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The Mightiest Idler in History

YuanQi缘起
14
chs / week
The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 14 chs / week.
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Synopsis
Others pursue immortality to reach enlightenment and live forever, but Wei Qi pursues it simply to enjoy himself. This is a casual, feel-good wish-fulfillment tale.
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1: Choosing a Technique

Spring had arrived, bringing with it a refreshing crispness in the air. Flowers bloomed vibrantly, painting the world in hues of color. It was the perfect time for a nap. A tanned little boy was sprawled on a stone bench, watching TV. His eyes were half-closed, his mouth slightly open in a doze, a thin line of drool threatening to escape the corner of his lips. Just as he was about to drift off into a deep sleep, a flying chamber pot suddenly zipped through the air, followed closely by a handsome young man.

"Wake up, Brother Wei!" the young man shouted. "Senior Brother Shui just sent a message. He says we all have to gather at the Dharma Pavilion! We're supposed to choose our cultivation techniques before the big competition starts. He mentioned that a lot of cultivators from other sects will be there, so we absolutely cannot embarrass our own sect!"

The little boy raised a chubby hand and gave a lazy stretch, then rubbed his eyes. "Shui is such a troublemaker. So noisy. Let him handle it himself. I just want to sleep." He grumbled, then rolled over on the stone bench, completely ignoring the chamber pot that was still spinning anxiously above his head.

Inside, Wei Fan was already fast asleep on his bed, snoring loudly, a river of drool flowing from his mouth.

"If you don't get up, Brother Wei, I'm really going to tell Senior Brother Shui! He said if you don't show up, he'll make your life miserable, you little brat!" The chamber pot's eyes narrowed into a sly squint. It wagged its tail, flexed its tiny claws, and let out a menacing rumble.

The boy on the bench just chuckled. He hopped down lazily, sauntered over to the bed, and patted Wei Fan's cheek. "Hey, get up. I'm telling you, if you don't go, Shui will beat you black and blue." He knew this threat was useless. Wei Fan, stubborn as a mule, would never comply if forced. So, he just shook his head and left the room.

Back at the Dharma Pavilion, the area was already crowded with disciples. The oldest among them was around nineteen or twenty, the youngest just eleven. The dark-skinned boy who had been on the bench was also there, about that age. Standing before them all was a man in his twenties, dressed in spotless white robes. He was strikingly handsome, with thick eyebrows and bright eyes – clearly not an ordinary person. His posture was perfect, radiating an aura of someone with immense power, yet his presence felt distant, like he wasn't truly a part of this world.

"Today, you will choose your cultivation technique here at the Dharma Pavilion," the man announced. "This is a fair opportunity for all disciples of the Brotherhood of Heavenly Sects. Each of you may select the technique that most appeals to you; there is no coercion. Once you have chosen, you may return to your quarters and begin your cultivation." After speaking, he turned and walked away, disappearing into the crowd as if he had never been there.

The disciples buzzed with excitement, discussing their options. Some favored techniques focused on speed, others on power. They each picked according to their own preferences, a matter of personal destiny.

"The Stellar Archery Technique and the Golden Sword Art are far too difficult to learn. They've been lost for ages. Even our sect doesn't possess them anymore. Only the great sects might have fragments left." a voice whispered.

"The Dragon Subduing Art... that's a technique only the Dragon Taming Clan can practice. Hmm... well then, I'll just pick this Demon-Slaying Art. It focuses on direct combat and killing." The dark-skinned boy, who had been listening intently, suddenly had a thought. Brother Wei... it seems he doesn't have a technique yet. If he goes without one, he'll definitely fall behind the others. But he would never accept charity. Everyone knows he hates appearing weak. He always says: 'I'm your little brother, so only I get to bully you. Who else?'. Now I have to find a way to help him, just this once. Having made up his mind, he slipped away from the crowd and approached the man in white.

The man looked down at him, a slight frown creasing his brow. "What is it? Haven't you chosen a technique? Or do you have a question?"

The boy shook his head. "It's not that, Senior. It's just... I was wondering if I could choose the Sleeping Technique?" he asked innocently. "Is that allowed?"

The man's frown deepened. "Impudent boy! Don't cause trouble. Go away and stop bothering others. If you truly have no interest in cultivation, then go home and sleep. Do not waste your time on useless pursuits." He sighed, then cast a glance towards Wei Fan's quarters. "What a waste of latent talent. I need to think of a way to set him straight." Muttering to himself, he departed.