For a long time, I wondered what the most terrifying thing in this world could
be. Eventually, I found my answer:
To me, the most terrifying thing definitely would be being forgotten forever by the world.
Some nameless monk from a forgotten era might call oblivion a blessing.To me, such words are worthless. My eyes fail to see any blessings in being erased by the world so completely that it makes you question whether you were ever born at all
I always used to shiver at the thought that people will forget me as soon as I die. That everything will continue as it always had.That the World would remain utterly indifferent to my absence.
As if I had never existed.
This thought of mine had kept me awake countless night.Those nights were painfully long and the silence was too suffocating,so heavy that I could hear my own thoughts groaning beneath it's weight.
But that was all in the past.
My fear of being forgotten by the world ran so bone deep that, gradually,I began forgetting the world instead.
It would be not exaggeration to say that:
I donot remember most of my life.
At some point, I even forgot the very fear that once terrified me.
Despite living alongside this cruel monster called forgetfulness, which savagely devoured my most cherished memories without mercy, there is a one thing that I remember with absolute clarity.
It's all began near the end of my tenth grade.
That event altered the way my life was progressing and made me who I am today.
If only I had not been avoided.
If Only I had not been forgotten.
If only,on that fateful day I had been a character instead of a spectator.
perhaps I wouldn't be writing this monogatari of mine.