The last thing I remembered was the screech of tires and the smell of burnt rubber. Typical. Now, however, the only thing I smelled was… exotic fruit?
I opened my eyes, and the world was purple. Not a "bruised sky" purple, but a deep, royal violet that stretched into an endless cosmic sea. I wasn't lying on asphalt; I was floating on a bed of silk that felt suspiciously like a giant marshmallow.
"Lord Champa, you've been napping for three decades. If you sleep any longer, your neck fat will become sentient."
The voice was melodic, haughty, and came from somewhere above my head. I rolled over, my body feeling strangely heavy yet incredibly powerful, and caught my reflection in a floating crystalline orb.
I didn't scream. I didn't have the breath for it. I was a large, bipedal purple cat. I was wearing a black and gold collar, some baggy red pants, and enough eyeliner to front a 2000s emo band.
I was Champa. The God of Destruction of Universe 6.
"Vados?" I croaked. My voice sounded like gravel hitting a velvet drum.
"At your service, though your lack of enthusiasm is par for the course," the tall, blue-skinned woman replied, tapping her staff against the ground. The shockwave of the tap sent a ripple through the atmosphere that would have leveled a city on Earth.
The Realization
It hit me then. This wasn't just a dream or a weird afterlife hallucination. I could feel it—a cold, terrifying void sitting in the pit of my stomach. It wasn't hunger (though I was definitely starving); it was Hakai. The power to erase existence itself was humming in my veins like a live wire.
"What year is it?" I asked, scrambling to sit up. My belly jiggled. Great, I'm the out-of-shape twin.
"By the galactic standard? Year 637," Vados said, tilting her head. "Why? Do you have an appointment with a buffet you've forgotten?"
I did the mental math. Goku wouldn't be born for another century. Planet Vegeta was still a bustling hub of prickly warriors, and Beerus was likely snoring away in Universe 7, oblivious to his brother's sudden soul-swap.
A God's Appetite
"Vados," I said, standing up. The sheer pressure of my own aura cracked the floating island beneath my feet. I had to learn to suppress this, fast. "I need food. Not the usual stuff. I want something… experimental."
Vados raised a refined eyebrow. "Experimental? Last time you tried that, we had to extinguish a solar system because the spice made you sneeze."
"I'm a changed deity," I lied, patting my stomach. "And after we eat, I want to see the state of our universe. No more sleeping for decades. If I'm going to be a God of Destruction, I'm going to be the best one."
I looked out into the vast expanse of Universe 6. I knew the plot. I knew the threats. I knew about the Super Dragon Balls and the eventual Tournament of Power. But right now, 100 years before a certain Saiyan would change everything, the board was wide open.
"The best?" Vados chuckled, a hand over her mouth. "You'll have to start by touching your toes, Lord Champa. Shall we start with the appetizers?"
I looked at my paws. "Lead the way. And Vados? Make sure it's something high in protein. We've got a lot of training to do."