"D-Does that count as a compliment?"
Ayaka Totsuka scratched his cheek a little bashfully.
"Ishikawa-kun's choice of words is always so strange. I can barely understand what you mean."
Ishikawa Hikaru immediately snapped to attention. He pounded his chest twice and solemnly raised his right hand in a salute toward Ayaka Totsuka.
"Apologies! Lord Totsuka! I failed to recognize you earlier! Sergeant Ishikawa reporting for duty!"
"If you encounter any difficulties, please feel free to command me and Private Third Class Hachiman Hikigaya! We will resolve your troubles with the utmost speed, highest efficiency, and best methods!"
"I and Private Third Class Hachiman Hikigaya will become the sharp blades that carve a path through thorns and overcome all obstacles for you!"
"Eh—e-eh? Why so sudden?"
Ayaka Totsuka's hair fluttered in the breeze blowing through the courtyard.
Hachiman Hikigaya sighed.
"This is exactly why I told you to stay away from him."
Ishikawa Hikaru was still saluting with extreme seriousness.
Seeing that Ishikawa had no intention of explaining his sudden burst of dramatic "grand speech," Hachiman reluctantly acted as a translator.
"What Ishikawa-kun means is that you're a very kind, gentle, and good-natured person. He really admires your kindness."
"So if you run into any problems, you can ask either him or me for help."
"Desu!" Ishikawa added emphatically while still saluting.
"I-It's not as great as you two make it sound…" Totsuka said shyly.
"But thank you. I'm really touched."
"I just hope the situation with the Tennis Club can reach a solution that satisfies everyone."
"Please rest assured," Ishikawa said seriously, finally lowering his hand.
"If I completely mess up the Tennis Club situation, I'll take responsibility for fixing it."
"If my actions cause the club to fall apart, I'll rebuild a better Tennis Club from scratch."
"And I'll personally lead Sobu High's Tennis Club to win the National Championship."
"That's my promise to you, Totsuka-kun."
"Y-You don't need to make it sound so serious…"
"But the situation with the Tennis Club is troubling you, isn't it?" Ishikawa said firmly.
"If even someone as kind and gentle as you is worried about the club's future, that means the situation must already be pretty bleak."
"That's why the current order may need to be overturned."
"I believe kindness should always be protected."
"Kind people shouldn't have to face the cold wind alone."
"So I'll help you."
"And I hope you'll continue to remain the kind person you are."
"As for the harsh wind meant for you—"
"Let Hachiman the Fool block it."
Ishikawa smirked dismissively.
"He's used to it anyway."
Hachiman's blood pressure instantly spiked.
A vein bulged on his forehead.
"So I'm only worthy of that kind of treatment?"
Ishikawa looked shocked.
"T-Teacher Hikigaya—don't tell me you want to become one of the Ayasa people too?"
"That's not it! What kind of logic is that?!"
"You're not?" Ishikawa sighed with relief.
"Thank goodness. I thought the world was about to end."
"You scared me."
Hachiman finally snapped.
"I think the world will be destroyed if you continue existing!"
"What are you saying to me, the savior of the world?" Ishikawa scolded him.
"I spent a lot of money at Chaldea solving the Incineration of Human Order problem!"
"You can't accuse me like that!"
"If you keep speaking disrespectfully, I'll send the Demon Slayer to your house tonight!"
"Those series aren't even from the same universe!" Hachiman shouted.
"Have you gone insane from playing too many games?!"
Despite their heated argument, Ayaka Totsuka didn't try to stop them.
Instead, he quietly watched with a gentle smile.
After all—
Their relationship was genuinely good.
Like two kindergarten boys baring their teeth at each other, arguing about who was stronger.
---
37. So, Will the Problem Child Meet a Prolific Author?
Ishikawa didn't continue arguing with Hachiman for long.
The main reason was Totsuka.
Leaving him standing there alone would be rude.
So Ishikawa simply said,
"Too lazy to argue with you. I'm off to save the world."
Then he ran away while holding his phone.
After all, he had already gained unexpected information during lunch break.
There was no need to continue childish arguments.
He hurried back to the classroom.
Before even reaching his seat, he loudly called out:
"Ebina! I need to talk to you! Come here for a moment!"
Everyone in the Miura group turned to look at him.
Even other students in the classroom looked over.
Because of that—
Ishikawa noticed a subtle change in someone's expression.
Kakeru Tobe.
