"Every time a man gives way to a particularly stupid impulse,
it is usually from the noblest motives."
Oscar Wilde
"Wrong answer, Devourer!" I hissed, already turning to charge into battle. At that moment, I had no idea how it would end or if I'd even make it back, but one thing I was sure of: I wouldn't surrender or leave without a fight.
As soon as I turned my head, something like a whip, like a slap, struck my face and knocked me back. In an instant, I went blind. It was as if some thick, incomprehensible slime had poured into my eyes, blocking my vision. Leaning hard against the wall I'd crashed into, I tried to stand.
Once I was up, managing to keep my balance somewhat and gripping my kunai tightly, I started fending off tentacles coming at me from all sides like shadows, all while trying to wipe the gunk from my face that had sealed my eyes shut. These tentacles weren't sharp or soft: I only noted their eerie cold and flexibility. I didn't even want to know what they were.
"Useless..." I heard that same repulsive voice from my subconscious, and in the next second, something grabbed my neck hard and lifted me up. The kunai fell from my hand, and I started trying to free myself from the writhing tentacle. But all my attempts were futile. "We... w-will devour you..."
As soon as I realized I was about to be devoured by something, I started panicking openly. My concentration shattered. One thought filled my head: "I'm alone here. No one will ever find me. No one will even hear my voice. No one will come to help me."
Countless slimy tentacles began wrapping around my entire body, immobilizing and burning it. No matter how hard I tried to escape or how many clones I created, I couldn't. Substitution didn't work here, and shunshin, no matter how many times I tried, failed.
"Let go, you bastard!" I cried out desperately, but instead, countless cold limbs bound my arms and pulled me toward it. "It's over," flashed through my mind as I felt its cold breath; something in my chest froze in terror, as if the whole world had stopped for me in anticipation. Time stretched treacherously, forcing me to live this moment longer. And then I remembered. "Dismiss!" I formed the seal, dispelling the clone that had been gathering natural chakra all this time.
Strength filled my body for a second, and I began tearing at those incomprehensible "tentacles." After ripping the last one, I fell and immediately bolted away. But I didn't get far.
I froze in place from fear.
Along with the strength, the sensory abilities had transferred to me...
"Better if they hadn't..." I swallowed a lump of fear. Before me were hordes of Devourers about to swarm into this corridor from all sides. I took two small steps back, then half-turned.
I was trapped...
"Did you really think we'd let you go?" something squeaked disgustingly in a thin voice nearby. My knees started shaking. I had no strength left to defend myself. I just wanted to rest. From the battles, from the deaths, from them. I wanted to lie down and just sleep. But the voice nearby wouldn't stop; from all sides, I heard one phrase: "We'll find you and eat you. We'll find you and eat you." I spun around searching for the source, but found nothing. The voice came from everywhere.
"Rikudo... you promised..." flashed through my head as I felt clawed hands grab me. This time, they squeezed my neck with force and slammed me painfully against the wall, holding me in the air. Hitting the back of my head against the wall, I felt pain not just there. There was some other sensation I'd never felt before. My empty lungs, newly relearning to breathe, were constricting. I was breathing again. But at such a bad time! And yet I knew what was coming. It would be just like last time! "You promised I wouldn't meet them again!"
"Useless..."
"Please, not this," I tried to free myself in panic while my arms were immobilized too, just like my head. Breathing was hard. "God, please," my own voice sounded so foreign, hoarse, squeaky. My ears rang from lack of oxygen, and amid the ringing, I heard their multiple whispers and giggles. "Just look at her," one drawled sarcastically, "Tries to save everyone," another repulsive voice continued, "But can't even save herself." Then they burst into laughter like hyenas barking. I froze in anticipation, unable to do anything. In every fraction of a second I hung there, I braced for the pain. Braced for them tearing me to pieces. There were so many of them, nothing would be left of me. Not even a speck.
The sounds grew louder: they were closing in. I clenched my jaw tighter and tensed. My heart pounded so wildly I could feel and hear it: every beat echoed through my chest, painfully. Probably the last time I'd hear my heart beating.
