of that was enough to allow her to even attempt to comprehend the situation in front of her.
With an entirely blank look on her face, March could only stare in silence at the scene that played out in front of her.
Inside the Astral Express's party car, aside from the pristine seats and bar area, what really stood out were the strange holographic platforms that were currently scattered across the entire car.
However, it wasn't those blocks made of seemingly solid light that caught her attention, it was the two individuals who had been parkouring across them, seemingly trying to make their way to the top. Where a single golden platform hovered high above, bearing a checkered finish-line flag.
The first individual was one of her treasured companions here on the Astral Express, a certain grey-haired raccoon-natured male. While the other, although new, was now undoubtedly one of the Nameless.
The newcomer was a male, about the same age as herself and Caelus, perhaps a bit younger. With a somewhat pale complexion, but not one so pale that it'd be considered unhealthy in any way.
He had a head of dark-brown, silky, spiky hair swept to the right, along with a pair of sharp, mischievous amethyst eyes. As for his physique, although a bit on the skinnier side, it was still one very much that of an athlete.
As for clothing, compared to either of them or any of the others here on the express, his clothing was much simpler. It wasn't in any way flashy, but rather simple in both design and colour.
Consisting simply of a white and black hooded jacket over a simple white t-shirt, as well as a pair of dark-blue cargo pants that were still sleek enough to show off his slender legs, and finishing with a set of simple black running shoes.
This newcomer was Nico Rhyme, someone who had joined the Astral Express only yesterday through... rather unbelievable circumstances.
"Nico, pull me up! I'm gonna fall...!"
"I'm trying my best here! You're heavier than you look!"
"No, I'm not! How can you say something so rude?! I'm a young man with feelings!"
"Sorry, not sorry! I'd be more polite... if my balls weren't on the verge of splitting apart!"
With a painful cry, Nico was desperately holding onto Caelus, who was flailing around in a panic. They were currently between two platforms high above, near where the final golden platform was, and after a certain mistake, they were now in their current situation.
Nico, with his legs as the only support, was still holding them up, each foot firmly planted on the sides of the two platforms. His arms were busy holding tightly onto Caelus, who had tripped and was flailing around in fear of falling.
"...What is all this?"
"March, help us...!" Caelus, upon seeing March down below, screamed in desperation. "Nico can't hold on for much longer!"
"No, don't! If she helps, then the game will consider that outside assistance. All our efforts will be for nothing!"
"Never mind!" Hearing this, Caelus immediately changed his mind. "March, don't move a muscle!"
"Come on, we can do this...!" Nico, with a vein popping on the side of his face, gritted his teeth as he attempted to pull Caelus up, his arm muscles bulging as he did so. "Ow! Ow! Ow! My balls, my balls...!"
"Nico~!" Caelus, hearing his new friend's wails of pain, couldn't help but scream out in horror. "There's gotta be something we can do to get out of this situation... I have an idea! Nico, I'm gonna try and swing myself up! The momentum will bring you up too!"
"If you mean to the afterlife, then yes! That force will rip my balls apar- hold on! Wait! Wait!"
"Here we go!"
Using his legs, Caelus began swinging back and forth, and his movements naturally also caused Nico's arms to start swinging as well. It took a number of swings, but Caelus eventually managed to build enough momentum.
"This is it!" Caelus grinned with confidence, while Nico had crocodile tears running down his face. "Just need... a good... swing!"
"Ow-whoa-oh-OH-ho-ho-hoo!"
༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽
Exactly like a certain cartoon cat, Nico released a scream of pure agony as Caelus swung up and into the air, dragging Nico along as they flew a few feet into the air before managing to land on top of the lower platform of the two.
"Alright, we're finally back up!" Caelus, seeing their success, couldn't help but pose confidently before turning to address his comrade in arms. "Nico, we can finally win this game and get our rewar-Nico?!"
"..."
When Caelus turned to look at Nico, the latter was completely unresponsive, lying on the platform next to Caelus, all colour seemingly drained from his very being as a wisp representing his soul flew up.
Grabbing Nico by the shoulders, Caelus shook the former back and forth vigorously.
"Nico, wake up! We're so close to the finish line...!"
"Caelus..." Nico, his eyes barely opened up, turned his head to look at the other male directly in the eyes. Small tears were swelling at the corners, and his eyes were rather misty. "I don't think I can make it, y-you'll have to do it... for the both of us."
"I-I can't..." Caelus struggled to speak as tears also formed in his eyes. "We got to this point by working together. If I make it to the end without you, what kind of... what kind of victory will that be?!"
"Listen to me...!" Nico forced out firmly. "Every victory, no matter what kind, has meaning... go, claim the flag that we both worked so hard for! This game stripped us both of our power for its twisted rules, but we overcame it anyway! Didn't we?!"
"W-We... We did!" Caelus exclaimed. "We beat it even as ordinary humans!"
"Exactly..." Nico nodded with a smile. "Even if I can't get to the end myself, at the very least you can! For you, for me, for my balls! As long as you get to the end, that's all that matters! Promise me..."
