"We continue our path to Washington."
As soon as Cú Chulainn retreated, the Southern army poured westward in an unstoppable flood. Hurriedly preparing for the journey, Ritsuka and his companions climbed back into the magical carriage, which had miraculously survived the chaos and was still operational.
"Are you coming with us too, Arjuna?"
Having completed preparations for departure, Nightingale turned to Arjuna, who stood frozen in the middle of the battlefield, as if in a trance.
Arjuna had been unable to put an end to his confrontation with Karna, whom he considered his fated rival. He, who had always strived for justice, supported the righteous cause, and rejected lies, had gone against his own convictions by joining the Celts, but ultimately did not achieve a duel. Now, he was consumed by guilt and disappointment.
"Hey."
Hearing a voice, Arjuna weakly raised his head.
Deadpool, contorted in a grimace, punched him in the jaw without a word. The blow was so powerful that Arjuna not only fell but, after tumbling several times, was sent flying a considerable distance.
"Mister Pool! What are you doing? Arjuna may be an enemy, but he was unarmed. Besides…"
"Shielder, don't 'shield' me, keep it down!"
MASH tried to protest Deadpool's treachery, but he didn't even flinch at her complaints.
"Kill me instead," Arjuna mumbled, lying on the ground. "Why should I live if I couldn't even finish our duel?"
Deadpool, apparently disgusted by the sight, grabbed him by the collar and yanked him to his feet. Then he hit him again.
"A-a… This is a technique called 'Corrective Strike.' A couple of these and your head clears up, your thoughts fall into place, and you achieve spiritual enlightenment. If you're lucky, you might even become a Newtype."
Instead of wasting time on persuasion or appeals to come to his senses, he simply commented on his own hook and walked away. But in Arjuna's empty eyes, after these words, a spark of life finally flickered.
"Why did you hit him?" Ritsuka asked when Deadpool jumped into the carriage.
"Shh. This is a spoiler. Consider it an important omen, so remember it well."
He explained in riddles, as usual. Nightingale wanted to get to the bottom of it, but there was no time left – she floored the gas, and the magical carriage sped towards Washington at full speed.
"Forward. Forward. Celtic army. Destroy."
Through the fierce resistance of the Celts, the mechanized corps of the Southerners carved their way with fire. The front line slowly shifted westward, but due to the enemy's numerical superiority, literally burying them with corpses, the pace of the offensive remained low.
At this moment, far to the east, amidst the wastelands, a cloud of dust appeared, rapidly approaching the front lines.
"Order adjustment. Order adjustment. Escort Southern Servants. Deploying. Cover Southern Servants. Requesting protection protocol. Confirmed."
The mechanized soldiers, having updated their program, parted like the Red Sea, opening the way for Ritsuka's speeding carriage, and reformed into a combat formation for fire support.
"Le-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-t's go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!"
As Ritsuka's group crossed the front line at incredible speed for a carriage, the Celts rushed to intercept, but the mechanized legions and Southerners opened a barrage of fire, creating a protective curtain to let them pass.
"Sir Knight! I mean… Madam Nurse! I see a huge dragon ahead!"
Their path was blocked by a colossal dragon, whose appearance suspiciously resembled the one they had seen in Orléans.
"Is that… Fafnir?"
"No. Most likely, just a copy of the original."
"Faf-what?" Deadpool asked.
While Ritsuka, MASH, and Deadpool argued, the dragon let out a deafening roar. This noise woke Saber Alter, who had been peacefully sleeping with her arms crossed.
"How noisy. To interrupt my sleep… is akin to death."
With fury in her eyes, she leaped onto the hood of the magical carriage. Despite Nightingale driving extremely aggressively and at breakneck speed, Saber stood unmoving.
"Se… Saber?" Ritsuka, bouncing over the bumps, stared at her with wide eyes, realizing she was about to fight this monster.
Her sword, Excalibur Morgan, began to rapidly accumulate dark magical energy, causing violent gusts of wind around it.
"Bow before the tyrant dragon, insignificant serpent!"
"The Sword of Promised Victory…"
"Excalibur Morgan!"
A black beam, released from Saber Alter's blade, instantly consumed the giant dragon, incinerating it to the last bone. Saber indifferently turned, with a short movement shook off invisible dust from her sword, and returned to her place to continue her sleep.
"Dragon Pen-dragon defeated a dragon? Oh, excellent pun! I should write that down for future use… Ow!"
Deadpool had already prepared to elaborate on the linguistic puns, but Saber, who seemed to be asleep, gently but firmly struck him on the head with the flat of her blade.
