"You got this." I say breathing heavily, my heartbeats dancing inside my body. I count it to distract myself.
Maybe, by changing my life, I can finally break free from the mess. But is anything really guaranteed? Forget it. Let's just go.
"Next," the guy says without looking at us. It is almost like it has become an unconscious habit for him. For him, it carried no weight at all--unlike me.
I was the only one nervous. It seemed as if it was not anybody's first time, or maybe they came to a certain point where they couldn't hold it anymore. I have to stop observing people..
"Sir?"
"Yeah?"
"We have a long line today. Please be more aware of your surroundings. You still have the choice to back out. I suggest you do. You do not look like you had a good night's sleep."
"Well thanks for your concern, but I am certain of the choice I made."
"Alright, your ID and the age range you want to be in. Everything else is chosen randomly."
His cold words and expressions made me shiver, but I had to stick to my decision.
"Here you go."
"I don't wanna come out as nosy, but you just turned eighteen. You haven't lived your life to the fullest. The world may hold something precious for you at the end of your teenage years. You wouldn't know if you don't experience it. I know that I work a shady job, but it doesn't stop me from caring." he smirked as he said that, leaving me in deep suspicion.
"Thank you for your concern, but I have already made up my mind."
I didn't expect to see that side of him. He came to me as cold before. Maybe at the end of it all people care, but they just are too embarrassed to show it off..That already comes off as bad, minds cannot be read.
I prefer people who are straightforward. I mean, this already sounds like I am bashing him out, which I honestly am. But, I am honestly trying to justify it and just mind my own business.
"When your name is called out, you have to go to room 4. Since there is a big crowd today, you would have to wait quite some while. Go rest on the seat, and I will call out your name when it's time." This time, his smirk grew even bigger, but somehow, this was not a sign for me to stop at this point.
My first thought was to worry, but now that I got here, I feel empty. It feels like almost no one is breathing, I must say they look like soldiers; no one is smiling nor talking and the atmosphere is tense, it felt like zombies performing the same ritual.
A bunch of people who are unwilling to live are already dead inside, what did I really expect? I find that their carelessness made me better. A world where you wouldn't be judged is a good one indeed, but it is definitely something only to be wished.
Maybe all it took from me is to just sleep it off. Dreams are like a reality that would never come true, though. But to exchange my life? I really look like a fool in the eyes of any person. But, at least I am not the only fool.
The sound from the air conditioner puts me in a good state of mind. All it takes is to ignore people's reactions. They are more busy thinking about themselves than to think about you. It is really surprising how everyone thinks they are on the spot.
I have been waiting for quite a while right now, but the crowd seems to be getting bigger and bigger. What drove people to such an extent? And if everybody is trading lives, shouldn't that mean that no life is good? I think people are weird, but I cannot really talk about that cause I am waiting to exchange my life just like them.
It is definitely weird that I am getting excited to find out what is awaiting me. Should I even care enough to fantasize about it or just distract myself while time goes by? I think I would rather sleep…wait, where am I?