TWO YEARS passed in a blink.
It was again an autumn day. Xu Shuanglin lay on the roof of Rufeng Sect's great hall, watching dusk color the sky with eyes narrowed and a stalk of foxtail grass in his mouth.
Very rarely did anyone venture up here. It had used to be his own space entirely, but today there were two others with him—one to his left and one to his right. One was his brother Nangong Liu. The other was their Luo-shifu, only a few years their senior.
If Xu Shuanglin were to liken himself to anything, it'd be a fanged beast. He wasn't someone who let just anybody enter his territory, and thus he wasn't sure how this had happened. Somehow, some time ago, he'd changed his mind about letting these two up on the roof. They would idle together for hours here, watching dragonflies zipping low and the willow fluff drifting high.
"Liu-er! Xu-er! Where are you?"
Their father's exasperated voice came from beneath the colonnade. "Those two little brats run as fast as rabbits whenever I tell them to help tidy the courtyard."
"Aiya." Nangong Liu peeked his head over the eaves to watch his dad bustle around. After a few minutes, he withdrew. "Heh heh, he's gone."
"Stupid old man," said Xu Shuanglin. He lazily crossed one leg over the other, oozing disdain. "He never bothers to check the roof."
Luo Fenghua shifted uncomfortably. "This isn't exactly proper behavior…" He sighed. "Why don't you two go down in a few minutes? Let's not worry the sect leader."
"Why? No matter what happens, we'll be in trouble." Nangong Liu made a face at him. "Don'tcha agree, A-Xu?"
Xu Shuanglin didn't respond. He spat out the stalk of foxtail grass and stretched, sitting upright. "Melon seeds, gimme."
Nangong Liu poured the better half of the packet of melon seeds he'd brought up to the roof into his hands. As Xu Shuanglin cracked and ate them, he snuck amused glances at Luo Fenghua, who was stewing in anxiety. He spit out a piece of shell stuck to his mouth and grinned. "Scared, Shizun?"
"I just think it's inappropriate…"
"What's inappropriate?" said Xu Shuanglin. "If the old man scolds you, I'll give him hell."
Luo Fenghua blinked.
Xu Shuanglin stuck a hand out toward Luo Fenghua again. "Gimme a tangerine."
"Didn't you hate them…?"
Xu Shuanglin frowned. "Are you gonna give me one or keep jabbering? Don't make me grab you by the ankle and throw you off the roof."
His brother cut in like the brown-noser he was. "A-Xu, don't be mean to Shizun."
"Pfft, Shizun? That's just in front of others," Xu Shuanglin said. "What kind of shizun sneaks up to the roof to eat melon seeds with his own disciples?"
Luo Fenghua hung his head in mortification.
In truth, Xu Shuanglin loved seeing him like this; it satisfied the bully in him every time. He watched Luo Fenghua for a long while and grinned, baring white teeth. "Shizun-gege, is your disciple right?"
Shizun-gege was a nickname of Xu Shuanglin's own creation, one that tucked a teasing intimacy within outward reverence. Luo Fenghua grew upset hearing it. "D-don't call me that."
"Titles are just for show, aren't they? Shizun-gege said so himself."
Luo Fenghua was again rendered mute.
Having had his fun, Xu Shuanglin reached out again. "Gimme."
"You don't like them, and I've only brought one. It's for A-Liu."
Xu Shuanglin's eyes narrowed in a pointed stare, but it wasn't aimed at Luo Fenghua. He'd turned to glare at his brother.
Nangong Liu had been in the process of stuffing his face with cakes and nearly choked. He flapped a hand, mumbling around a full mouth. "Um, I don't really want tangerines today either. Shizun, he can have it."
Luo Fenghua thought it over. "Then you can each have half." With that, he polished the fruit with his sleeve and peeled it. He attempted to split it evenly in two, but one half still ended up bigger than the other. He looked down at his hands, vexed. Xu Shuanglin could only assume his penniless birth was the reason such simple things kept foxing him. "Aish…"
"The big one's mine." Xu Shuanglin cut in brazenly, making the decision on behalf of their would-be arbiter Luo Fenghua. He took the bigger half and said, "Give him the smaller one."