"The path is clear! I'm pushing it to the limit!"
"Heh. Now that's what I call our nurse," Deadpool grinned.
Under the strained roar of the engine, Ritsuka's carriage flew west, overtaking the advancing Southern units. They cut through the enemy lines, Celts and monsters trying to block their path, but the Servants easily swept them aside.
And so, after long trials, they reached Washington, where Queen Medb and the mad king Cú Chulainn awaited them.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived in Washington. Washington, D.C. Local time is twelve twenty-five PM. Thank you for using the 'Deadpool Express' services. Please check your tickets and holy quartz before disembarking. We wish you a successful gacha!" Deadpool proclaimed.
Putting on an imaginary guide's uniform, he suddenly noticed a building that shouldn't have existed this year.
"Wasn't the White House built yet?"
The snow-white stone structure was unmistakably identified as the center of American politics and the president's residence.
"It looks kind of… sinister," Ritsuka remarked. He also knew what the White House should look like, and this one was clearly different from the original.
"A design full of malicious intent… This isn't the White House, it's some kind of House of Evil."
Statues of evil dragons sat enthroned on the majestic white columns, and a colossal Gáe Bolg was stuck in the ground before the main entrance.
"Oh, finally we meet. Servants of America?"
The main doors swung open, and a beautiful woman in a pink fur cloak, with a smug smile playing on her lips, appeared before them.
"Senpai, this Servant…"
"Yes. Queen Medb."
Medb waved a short whip, summoning a huge detachment of Celtic warriors to her banner.
"To penetrate so deep into enemy territory without any support… You are bolder than you seem. But do you really think you can stop me? Especially when my dear Ku-chan is with me?"
As soon as she finished speaking, Cú Chulainn appeared – his burns had completely healed, and he looked as if he had never left the battlefield. The first to react to his appearance, of course, was Deadpool.
"Ha-ha! Just look at him! Ran away to hide under a woman's skirt? Pathetic. And this is called Berserker?"
Cú Chulainn merely snorted contemptuously at the provocation.
"Whatever. You'll die here anyway. Nothing can change that. I'll just devour you and tear you to shreds."
Still the same insufferable type.
"Ku-chan, they're so annoying. I want you to finish them all…" Queen Medb cooed, nuzzling up to Cú Chulainn and lowering her voice to an intimate whisper. From the outside, they looked like a couple burning with passion and desire to ■■■■■ each other, but judging by their words, they were a couple driven mad by bloodlust.
"Oh, it seems a word was just censored…"
"Yeah. Nah. It's bad for your health to hear words like that, kids."
Deadpool solicitously covered Ritsuka's and MASH's ears.
Cú Chulainn remained completely impassive, not reacting to Medb's flirtations, as she repeatedly struck seductive poses and playfully ran her fingers over her body.
"I was going to finish them even without your words. Especially that red Servant – I'll nail him personally."
Baring his shark-like teeth, Cú Chulainn ordered the Celtic army to retreat and leaped onto the lawn in front of the White House.
"Whoever is brave – step forward. With one or two at once – it makes no difference to me."
Deadpool, accepting the challenge, rushed forward and drew his swords.
"Finally, I can punch a tunnel through your ass that I didn't finish last time. 'Said it, did it,' that's me! So watch your back."
Following Deadpool, Nightingale stood up.
"I'm starting the operation too. This patient is sick. Severely sick. Perhaps he himself is the virus or a cancerous tumor. But nothing is impossible for me. Even if the opponent is a Berserker consumed by madness. The source of the disease will be amputated!"
Saber Alter, succumbing to the general mood, also stepped out against Cú Chulainn.
"Cú Chulainn… A familiar name, and yet foreign. There must have been some connection between that weak me and the former you. However, I don't care. Just die. Mad King."
A smirk was frozen on her pale face, and a thirst for blood and an indomitable fighting spirit swirled around her body.
"Senpai! I too…" MASH voiced.
"Ah-ah, no. You guard the brat. If three Servants are already in the vanguard, the others wait in reserve. Those are the rules of this game."
Deadpool stopped MASH. She didn't quite understand what "rules of the game" he meant, but reasoning that if they all died together, there would be no one to protect the Master, she decided to obey.
"So, let's see… So, our Servants… The first move is ours anyway… Uh… Saber Alter just used her Noble Phantasm, so her NP is zero. Nightingale is a guest Servant, also zero… Hmm… If I had known, I would have invited Merlin or Waver as friends."