"P-Promise what? You can say it! I'll make sure to keep it!"
"Promise me...!"
"Yes?!"
"Promise me... bleh."
"N-Nico...? NICO~!"
‧º·(˚ ┳Д┳ )‧º·
As Caelus screamed up towards the heavens with tears running down his face and a 'dead' Nico Rhyme in his arms, March simply watched with the blankest look she had ever mustered. She had witnessed a lot during her travels.
From the Herta Space Station, Belobog, the Xianzhou Luofu, Penacony, and all the way to Amphoreus. Yet none of what she had seen during those times had rendered her as speechless as she was now.
She wasn't alone either, even Shush, who had been silently watching from the bar, was rendered completely speechless. Even before March arrived, Shush had witnessed the game's chaos from beginning to end.
xXx
"Okay, I'm trying to get my head wrapped around this..."
March could only hold the side of her head with visible pain evident on her face, while the two 'responsible' for her headache simply stood there in front of her with nonchalant, innocent expressions.
Between the three of them was a large, wrapped present in the form of your typical Christmas-style bow-tied gift box, even coloured appropriately, emerald green with vibrant red ribbons.
"You guys woke up early and decided to go on a hunt around the Express to find... games? Games that would reward you guys with presents like these, and according to Nico, could hold some of the greatest treasures beyond human comprehension?"
Nico and Caelus glanced at each other before looking back and nodding their heads up and down continuously.
"Ugh, it's too early for this..." March could only groan into her hands. Despite having the situation explained to her by these two, she still couldn't grasp it properly. "Shouldn't you be recovering, Nico?"
"Recovering?" Nico blinked as he repeated the former's words. "From what?"
"The injuries that you got from yesterday, what else?" Speaking in a semi-exasperated tone, March could only stare at Nico in disbelief at his seemingly genuine confusion. "The Express crashed into you, flailing around in space!"
"Oh~, that!" Understanding, Nico nodded his head. "There's no need to worry, I've survived worse."
To this, even Caelus joined March in her disbelief as they both stared at the newest member of the crew. They remembered the image vividly, the image of when they had only just finished a warp jump, and the Express was in the process of slowing down.
Before the Express could slow down to a safe speed after the warp jump, Nico had come flailing around in the void of space out of nowhere right in front of them. By some miracle, the latter hadn't been smacked into red smoke.
Instead, he was sent flying through the void of space while spinning like a frisbee.
"So, do we have to do anything special when opening this thing?" Caelus, moving the conversation along, shifted the topic to the gift box as they all looked down at the present, reaching up to their waist height. "Or do we just open it?"
"Nothing special, literally just open it."
"Is there really anything incredible, as you said, in this thing?" March could only ask with clear doubt in her tone as she placed both hands on her hips. "I don't want to be that girl, but it sounds ridiculous."
"Well, you'd better start believing. The rewards that can come out of these things are truly limitless." With confidence, Nico held one of the ends of the present's bow. "From the simplest of things to cosmic horrors, let's go! Hwah!"
With a powerful yank, the bow immediately unravelled as a bright light crept through the open gaps between the present's top and its body. The present shook around for a moment as the three of them unconsciously stepped back.
They watched as the top bounced around before the light from inside the present exploded, sending the top flying and disappearing into particles in the distance. Only when the light disappeared did they dare to walk forward, well, Nico did so with no concern.
"Whatcha got for us, baby?!"
Without hesitation, Nico leaned over the edge of the present and stuck his head over the top. The other two did the same after a moment of reluctance, peeking over curiously alongside Nico.
Caelus tilted his head. "A board game?"
"Is that really it?" March blinked in confusion and disappointment. "I was expecting something... better."
True to what they were saying, a board game sat at the bottom of the present, neatly packed away in a colourful cardboard box. Unlike March, Nico was more optimistic and reached in to take it out.
"It's the gift box since arriving here on the express, I'm sure it's much more than a simple board game," Nico assured as he yoinked the game out of the gift box. "Even if it isn't anything crazy, we have a game to play together!"
"That's true!" Caelus also smiled with Nico, unconsciously affected by the latter's optimism. "What kind of board game is it-... uh..."
"What's wrong?" March blinked after seeing Caelus's awkward expression next to Nico's deadpanned look. Walking over next to them, she leaned in to read the image on the box. "Let's see her-PFFT! What is that title?!"
"As expected." Nico narrowed his eyes as his expression turned comically serious. "Even the simplest of items from the gift boxes hold hidden fangs. This is a board game to test our willpower."
"A test?" Caelus felt a small sweat run down the side of his face. "What kind...?"
"This is a game of art, art not only of imagination but also the element of a sense of deep exploration into the unknown. " Nico closed his eyes for a moment before opening them slowly. "Within... a test that challenges the very universe within our own souls!"
"Our souls?!"
"As if!" March cried out with shark teeth and whited out eyes, she then pointed a shaking finger at the board game in Nico's hands. "That's just a board game made for perverts, there's no deeper test!"
The name of said board game.
The Scramble For Porn Mags In Space!