Log kehte hain ishq insaan ko mukammal karta hai, par meri dastaan kuch alag hi rahi. Jab ye shuru hua tha, toh laga tha jaise zindagi ko mayne (meaning) mil gaye hain. Har pal ek nayi umeed thi, har muskurahat mein uska naam tha. Lekin mujhe kya pata tha ki jis raaste par main itni khushi se chal rahi hoon, wahi mujhe meri tabahi ki taraf le ja raha hai.
Aaj jab piche mud kar dekhti hoon, toh khud ko pehchaan nahi paati. Wo ladki jo kabhi har baat par hasti thi, aaj sirf khamoshi aur aansuon ke beech kahin kho gayi hai. Haan, sach toh ye hai... barbad ho gayi hoon main.
Log kehte hain waqt har zakhm bhar deta hai, par kuch zakhm aise hote hain jo waqt ke saath aur gehre hote jaate hain. Aaj bhi jab main akele mein baithti hoon aur wo yaadein mere dimaag ke darwaze par dastak deti hain, toh mera jism thanda padne lagta hai... meri rooh kaanp uthti hai.
Wo koi mamuli dukh nahi tha. Wo ek aisi tabahi thi jisne mujhe mere hi khilaaf khada kar diya. Kabhi-kabhi mujhe lagta hai ki main tabahi ke us mod par khadi hoon jahan se vapas aana shayad mumkin hi nahi.
Barbad ho gayi hoon main, par meri barbadi ki shuruat kisi cheekh-pukaar se nahi, balki un khamosh lamhon se hui thi jahan maine apna sab kuch us par waar diya tha, ye soche bina ki wo mujhe raakh kar dega...
Chalo Mai start karti hu
Chapter 1: Barbad Hone Se Pehle Ki Wo Masoomiyat
Saal 2021... har taraf Corona ka darr, masks ki ghutan, aur sar par 10th ke board exams ka bojh. Wo meri zindagi ka wo mod tha jahan mujhe lagta tha ki meri duniya sirf kitabon aur exams tak hi hai.
Mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai wo pehla exam. Hum sab exam hall ke andar baithe hue last minute revision kar rahe the. Bahar sannata tha, par us khamoshi mein bhi koi tha jo mere liye bechain tha. Ashish. Exam shuru hone mein abhi aadha ghanta baki tha. Main khidki (window) ke paas baithi apni parhai mein khoyi thi, par bahar road par koi pagal ki tarah baar-baar chakkar laga raha tha. Sirf isliye ki wo ek nazar mujhe us khidki se dekh sake.
Mujhe us waqt tak khabar bhi nahi thi ki koi road par khada sirf mujhe ek nazar dekhne ke liye pagal ho raha hai. Mere doston ne aakar mere kaan mein phusphusaya, 'Dekho, wo road se tumhe khidki ke raste nihaar raha hai.' Maine bas ek halki si 'Haan' kahi aur apna dhyan kitabon mein laga liya. Par kismat ne shayad kuch aur hi likha tha.
Exam shuru hone mein sirf 10 minute baki the. Main washroom jaane ke liye hall se bahar nikli, aur tabhi mujhe ehsaas hua ki ye sirf ek 'crush' nahi, balki ek poora plan tha. Ashish ne apne class ki ladkiyon ko pehle se hi taiyaar rakha tha. Unhone mujhe gher liya aur sawal karne lagi.
Maine seedhe lafzon mein keh diya—'Nahi, main pasand nahi karti.'
Lekin wo ladkiyan haar maanne ko taiyaar nahi thin. Wo mere kaan bharne lagi, uski tareefein karne lagi, use ek 'hero' ki tarah dikhane lagi. Us waqt mujhe samajh aa gaya tha ki ye sab ek socha-samjha plan hai. Mujhe 'pataane' ki koshish ho rahi thi.
Main un sab baaton ko piche chhod kar wapas hall mein chali gayi. Bell baji, exam shuru hua, aur main apne sawalon mein kho gayi. Par mujhe kya pata tha ki jis sawal ka jawab maine 'Nahi' mein diya tha, wahi meri zindagi ka sabse mushkil imtehaan banne wala tha.
Patthar Aur Pehli Muskurahat
"Exam khatam hua, sabke chehron par mask the, par un mask ke peeche chupi nazrein bahut kuch keh rahi thin. Jab meri nazrein pehli baar Ashish se milin, toh mere doston ne ishara kiya—'Wahi hai wo.' Wo apne doston ke saath khada mujhe hi dekh raha tha. Main ghar toh aa gayi, par uski wo nazrein mere dimaag mein ghar kar gayi thin. Agle exam ki taiyari karte waqt bhi, kahin na kahin uska khayal mujhe disturb kar raha tha.
Ek din ke gap ke baad jab doosra exam aaya, toh wo phir wahi khada tha... mere bilkul opposite. Ek ladki ne aakar mujhse kaha, 'Tum lucky ho! Hamari class ki itni ladkiyan uspar marti hain, par wo sirf tumhe pasand karta hai. Usne aaj tak kisi ke liye aisa nahi kiya.' Maine phir se use 'Nahi' keh kar taal diya, par shayad mera dil thoda sa pighalne laga tha.
Asli tamasha toh exam ke baad hua. Main apna bag pack kar rahi thi ki maine Ashish ki awaaz suni. Usne haath mein ek patthar uthaya hua tha aur apne doston se keh raha tha, 'Agar isne mujhe 'Na' bola na, toh main ise ye patthar maar dunga!' Uske dost use uksa rahe the—'Haan, maar ke dikha!'