Before the decisive battle, on which the fate of humanity depended, Deadpool suddenly pulled out his smartphone and became lost in thought, muttering incomprehensible terms.
"Alright, we'll break through somehow. It's not a real game anyway."
Raising his swords again, Deadpool was the first to break the oppressive silence that hung between them.
"Haya-i-ya-o-i!" he shouted.
A powerful downward slash. Due to the overly wide swing, Cú Chulainn easily blocked it with his spear.
"Sterilization!"
Taking advantage of the moment, Nightingale swiftly ducked under the enemy's arm, trying to slash his stomach, but Cú Chulainn intercepted her thrust with his free hand. Now that both Servants were locked onto his arms, he was defenseless.
"Prepare yourself!" Saber Alter lunged forward, aiming her blade at Cú Chulainn's neck.
"Did you think I could only move my hands and feet?" Cú Chulainn grinned predatorily and used his tail, which had seemed like mere decoration until then. The tail whipped sideways, deflecting the sword strike.
"Is that all? I'm disappointed."
Tensing his entire body, Cú Chulainn threw the three Servants away. Instantly regrouping, he leaped and threw his cursed spear at the defenseless Deadpool in mid-air.
"Ouch!"
Deadpool crossed his swords, miraculously saving his heart, but the spear pierced his side. Losing his balance, he fell to the ground like a sack.
Pulling the spear from the ground, Cú Chulainn lunged at Nightingale, spinning the shaft. She ducked, avoiding the blow, but Cú Chulainn calculated this maneuver and drove his fist into her stomach.
"Kha!" Nightingale spat blood from the powerful blow to her internal organs.
"Ha-a-ap!"
Leaving the defeated nurse behind, Cú Chulainn dodged Saber Alter's attack from a low stance. Immediately after, he sharply recoiled and unleashed a barrage of swift thrusting attacks at her.
However, Saber Alter, being a top-class Servant, skillfully parried every thrust.
"You're better than you look! But not for long!"
Cú Chulainn soared high into the sky. He intercepted the magical spear, assuming a throwing pose.
"Piercing… Rending…"
"Gáe… Bolg…"
"…!"
Just as he was about to release the spear, Deadpool suddenly appeared behind him and grabbed him by the back with a death grip. But Cú Chulainn, ignoring the hindrance, began to swing again.
"Not happening!" Nightingale grabbed Cú Chulainn by the tail and slammed him into the ground with all her might. Deadpool, without loosening his grip, flew down with him.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch! It's all cool, of course… But why me against the asphalt?!"
"If it hurts – make an appointment. I'll heal you. But I'll send the bill to you."
Cú Chulainn, slightly staggering, got up. This was their chance.
"Hey, big sister! I see your Phantasm can also strike. How about amputating both of us along with this guy?"
Nightingale's eyes gleamed fanatically.
"Take this, spearman! Pride of America! Gas-operated, rotating bolt, length two thousand seventy-three millimeters, caliber forty-four Magnum! Desert Fire Predator – 'Desert Eagle'!!"
Issuing a long and completely unnecessary description, Deadpool opened fire with his pistols. But thanks to "Arrow Defense," Cú Chulainn simply deflected the bullets one by one.
"Idiot. Forgot that projectile weapons are useless against me?" Cú Chulainn said with a smirk, looking at this reckless assault. He thrust his spear forward. Deadpool, as if on purpose, impaled himself on it and continued to advance. The long tip pierced his stomach, tearing his insides; Deadpool coughed up blood, but didn't stop until he was close to the enemy.
"And why? It'll only hurt you more."
"Why? Because I want to give you my whole heart! Want me to bring wedding rings too? Kh-ha!"
Bleeding, Deadpool deliberately spat a clot of blood directly into Cú Chulainn's face. He, as in their first encounter, merely bared his teeth in disgust at such futile resistance.
"It's enough for me to twist the spear slightly for you to howl."
"A-a-a-a! Hey! Listen! Damn it! Stop twisting, you freak!"
While Deadpool writhed in pain, he suddenly hugged Cú Chulainn tightly.
"What are you doing? Decided to confess your love at the last moment?"
"Yeah. Let's get married! And become a wedding cake together!"
"What?"
Only upon hearing this whisper did Cú Chulainn realize he had fallen into a trap.
"We will eradicate all that is poisonous, all that is harmful!"
"Nightingale… Pledge!"
A huge cross in the hands of a colossal phantom nurse, summoned by Nightingale, crashed down directly on Cú Chulainn and Deadpool.