"Don't bully your ge—" Luo Fenghua said.
A segment of sweet tangerine was shoved in his mouth before he could finish. Luo Fenghua stared, eyes huge and liquid with shock.
"What are you talking about?" Xu Shuanglin chuckled. Though he lounged carelessly, his eyes were gentle. "I'm sharing my half with Shizun-gege too."
Nangong Liu scooted his way over as well, taking the smaller half of the tangerine and counting its segments. He split it again, handing the pieces to Xu Shuanglin and Luo Fenghua.
This future sect leader of Rufeng laughed. Bathed in the rosy dusk, his silky hair fluttered like dandelion down, falling across his brow. Xu Shuanglin looked at him in amusement. "What are you doing?"
"Tangerines are for sharing." He proceeded to split the melon seeds, cakes, and candied fruit into three piles. "So are sweets."
"You two are really…" Luo Fenghua mustered what little sternness he had, but neither Xu Shuanglin nor Nangong Liu seemed to feel it. They merely watched him, sweet and a little mischievous. As happy as such friendly gazes made him, Luo Fenghua couldn't avoid a pang of concern for his remaining authority. After a pause, all he managed to say was: "…masters of messing around."
"We're not, we're not," Nangong Liu said. "Even if we're messing around, that's for sharing too."
At this, Xu Shuanglin finally broke into laughter. With one hand on the roof beam and the other clapped to his brow, he smiled. "All right. In the future, the three of us will share all our tangerines and split all our sweets." He paused, looking out over the vista of Rufeng Sect's eaves, and grinned. "And climb up the roof together."
Scenes flashed by.
It was the Lantern Festival of that same year. Xu Shuanglin went barefoot and chewed absentmindedly at the stem in his mouth as he meandered down the main avenue of Rufeng Sect, giving orders as he went: "Hang that lantern higher—yes you, what are you doing leaving it down so low? If your legs are too short, get someone taller to do it."
A harried voice called from behind: "A-Xu, hold on."
Xu Shuanglin turned to see Luo Fenghua striding toward him with a pair of shoes and a worried expression. "Why are you running around without shoes again?" he said.
"This entire path is paved with qi-refining stones. Bare feet are better for absorbing spiritual energy."
"It's so cold out; why bother with such a tiny bit of spiritual energy? Hurry up and put them on—look at you, your feet are all red."
"Tsk, you're such a nag." Despite his retort, Xu Shuanglin slipped the shoes on, though not properly. Shuffling onward, he flicked a glance at Luo Fenghua. "What's this, are you free? Wanna come browse the lantern markets with me?"
"A-Liu isn't done with his homework. I have to make him finish it—"
"If you're going to babysit my idiot brother and his homework, it'll take the entire evening." Jutting out his chin, Xu Shuanglin spoke with disdain in his eyes. "Forget celebrating the Lantern Festival."
Luo Fenghua grinned good-naturedly. "That's okay. I don't really like the crowds anyway."
Xu Shuanglin stared at him, then kicked both shoes off in a fit of pique. Watching them fly off, Luo Fenghua exclaimed: "What's wrong?!"
"I don't want them! Leave me alone."
"Put them on; it's cold."
"Don't wanna! Go away!"
"…Are you angry?"
Xu Shuanglin wrinkled his nose. "Me, angry? What's there to be angry about? You're a pauper and my brother's a moron; a perfect pair. I'm sure you'll have a great time celebrating together. I'm off; don't bother me." He waved a dismissive hand and walked off with a swagger.
In that moment, he so hoped Luo Fenghua would run after him. Even if his feet were so cold they were chapped, he didn't care. He would kick off both his shoes and wait for someone to call his name from behind, then fussily tell him, You'll catch a cold.
Xu Shuanglin walked off without a backward glance, full of anticipation. But Luo Fenghua didn't run after him. Nor did he call his name. Xu Shuanglin reluctantly slowed down.