Maine sab kuch suna, par aisa natak kiya jaise mujhe kuch pata hi nahi. Maine use ek gusse wala look diya aur wahan se nikal gayi. Par jab main ghar pahunchi, toh wo patthar wala kissa yaad karke main mann hi mann muskurane lagi. Mujhe uska wo pagal-pan, wo bachpana kahin na kahin pasand aane laga tha. Meri rooh ko tab tak andaza nahi tha ki jis pagal-pan par aaj main muskura rahi hoon, wahi aage chalkar mere rone ki wajah banega. Ab mujhe intezar tha... apne teesre (3rd) exam ka.
Aur
Chapter 2: Gussa, Nakhre aur Mask ke Peeche ka Chehra
"Teesra exam... aur ab mere dil mein bhi halchal hone lagi thi. Main dekhna chahti thi ki wo mask ke peeche dikhta kaisa hai. Maine apne ek dost ko bheja jo uske block mein baithta tha, aur usse kaha—'Bol usse ki zara apna mask utaare, dekhun toh sahi.'
Lekin Ashish bhi kam nahi tha. Usne seedha jawab bheja, 'Usko bolo khud aakar bole, tabhi utaarunga.'
Jab mere dost ne mujhe ye baat batayi, toh mujhe ek pal ke liye gussa aaya. Par asli gussa toh tab aaya jab usne kisi ladki ke haath ek aur message bhijwaya: 'Usko bol zyada bhaav na khaaye, bohot nakhre dikha rahi hai.'
Main wahan khadi soch rahi thi—is par gussa karun ya hasu? Ek taraf uska ye rawaiya mujhe chubh raha tha, aur dusri taraf wahi 'attitude' mujhe uski taraf kheench raha tha. Shayad wahi wo pal tha jab maine maan liya tha ki main use pasand karne lagi hoon. Wo 'bhaav khana' aur uska wo 'akad'... sab kuch mujhe ek khel lag raha tha.
Phir
Ignore Karne Ka Khel
"Doosre exam tak jo ladka mere peeche pagal tha, teesre exam mein nakhre dikha raha tha, wahi ladka chauthe (4th) exam tak aate-aate badal gaya.
Main 4th exam ke liye center pahunchi, meri nazrein wahi opposite class ke block ko dhoond rahi thin jahan Ashish baithta tha. Mujhe laga wo phir wahi khada hoga, mujhe dekh raha hoga, ya shayad phir koi nayi harqat karega. Par nahi... wo bilkul chup-chaap baitha tha. Usne ek baar bhi meri taraf nahi dekha.
Wo mujhe ignore kar raha tha.
Main hairan thi. Wahi ladka jo road par dhoop mein khada rehta tha sirf mujhe window se dekhne ke liye, aaj wahi mere saamne hokar bhi anjaan ban raha tha. Maine uska wait kiya, socha shayad wo dekhega, shayad koi ishara karega... par kuch nahi hua.
Uska ye ignore karna mujhe andar hi andar disturb karne laga. Mujhe samajha nahi aa raha tha ki ye uska koi naya 'plan' hai ya sach mein usne dhyan hata liya hai. Par sach toh ye tha ki uski is khamoshi ne mere dil mein aur bechaini bhar di thi. Barbad ho gayi hoon main, kyunki us din uske ignore karne ne mujhe ye mehsoos kara diya ki ab main use khona nahi chahti thi.....
Aise waise ignore pyar dono Mai confusion rehke mera 5 th exam bhi gaya
Ab bari ati hai akri exam ki
Aakhri Imtihan aur Woh Kagaz ka Tukda
6th class ka aakhri exam... Yeh sirf saal ka aakhri paper nahi tha, balki mere liye ek agni-pariksha thi. Poore school mein hamare charche aag ki tarah phail chuke the. Kya hamare school ke bacche, kya unke school ke—sabki nazrein bas hum dono par hi tiki thi.
Jab hum exam dene pahuche, toh dilon ki dhadkan saaf sunayi de rahi thi. Humne ek-doosre ko dekha, par lab khamosh rahe. Shayad woh khamoshi hi sab kuch keh rahi thi.
The Climax at the Gate
Jaise hi exam khatam hua, school gate par doston ka ek mela laga tha. Main apne doston ke saath line mein sabse peeche thi, dheere-dheere apni bus ki taraf badh raha thi.Tabhi meri nazar us par padi. Maine ek chota sa ishara kiya—ek aisa ishara jisme darr bhi tha aur umeed bhi.
Usne mera ishara samjha aur mera picha karte hue bus tak aa gaya. Lekin kahani mein twist tab aaya jab usne woh number khud dene ke bajaye hamare ek school ke dost ke haath bheja. Woh ladka! Usne toh jaise poori bus mein dindora peet diya. Usne mera number aise laya jaise koi medal ho, aur poori bus ke saamne mujhe pakda diya.
The Bus Ride of Memories
Mere haath mein ab woh choti si chitti thi—mera sabse bada khazana. Maine use bahut hifaazat se apni jeb mein rakh liya. Jaise hi usne peeche mudkar dekha aur bus aage badhi, poori bus mein shor mach gaya.
Sab chidha rahe the, sab has rahe the. Par hadd toh tab ho gayi jab hamare favourite sports sir, jo us din bus mein hi the, unhone bhi maze lena shuru kar diya.
"Kyun, aaj toh badi khush lag raha hai?Sir ne aankh marte hue kaha.
Main sharam se laal ho chuki tha, par dil hi dil mein ek sukoon tha. Woh chitti mere paas thi, aur woh ehsaas mere dil mein.