Unlike Miura's impatience, Hayama's confusion, Yuigahama's curiosity, or Ebina's surprise—
Tobe showed a faint trace of hostility.
Ebina asked curiously,
"Is there something you need from me, Ishikawa-sensei?"
"Come over. It's good news."
"Okay."
Ebina waved to Miura and the others.
"I'll go hear what 'good news' Ishikawa-sensei has."
"Go ahead," Miura said impatiently.
Ever since the conflict involving Yui, Ishikawa had started appearing around their group frequently.
Sometimes close.
Sometimes distant.
Like a ghost popping up during lunch.
Miura found him annoying—but she had to admit he had become a strange "independent presence" around their group.
Ebina and Yuigahama had already formed a friendship with him.
She didn't even know when it started.
So she simply tolerated it—as long as he didn't steal them away from her.
Hayama teased,
"Looks like Yumiko is finally acknowledging someone outside our group."
"I just don't want to deal with him," Miura pouted.
"If he talked nonsense to me like he does to that dead-fish-eye loner, I would've shut him down immediately."
"Scary…" Hayama laughed.
Then he glanced at Ishikawa and Ebina.
Ishikawa had pushed two desks together and was whispering something mysteriously to her.
Curious—but not wanting to pry—Hayama shifted the topic.
"By the way, I heard from a senior during soccer practice that we'll have internships in two weeks."
"Apparently we'll be assigned in small groups."
"Really?"
Their conversation continued.
---
Meanwhile—
Ebina sat beside Ishikawa after he moved the desks.
"Ishikawa-sensei, what good news is so important that you needed to move desks like this?"
"Sit, sit."
Ishikawa leaned closer and whispered excitedly.
"Do you know Ayaka Totsuka from our class?"
"The one who looks like a girl and has a really gentle personality?"
"I know him."
"I went to find Hikigaya earlier."
"But when I arrived, I saw that dead-fish-eye monster sitting alone with Totsuka in the courtyard."
"They were chatting and laughing together."
"I secretly observed them for several minutes."
Ebina's glasses flashed ominously.
"So they've formed a dark-hearted seme × timid uke CP!"
"Well, it's still too early to conclude that," Ishikawa whispered mysteriously.
"But from a bystander's perspective…"
"I think you might be right."
"Ehehehehe…"
Ebina let out a sinister fujoshi laugh.
"I plan to write a BL short story inspired by Hikigaya and Totsuka," Ishikawa said with a wicked grin.
"With a veteran fujoshi like you guiding me, I'll develop excellent BL writing skills."
"And harvest the wallets of fujoshi readers."
"Ishikawa-sensei!" Ebina said emotionally.
"You're willing to create content just for me!"
"I don't know how to thank you!"
"It's nothing."
Ishikawa smiled darkly.
"You ship Hayama × Tobe."
"I ship Hikigaya × others."
"So we're kindred spirits."
"Maybe someday we'll even get Hikigaya × Hayama."
"I'll keep producing BL until I master writing for female audiences."
"I-Is that really okay?!" Ebina said excitedly.
Ishikawa glanced toward the Miura group.
Someone was still secretly watching them.
He stood up and raised both hands in the Praise the Sun pose.
"Then swear allegiance to me, General Ebina!"
Ebina jumped up and saluted him enthusiastically.
"Salute to you, Ishikawa-sensei!"
---
38. So, Do Problem Children Yearn for Youth?
After the fifth period ended, Ishikawa quietly sorted through the information he had gathered today.
He had learned quite a lot.
Hayama's attitude toward Miura was clear.
He understood her feelings—
But refused to respond.
At the same time, he placed enormous importance on preserving their group.
This matched Ishikawa's earlier suspicions.
Something must have happened in Hayama's past.
Someone like him—sitting at the top of the social hierarchy—should already know how to handle romantic situations.
Even Ishikawa himself had experienced similar situations in his first year.
In normal social life, it wasn't unusual for girls from nearby friend groups to develop feelings.
Girls naturally want to get closer to the person they admire.
Joining the same group is the easiest way.
They can meet daily.
Spend time together.
Create opportunities.
But Hayama chose something else.
Even when forced to choose between Miura's feelings and group harmony—
He still prioritized group harmony.
Which meant—
Something in his past had made him afraid to reject people.
"Indecisive… inconsistent…"
While the teacher continued lecturing, Ishikawa lay face-down on his desk and muttered his evaluation.
Perhaps Hayama's intentions were originally kind.
But the more someone fears losing things—
The more problems they create for the future.