"I mean what I said." I responded blankly, staring her in the eyes.
"B-But, you have a chance at imperfection! Isn't that what you want?" She asked, trying to persuade me otherwise.
"I love my family."
My response seemed to surprise Alistoria as she widened her eyes, jolting back as if she had touched static electricity.
"H-Hold on a second..." Snapping her fingers, she suddenly materialized a book in front of her. Flipping through the pages, she stopped on one specific page where my name was listed.
"What are you doing?" I asked, questioning her with my brow raised.
"One moment!" Said the goddess, lifting her finger and reading through multiple paragraphs.
I couldn't let this slide. At blinding speeds, I yanked the book from her hand as she reached out to reclaim it.
"H-Hey, no! Give that back! It's the Book of Records!"
She tried approaching me—but I held out my hand—pushing it against her face to halt her in place.
Reading the book in my palm, I could see everything listed about me.
My age - 18. My height - 5'7. My birthday - January 1st. My birthplace - Japan, Tokyo.
I couldn't believe what I was reading.
My grip on the Book of Records tightened the more I read through its sloppy, disorganized paragraphs.
Each line was worse than the last! There were typos, long exaggerated sentences, inconsistent formatting, random doodles—someone had even drawn a little chibi version of me with sparkles around my head.
It felt insulting. And my natural reaction was to have my eye twitch in annoyance.
"What… is this?" I asked in a menacing tone with each word slow and pronounced.
Alistoria, who was still pinned in place by my hand on her face, muffled out.
"Mmmf—I can explaaain!"
I lowered my hand just enough so she could speak, though I kept my grip firm in case she tried something stupid.
She now inhaled dramatically, fluttering her wings nervously.
"T-That book is the official cosmic registry of all mortal destinies! The handwriting is just... uh... artistic! Very artistic! The Goddess of Fate is experimental with her style!"
She cleared her throat.
"Okay, okay! Listen!" She waved her hands frantically. "I know you love your family and all. That's in here too! Somewhere in like... page 342, I think. Or 511?! It's kind of... unorganized."
My fist tightened around the book.
"And this is supposed to be written by the Goddess of Fate?"
Alistoria gulped in a comedic fashion.
"Uhhh... yeah... ahaha!"
I stared at her blankly, noticing the more she talked, the less divine she appeared.
If anything, she reminded me of a student caught cheating on homework. She held up her palms pleadingly.
"Ayame, please don't be mad! We didn't intend to insult you! The Goddess Administration is just understaffed."
"And incompetent." I said.
"I-I guess, but your destiny was supposed to be glorious! You were meant to die, reincarnate, defeat a Demon Lord, learn friendship, struggle, fail, and cry beautifully!"
"I don't cry."
"Well, yes, we gathered that. But do you know why that's the reason?"
I stared her dead in the eyes—I did know the reason—I knew lots of things, but I hated admitting it out loud.
"Your emotions feel empty. You've become apathetic and bored. There is nothing that can truly challenge you."
"I'm well aware." I said, closing my eyes and closing the book.
She was right.
I hate to admit it. But it's the truth. Any normal person would be excited to see a goddess, maybe even worship them. But I felt none of that; my emotions are so hollow now.
"...Alright. I see you're not going to accept reincarnation." She pouted before releasing a sigh, even losing that frantic energy of hers. "But I can give you something else."
I lowered the book, though my expression didn't change.
"What are you suggesting?"
She took a deep breath as her yellow eyes met mine with a seriousness I hadn't seen from her until now.
"There is another option..." She said quietly. "A World Transfer! There will be no death, or any of that reincarnation stuff! You keep your body, memories, age... and everything!"
I lifted a brow, a bit intrigued by this. It seemed far better, and more plausible.
"So transmigration?"
"Exactly!" She said, perking up. "It'll be a direct ascension, slipping you out of this world's system entirely and placing you in Equinoxia without the whole truck-kun death thing! It'll be safe without emotional scarring, or sending you off to a different family!"
There had to be more to this than meets the eye. For some reason, I could tell there was something else at stake if I didn't comply.
"And what happens if I deny even this offer?"
All of a sudden, she averted her gaze as if my question held more weight than the stars themselves. She looked worried to answer, but she did nonetheless.
"You defied fate... Ayame-Chan. You were meant to die—you were destined for death. If someone like you keeps walking around, you'll interfere with other people's destiny, and you'll disrupt the balance of order." She took a deep breath, facing me again in the eyes. "You'll plunge this world into chaos."
"...Chaos?" I muttered under my breath, staring at her.
Alistoria nodded eagerly. She was just... being honest, about everything.