He strode down the avenue until he could see the city gates, but still no one had called to him. Xu Shuanglin cracked his knuckles. Whatever. He'd had few companions since he was young; he'd spent most of his Lantern Festivals alone. It didn't matter.
He took one step down the stairs, then another. Finally, he snapped his head around, face twisting as he howled, "Luo Fenghua!"
But Luo Fenghua hadn't gone. He still stood in the middle of the path, holding the shoes he'd picked up, unsure what to do or how to react. Xu Shuanglin's shout hit him like a club to the head. His eyes widened. "Ah…"
Xu Shuanglin stared at him. Wow. Just wow.
In the end, he and Xu Shuanglin had both kept Nangong Liu company that evening. Nangong Liu tried to stuff the scrolls into his memory in a state of complete despair. He recited, eyes rolling up in concentration, "One inch and a half beneath the sternum lies the Juque acupoint, the seat of the heart. Those wounded here will fall unconscious. To treat such an injury, aim for the acupoint to the right, beneath the lungs. Strike…strike the something?" He scratched his head. "I forgot."
"Dumbass! Death by stupidity!" Xu Shuanglin smacked his brother's head with the bamboo scrolls, fury etched across his face. "Strike another quarter inch below and they'll wake, though if they wake without healing, they shall die within one hundred days. Above the navel lies the Shuifen acupoint, connected to the small intestine and the stomach—a severe wound will cause death in twenty-eight days. We've been over this nine times! How has your idiocy not killed you yet?!"
Dejected, Nangong Liu sprawled over the table and sighed. He looked up and blew an errant lock away from his eyes. "I know I'm dumb… If only I were as smart as you."
"Impossible," Xu Shuanglin pronounced. "Keep dreaming."
***
The curtain over the doorway lifted as Luo Fenghua, cloaked against the cold, returned with the tangyuan he'd prepared. Snow had fallen into his ink-dark hair and upswept lashes, and in the glow of the stove, his unassuming face became something almost beautiful. Like a tiny winter jasmine, transformed by the touch of snow.
"You've been at it so long now; take a break. Have some tangyuan." Luo Fenghua set down the tray, which held three bowls: one for each of them.
With a cry of delight, Nangong Liu rushed to the table and grubbily reached for the bowls—but his brother yanked him to a stop. Glowering, Xu Shuanglin asked, "What's the rush? No manners at all. How about thank you?"
Nangong Liu held his tongue, stunned his manners-deficient brother had suddenly changed his tune on a festival night.
"What?" Xu Shuanglin narrowed his eyes dangerously.
Nangong Liu shook his head, then decided to go all the way—he flicked out his sleeves and performed a deep, ceremonial bow. Looking up, he said in mock obsequious tones, "This lowly one thanks Master for the gift. Heh."
Xu Shuanglin snorted. Luo Fenghua stared. Nangong Liu had clearly learned this from some novel or other. "Enough. Eat."
Luo Fenghua rubbed his hands together, red and frozen stiff. As he brought them up to his mouth to blow on them, Xu Shuanglin stepped up to take his cloak.
Such treatment embarrassed him. "Ah, you don't need to."
Xu Shuanglin ignored him. "Is it snowing outside?" he asked blandly.
"Mn, just started. If it sticks, we can have a snowball fight tomorrow."
"…Shizun." The sudden change in address was most certainly sarcasm, never respect. "How old are you, honestly?"
Luo Fenghua smiled. Looking at his soft lashes made Xu Shuanglin feel warmer, too, but when he realized this, furious shame filled him. Hastily, he cast around for some excuse to work off his temper.
As usual, Luo Fenghua didn't disappoint. Xu Shuanglin pointed at a patch on his cloak and sneered. "Are you so poor? How long have you been at Rufeng Sect? Why haven't you thrown this rag away? If you wear it while out and about, people will think we're mistreating you! Are you dumb?!"
Luo Fenghua deflated. "Um, even if there's a rip, you can still wear it once it's patched. When I think about the suffering of the lower cultivation realm, I can't enjoy any finery at all. The cost of one cloak could purchase a dozen talismans for the needy. Isn't that better?"