"No, don't," I croaked desperately aloud and felt a Devourer approach and stand in front of me. "Please..." The ringing, laughter, and whispers grew so loud I couldn't hear my own words. The darkness before my eyes began filling with incomprehensible patterns rapidly changing shape, like when you squeeze your eyes shut hard or lose consciousness. Hot trails ran down my cheeks. My head felt like it would explode. "Not..."
In the next instant, my arms were freed, and I reflexively grabbed the limb on my neck with them, trying to pull myself up and ease the strangling, to breathe. But my fingers kept slipping off the wet, sticky, emaciated—so emaciated it was amazing it could hold me—appendage. I tried digging in with my nails, but the slippery, half-rotted flesh wouldn't yield.
Suddenly, the pressure in my head dropped sharply, causing a flash of acute pain; oxygen scorched my lungs, nearly tearing my throat. I felt the floor with my cottony, disobedient feet. The sounds faded, leaving only quiet, whistling, drawn-out breathing close to my face.
The long fingers no longer squeezed my neck but merely held it. I greedily inhaled air, expecting to be deprived of it again any second. With slime-covered palms, I tried to grab the wall and not fall. The thin icy fingers slowly slipped off, scratching noticeably close to my carotid artery on the way. My left hand immediately covered my neck.
I'd long stopped resisting, waiting for the next attack. My breathing had nearly evened out. Only my body continued shaking uncontrollably.
My right hand, my main support, slipped on the slime-slick wall, and the moment I croaked and braced for hitting the floor, something warm caught me, like an embrace. And at that moment, all my sensory abilities vanished.
"No, not this," panicking that the monsters had grabbed me again, I tried to break free. I don't want to be devoured by them. I don't want to die. "Enough!" I cried, feeling my breathing falter again and my heart leap.
"Calm down," Minato's pleasant voice sounded nearby, and I realized the Devourers wanted to deceive me again. They wanted to mislead me once more!
"No!" I'd already drawn my last shuriken, ready to fight to the end. And if they devoured me anyway, only when I had no strength left to fight. I was preparing for the final battle, but the next phrase stunned me:
"It's over, Ari... They're not here, they've gone," sounded softly nearby, and without stopping my resistance, I managed to open my eyes. The slime was gone from them, and I saw I was sitting on the floor of some light-yellow undefined space. And next to me, calming me, sat Minato. I didn't understand what had happened. Maybe I'd died or this was a hallucination, but it didn't matter anymore. Because now came the peace I'd wanted so badly. That moment of rest I'd dreamed of. Now I could just rest. And maybe the Devourers really were tearing me apart right now. And this was just hallucinations... Whatever!
I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed closer to Minato, trying to steady my breathing. I was shaking from fingertips to knees. Shaking like I was outside in minus thirty. I tried to stop, but couldn't. Memory replayed those monstrous moments again and again like bitter poison; I recalled their phrases.
I clutched Namikaze's cloak tighter, realizing everything Rikudo had told me was a lie! He'd promised I wouldn't meet them! He'd said... But it turns out they'd find and devour me anyway someday. And no one would help or save me, no one would hear.
"Ari, don't cry..." the Hokage whispered in the silence, and I felt a warm hand on my cheek. He wiped my tears and hugged me tightly, soothing me further like a child.
"I-I'm scared..." I gave a hoarse voice, sobbing and breathing heavily. "What did I do wrong? Why me? What bad thing did I do?"
"I... I don't know."
"Is it just because I exist?" flashed through my head as my breathing steadied and the shaking stopped. I'd calmed down... decided to accept it. "Just because I am..."
"Ari, don't be afraid," he encouraged with a smile, and I, taking a deep breath in and out, wiped my tears. "You're stronger than them."
Stronger? I didn't remember a single moment of confidence facing them. Only icy panic hidden under positive phrases. Like a coward. If no one had saved me every time, I wouldn't be here. In the end: facing them, I can't stand up for myself. So where exactly am I stronger?
I clenched my fists and jaw tightly. Years of training. From morning till night. And still weak.
"Stop whining," I told myself firmly, standing with Minato. "They'll hunt me my whole remaining life... I just have to accept it."
"Knowing this, you can prepare and defeat them," the Hokage smiled slightly.
"That's still up in the air. Can I? But..." Taking a deep breath, I realized the Hokage believed in me more than I did. "Thank you, Minato-sama," I bowed my head. "If not for you..."