"If you stay in this world, you'll eventually break it. Not intentionally, of course! But your existence has already diverged from the predetermined structure. You're outside the script now, Ayame-Chan, and a single wrong step, or a wrong intervention... and another person's destiny goes offtrack! Do you see why that's a problem?"
Her voice dropped even further, desperate to get her point across.
"And the world will compensate."
I understood what she meant, immediately. And I hated that I understood it so clearly. It was all about compensation and equivalent exchange.
Nothing more than a crappy system trying to correct itself. If I save someone who was meant to die, then someone else dies instead.
If I keep someone alive... then another person takes their place.
And statistically, the people closest to me had the highest chance of being caught in the crossfire.
My heart was starting to race, despite my emotions being muted for so long. This was the closest thing I'd felt to real fear in years.
"What a shitty system." I said, gaining the attention of the goddess.
"H-Huh?" She widened her eyes.
"This infuriates me..." I frowned, squeezing the book tight in my hands.
"H-Hey! L-Let's calm down, I understand how you're feeling!"
"Am I so perfect that even the Gods themselves cannot challenge me?"
Alistoria further widened her eyes at my comment.
"A system that was meant to balance the universe, and maintain order... and yet I broke it..." I clenched my teeth, feeling anger brewing within me. "I thought the gods were the ones who were unbeatable? Infallible? Yet not even your kind shows any obstacles for me to overcome."
I looked up at her as she flinched at my glare, taking a long step back.
"A-Ayame-Chan, p-please don't glare at me like that! My job is hard enough already!"
The more I thought about this so-called cosmic system, the one meant to govern life, death, and destiny, the more irritated I became.
"What's the point of calling yourselves gods if the universe falls apart the moment someone like me exists?"
"That's not- well, we didn't expect someone to defy fate!" She said, standing up straight. "You're an anomaly! A-A bug in the divine system! B-But not in a bad way, just... uhm... a very... powerful glitch?!"
I frowned at her, causing her to shrink back in fear.
"Eep! Sorry! Poor wording!"
I wasn't angry at her necessarily, but rather the world, or system—no—I was angry at myself.
I had to choose between existing and destroying everything I cared about, or another life.
"...So that's it." I muttered. "I make the wrong move, someone dies, or I save a life, and someone else dies. I walk the wrong path home, the universe throws a tantrum?"
"That's... a very dramatic way of phrasing it, but... yes." Alistoria admitted, nodding her head.
A hollow laugh suddenly escaped my lips at her response.
"That's pathetic."
She didn't defend it—she didn't even try. It was as if she agreed with me.
"Ayame... I'm not asking you to forgive the system. I just want you to understand that staying here puts your parents at risk. And I know you don't want that." She spoke hesitantly. "You love them enough to refuse reincarnation. Enough to fight destiny itself just to see them again! That love is the only reason I'm offering transmigration instead, so you won't have another family. It's not common for goddesses like me to do this."
Love. It was such a small word, yet the only one still capable of affecting me to this degree.
If this unstable system tried to 'correct' me... they would be the first ones to pay the price.
I had no choice.
"...Damn it." I muttered.
Alistoria looked at me hopefully.
"Ayame-Chan...?"
I shut my eyes for a while as my anger didn't vanish, nor my feelings of injustice. But emotions—no matter how small—fought with logic inside of me.
And reason won.
"I can't let my feelings decide this." I said. "If staying here risks their lives, then I don't have a choice."
"You do have a choice!" She said, much giddier than before. "You chose them!"
I released a long sigh.
"...Fine. I'll go."
Her eyes brightened as she took a step forward.
"R-Really?! You'll accept the World Transfer?"
"Don't get excited." I said, staring her down. "I'm not doing this because your system is convincing. I'm doing it because my parents don't deserve to die over the universe being unable to handle someone like me."
She nodded quickly—energetically even.
"Of course! Of course! That's completely understandable! And thank you for choosing the safest route! I promise the transition will be smooth."
I glanced up at her with an expression still stern.
"I'm not forgiving the gods."
"I... didn't expect you to!" She said with a nervous smile. "But... thank you for trusting me enough to accept the transfer."
I looked away.
"Just hurry up before I change my mind."
She lifted her hand, and all of a sudden, a magic circle manifested before my very eyes.
"Okay... I'll send you to Equinoxia! You'll keep your body, your memories, your consciousness... and everything that makes you Ayame! Are you ready?"
"Let's get this over with," I said, lowering my head.
Alistoria raised her hand as light gathered in her palm, swirling like liquid.
"And here we go!"