Xu Shuanglin's finger was still trained on the patch. He glared, furious, at Luo Fenghua.
Cautiously, Luo Fenghua prompted this star student of his. "Don't you think?"
"I think you have a problem! A pauper's problem!" But he still hung the cloak up on the rack.
The three of them sat around the warming stove eating tangyuan. They couldn't see the festival lanterns from here, but this trio had plenty to talk about when they were together. They weren't bored at all. Snow fell outside the window; frost glittered on the red lacquered frame. Firewood crackled, its light dyeing the room in warm shades of gold.
The atmosphere grew livelier with the aid of some wine. Luo Fenghua succumbed to their pestering and accepted the harp Nangong Liu brought out, his cheeks ruddy as he strummed an accompaniment to a folk song. "A flicker of petals on the water of the pond, the thrum of strings on the opposite shore. Best are those years you come of age, seeing the world's flowers astride a fast horse…"
"Shizun, Shizun, this one's nice, teach it to me. What's it called?"
"'Ode to Youth,'" Luo Fenghua replied, voice gentle. "A short song from Sichuan. I think it really suits us."
Nangong Liu grinned, face upturned. His smiles were normally a bit too warm and edged too close to flattery—but after a few cups, his face shone with frank cheer. He laughed. "That's a good name. Doesn't that describe us perfectly? Young men in the best years of our lives?"
Xu Shuanglin crossed his arms with a snort. "Do young men fail to memorize the same book nine times?"
"Aiya, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses." Nangong Liu smiled; after all his studying, he surprisingly still had the energy to contradict his brother. "Maybe you're a genius, but I have my talents."
"…You're drunk."
Luo Fenghua smiled. He raised his cup in toast. "I wish for you two to stay in your golden years all your lives. Use your own talents to be gentlemen forever."
Nangong Liu rubbed his hands together and hooked his arm through his brother's. Disgusted, Xu Shuanglin pushed him away, but Nangong Liu didn't mind. He cackled and said, "Shizun, you reminded me of something. Even if we're not putting lanterns in the river, we still have to make a wish. Let's all make one together."
Xu Shuanglin's mouth twitched. "I think making wishes is gross."
"We'll write them on a piece of paper," Luo Fenghua said. "Once you're done, throw it in the fire. That way, it'll still come true."
In the end, each of them wrote down a wish. Luo Fenghua's was no secret; he'd already said it out loud during his toast. Nangong Liu wasn't skilled at writing either, and often sounded things out as he wrote. "I wish…to have good things to eat and drink, and to achieve great success. I wish for harmony in the world and reunions with old friends."
Xu Shuanglin felt repulsed, but underlying his revulsion, there was a feeling he couldn't explain. He was the son of his father's concubine. Few paid him any mind. Only once Luo Fenghua joined them did he have anyone he might consider a companion. He, Nangong Liu, and Shizun played together and cultivated together. Instead of saying Luo Fenghua was his shifu, it would be better to name him Xu Shuanglin's first true friend.
Because of Luo Fenghua, he even let go of his envy for his brother—his envy of how Nangong Liu had no talents yet still received so much attention by virtue of his birth. After spending their days together, he had come to find Nangong Liu cute, almost.
"A-Xu, what did you write?"
Xu Shuanglin didn't answer. He threw his wad of paper carelessly into the flames, and his wishes were swallowed by its light and heat. Sparks shone in his eyes. "Nothing, it was blank."
Nangong Liu and Luo Fenghua both looked crestfallen. Xu Shuanglin grinned, his smile wicked with a hint of sweetness. It was the smug delight that came of teasing others. Ha ha, got you.
The handwriting on that slip of paper had been neat and perfect, each stroke careful. It said: I wish for Luo Fenghua, Nangong Xu, and Nangong Liu to be friends forever. Sharing the same tangerine, splitting the same sweets, and climbing the same roof.
From our coming of age, until our hair goes white.