"Don't worry... and... you can use 'you' with me here," he offered unexpectedly, and I, a bit confused, was stunned.
"What?" I asked in surprise, disbelieving. "But... you're Lord Hokage."
"Right now, I'm just an ordinary person; there's no chakra here," he smiled casually, and checking, I indeed found no chakra in myself. Wow, it felt strange and inconvenient, like being "naked and defenseless" without chakra. "So..."
"Minato-sama, can you first tell me how you know my nickname? Only my best friends know that. Did Naruto tell you?" I asked the question that had long intrigued me.
"No, not Naruto; I heard it somewhere," Minato answered mysteriously, and I puzzled over who else could have said it. "But don't dwell on it. It's not that important, right? Or do you not want me to call you that?"
"No, go ahead... call me," I said cautiously. "And how did you, uh, you save me?"
"I just ended up in the same space as you, and then saw you walking with someone who looked like me..."
"So you were just watching me get... but didn't intervene?" hurt stabbed me, but at the same time, I understood he was probably waiting for the right moment. "And why didn't I sense you?"
"I used a technique my friend—a very strong shinobi—taught me. When I need to, no shinobi can detect my chakra or presence, but alas, it didn't affect the Devourers, so I dealt with them then and didn't see anything."
"Ah, got it. That's cool. W-will you tell me about it when we get out?" I smiled a little, finally calming down and anticipating a new technique I wanted to learn. I hadn't added to my arsenal in a while.
"Probably not..." he lowered his gaze, and I remembered the Devourer's words in Minato's guise.
"You're dead?.." I said fearfully, holding my breath for his answer.
"Not now, but I definitely won't wake from the coma," he replied thoughtfully and sat on the floor, indicating we weren't rushing anywhere.
"Why? Who did it? Was he too strong?" I bombarded him with questions, sitting behind him. The mere thought of the Village without a leader terrified me, and Naruto... without a father...
"No, I defeated the enemy," the Hokage smiled sadly and continued. "I was just allotted that much time, and it ran out."
"A...." I wanted to ask but hesitated. I didn't know how to handle such cases. I hadn't expected it. My gaze couldn't settle, and I lowered my head as assumptions flooded my mind.
"Ari," Minato placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Why that much time? How do you know?" I genuinely didn't understand. Why was he so sure he'd die?!
"Just watch," he rolled up his sleeve to the elbow, and I saw something like a tattoo on his arm, but it glowed faintly green. And most unexpectedly, it wasn't a simple design but the number "5."
"W-what is that?" I stammered, hoping my assumption was wrong.
"Days. This seal is visible only to me and a few others in the normal world. I've had it for twelve years. Someone placed it on me when we made a deal," he explained, and I instantly had a question: "Who?" But I decided not to voice it, realizing it was too much.
"But it's not certain, right? Can you rely on some numbers? There's a chance you won't die?" I objected sharply, feeling clear pain and pity in my heart. I shifted my gaze from Minato's arm to him and back. I denied it. Though we weren't close, I didn't want this.
"No," he shook his head and tensed. "My best friend who was with me that day had the exact same seal, just with less time. And... you know," he lowered his gaze, breathing heavily, and I leaned forward to hear, "I... I believed he'd survive until the last second; I believed in that man more than myself. But..." He suddenly fell silent, and I looked away, whispering "Condolences." I'd have been curious about who the friend was, what the seal was, but I didn't want to touch the topic anymore. "Things don't always go as we want. Unfortunately."
"Minato, so I'm in a coma too now?" I asked carefully, changing to a calmer topic. "I noticed we're outside our bodies. In my subconscious, I have scars, but not here," I looked again at my beautiful hands, unmarred by scars and burns.
"Yes, both are correct. But I'm sure you'll get out and everything will be fine," he smiled slightly, and I remembered my friends. Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi... I missed them so much. I wanted to see them again.
"But it's not certain; I might not get out," I lowered my gaze. "I risk myself too often and barely escape, and by the law of large numbers, despite eternal luck, sooner or later what I'm seeking will find me. Even the smallest probability realizes with multiple tries. And I... I don't know what to do about it," I shook my head. My life wasn't that important, but I still threw it away carelessly, like I had a spare in the closet.
