Nathan
The woods are suffocating. So thick. So dense. It's getting more and more dense with each passing moment. I can no longer see the sky— the canopy of the trees has swallowed it. The shadow of the trees is pressing in, twisting with every branch and leaf.
I run. I run and run and run.
I can't stop running.
My lungs are out of air.
My heart pounds so fast, I can hear it in my ears.
"Nathan" There she calls me. A sharp, hollow, high pitched cry—cuts through the silence of the woods.
I run faster. I'm getting out of breath. My lungs are burning.
"Nathan!" She calls me again.
I can't breathe anymore. I'm dying. I guess I'm dying. Is this what dying feels like?
No. No. Noooo
I open my eyes with a sudden jerk. I'm sweating. There are beads of sweat on my forehead, trickling down my temples. I lunge for the glass on the bedside table and gulp the water in one go. It's necessary to calm myself. To soothe my breathing.
These nightmares are getting worse day by day. And they always end the same way—me running, her shouting.
I've never liked them. I never will.
After a minute longer, I get up on my feet and stretch my muscles. It's not possible to workout here in Seoul. Not until I finely set up my apartment, which I haven't done yet. I guess I'm so lazy.
I look at the watch on the table. 5 a.m. It's too early. Should I wake up now? What'll I do at this hour?
Ding!
I'll cook! This might calm my mind.
***
And here goes my marinated lettuce with a sprinkle of lemon! The buns I made are steaming hot and a fresh aroma of baked flour is swirling in the whole kitchen. I inhale it, closing my eyes. Ilove this smell.
As I clean the kitchen island, I realise my heart is still racing. But well… I'm used to it.
I cut the buns in two halves and layer it with mayonnaise, marinated lettuce, slices of cheese and tomatoes and some pre-cooked kimchi. I give it a bite.
Ummm—it's delicious!
What if I add some pork?—Oh my god, heaven on a plate!
A self satisfied grin appears on my lips.
I love cooking. I was seven when I first cooked. There used to be our family gathering every weekend. My mum-dad and Anna's mum-dad. And when the elders got busy in their evening chats over wine, we kids would sneak into the kitchen and cook by ourselves. Though we could never keep it a secret— our kitchen experiments were disastrous! Our mums always knew what we did but never told us anything. We were more encouraged by that!
Anna and I were more naughty. More naughty than Mi- …
No one.
I finish the rest of my sandwich in a hurry and get under the shower. The ice-cold water falling onto my bare shoulders like blades on leaves — I like to take a cold shower whenever I've nightmares. They give me a clear start for my brain to stay steady for the rest of the day.
***
When I step out of the bathroom, it's already 8 a.m. I think I should start getting ready for my new school.
I wear my uniform. It's a sleek black design with a logo written Gwangnum High School on the front pocket of the coat. I kinda actually liked this uniform when I first saw it. I haven't worn a school uniform for four years. I don't understand why the schools in the US don't have uniforms?
I look at myself in the mirror for adding the final touch of my outfit—my glasses. I put on my black round framed glasses. Oh I probably could've casted for Harry Potter anyways.
And my overall looks… I dunno if I can call myself handsome. Though I was quite famous in my previous school. Not gonna lie about that! Girls actually drooled over me. Don't know what they saw in me, but judging by their reactions... I think I'm handsome. Hehe.
After texting my dad "I've left for school", I get going. My father's probably busy in his hospital in the US, checking after his patients by now. So it's not the time for me to call him. Though he had talked to me late last night to be sure I can live alone, this far, in another continent without them.
I sigh. I've grown up I think.
Fighting with my nightmares and dwindling with my past, I suddenly grew up.
Let's see what this new school has in store.