Hermes was climbing down carefully and slowly. He found tiny edges to find purchase in with his fingers and toes. His fingers tightened around an uneven stone Hermes lifted his right foot and tried to find the next edge or crevice to grip with his toes.
Then his foot found something solid.
A narrow ledge jutted out of the wall, forming a small recess just large enough for him to stand on. He carefully transferred his weight onto it, wincing as his cramped fingers finally loosened their grip.
"Haaah~" Hermes let out an audible sigh. He wasn't good with heights and this was a scary ordeal for him but he understood that it had to be done.
Should I just summon my echo and have it bring me down? He thought to himself. Surely there's no one watching the wall 24/7 right? He looked around but didn't see anything resembling a human.
No damn it!
You can't be sure that nobody is watching you. Even if they're not, a gaint building sized death noodle climbing down a wall is surely to attract attention from both humans and monsters. Good luck keeping your life and echo then.
Ughh…
Hermes was regretting not taking Master Jet's advice by not taking the Wilderness Survival course. He was pretty sure the Wilderness Survival course had rock climbing classes as well. He was stupid and truly on his high horse. He was climbing very slowly because of his inexperience. By the time he reached the bottom it would be evening!
I'm sorry for ever doubting you Master Jet.
He wondered what the Cohort was doing at this moment. Had they already found each other? He hoped they were all doing alright. He didn't want any butterfly effect to happen and cause any of them harm. If they got hurt or worse just because of his selfishness he would never forgive himself.
He felt guilty befriending them because at first he only saw them for what he had known them for. Characters from a fictional story that he had read. But they weren't just that, they were real people with real desires and motivations. They all had a purpose in their life that drove them every day.
Compared to them he was nothing. Even though he had transmigrated to one of his favourite novels, with an overpowered aspect and abilities at that. He was still the same loser that he was in his past life.
He was lost. He was just going with the motions, because it was a strange reality to just accept after all. He didn't know what to do with his life. That hadn't changed. Sure he had the basic goal of getting stronger and becoming at the very least a saint but so what?
Would that make him feel accomplished? Would he feel complete? He didn't know.
Nephis had her revenge which she had accomplished. Cassie was already planning the future or would soon begin. He hoped he was included in the plans in a manner that was beneficial to him. Sunless… well he was surviving and becoming stronger but even he had his convictions later on. Of course he was the main protagonist as well.
In the later chapters he truly had achieved a life that one could say was fulfilling and enviable. He had found true love…
Did Hermes want love? Of course he did. He was certain deep down everyone wanted to be loved.
But what even was love? Hermes didn't know. After all he had never felt love from someone nor had he ever felt love for someone. He was a stranger to love and felt that he was incapable of ever feeling or producing it.
Even if somehow he did end up loving someone, would they feel the same way towards him? Yes he had all these magical powers but deep down he was still the same person he was in his past life. Powers didn't give you a personality. They didn't make you…worthy of love.
Even if someone loved you because of your powers and how powerful you are, then they didn't truly love you but they loved the idea of you. It was superficial and Hermes hated being superficial. He didn't like lying and pretending but that didn't mean he wouldn't lie and pretend if he needed to. He was just a greedy, superficial and a hypocritical man.
And… he was tainted with filth. Even his soul. He was what he hated. He was a fake human.
Perhaps that is why he couldn't love. Because he wasn't human. He didn't deserve to be loved.
Would he really be alone in this life as well? He didn't like it. Why couldn't he be different? Why couldn't he be like everyone else?
He realised how truly alone he was at that very moment.
Heh… He was such a hypocrite. He remembered when he denounced god. When he truly understood what heaven was, the place he had wanted to reach his whole life! It was no different than getting lobotomised or getting high. In heaven you had no free will, you would only feel happy. You couldn't sin in heaven no matter what. You couldn't be… you.
Perhaps that was something that many would consider a good thing but to Hermes who valued his individual self, that was simply betraying oneself. If he had a button that would erase all his pain, suffering and all memories associated with them, he wouldn't press it.
Because his pain and suffering were him. They made him who he was, they gave meaning to his life. Because that meant he was…something… something that was alive.
What am I even thinking about? I'm not a masochist damn it.
Alright I think I've had enough rest. I need to reach the Bright Castle before nightfall. I can do this.
Hermes began his descent again. As soon as he lifted his right foot to feel any foothold to find purchase in, the ledge he was standing on broke away beneath him.
Hermes was falling to his death.