"Ari, then don't risk so much. Be careful," Minato smiled easily.
"That's easy in theory, in plans... But in practice, I have to risk for my friends to save them. I can't not risk, because I can't manage without them, but they can without me," they'd find a way to save the world without me. Naruto's faith was stronger than all my attempts.
"They can't," he shook his head. "Your life matters not just to Team 7; many couldn't manage without you—you know that perfectly," he said seriously, hinting at something, but I didn't get it.
"I don't understand. They could..."
"No, they couldn't come up with anything," he interrupted, firmly denying what I hadn't even voiced.
"If I don't risk, there'll be no one to..." I started but shut up in time.
"And if you risk too much, there'll be no one for..." You understand this with your head but still devalue yourself, your strength, your health," he placed a hand on my head, and I looked away, disagreeing. My life wasn't as important as my friends'.
"A shinobi's life is eternal risk and battles; everyone risks, it's the norm!" I said seriously, ready to defend my view. Many fight and die for their beliefs! I'm no exception.
"Shinobi don't charge recklessly! They must preserve themselves, or their shinobi career ends as quickly as it began," he snapped, tensing and furrowing his brows.
"And I don't plan to be a shinobi long! Until twenty, then work in a hospital and just manage home and household. Then I just want to start a family with my loved one and live in peace," I shared my goals and smiled widely to lighten the mood. I hoped for reciprocity, but Minato just relaxed and sagged. He sat sadly staring at one spot, like remembering something unpleasant—regret and sorrow filled his eyes.
I didn't understand what I'd said wrong to upset him so, so I just stayed silent, studying him.
He looked really young for his age, not over thirty but like twenty-eight. So young and handsome... Maybe he used the same technique as Tsunade?
And still. What did he aim to achieve telling me this? What did he regret? Maybe not saving some friend?
"No point talking about all this," his voice broke the silence. "Nothing can be fixed or changed. So, Ari, let me help you get out," standing, he looked at me resolutely.
"What? Why can't it be fixed?" I bombarded with questions, standing too. Too many questions I wanted answers to. I was tired of digging through assumptions. Tired of uncertainty!
"I could say I wasn't even given a chance, but that's a lie. I just couldn't," he said mysteriously with a note of guilt again, and I wanted to scream from frustration. Who was he talking about? What? Maybe about Kushina?
"I don't understand you, what are you talking about?" I started protesting. I didn't know who it was for. But definitely not me. Maybe he was saying it aloud to someone? Or proving to himself?
"Ari, don't dwell; you'll understand in time," he placed hands on my shoulders and knelt on one knee. "Listen carefully. Be careful with Danzou; I suspect he was complicit in the attack on the Leaf. Be even more careful with Orochimaru; he never throws words to the wind. As for the scroll, it has techniques and all info on how Naruto should live on. And about the scroll I gave you—you're its owner. Be vigilant; many hunt that scroll. Never show it to Akatsuki members, Danzou, or Orochimaru."
"Why entrust it to me? Wouldn't hiding it in some dungeon be safer?!"
"It can't lie without an owner long; eventually, it starts shrinking until it vanishes. And no one but the owner can take it. So there was an urgent need at the exams. Extreme measures!"
"Uhmm..." I blinked uncomprehendingly. "What happened then?"
Minato blinked like me for seconds, then muttered under his breath and stood.
"Our time's up; don't be sad, please take care of Naruto. Make sure he eats well, looks after the house, doesn't get upset. And not ramen every day. Have him read books and scrolls. Learn new techniques and tell Kakashi not to mope," he smiled softly.
"Wait!" I grabbed his cloak, fearing he'd leave forever. "What do I do next?" I asked, unsure how to handle this info.
"Just pass it on to everyone and live calmly," he shrugged, starting to form seals.
"Wait, there's no chakra here," my first thought flashed, followed by the second. "Will I remember everything?"
"I don't need chakra, and you'll remember it all," he replied, and only a moment later I realized he'd answered my thoughts! But it was too late; finishing the sequence, he placed a hand on my head. "Ari, forgive me, and thank you for everything."
"Minato!" was all I managed before sinking into sleep. And the last thing I heard:
"The world is a pendulum. Remember that."
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan