The next day I woke up like nothing happened last night.
For a second, I forgot where I was. The ceiling above me wasn't mine. It didn't have the small crack shaped like a lightning bolt near the fan. The air didn't smell like my room either. It smelled… warm. Like soap and something fried.
Then it hit me. It's that man's room.
"What time is it? I need to go back now" As I mumbled looking for my phone.
I can't find him anywhere, where could he be? And I saw right next to the bed; there's a small note he wrote.
"hey, if you woke up, the food on the table is yours, please eat it"
I look at the table and chuckle. He did bring me food. where could he go now? Oh, probably work.
Well, I'm not really hungry, but it will be rude to not eat it, right?
I take my first bite, but then… someone barge in
"Ahh!!" I spilled the food… I was quite surprised with the loud door banging
It was him, he looks in a hurry, He ran in dripping wet, hair sticking to his forehead, water sliding down his collarbone. I didn't mean to stare.
I really didn't.
But I did.
Just because I'd never seen someone move around their own space so comfortably.
"OMG, I'm super late, my boss gonna kill me.. aaghhh!!" he said that while laughing.
"Oh, I'm sorry, it must be because of me, right.." I felt really bad, I took a lot of his time.
"Oh noo,, chill dude.. not a problem to me… my boss loves me, I was just exaggerating, but still I'm late now.. but,,," He paused for a while "Could you turn around, I'm quite shy if someone watching me while I'm changing."
I turned around quickly, I was quite embarrassed. He must saw me staring at him.
"Hey, thank you. I'm Matthias, btw" I said that just to break the awkwardness.
"Nice to meet you, Matthias.. I'm Julian,, okay I'm done, also you can continue to eat.. I'm gonna head out now.. Oh, and here's the key, if you're heading out too.. give this to Mami, you remember her, right? She'll always watching TV, you'll meet her" He replied in quite a rush.
"Oh, sure" I nodded. He's quite chatty, I wasn't aware last night and I smiled.
The noodles were still slightly warm, the steam barely visible in the morning light. I sat on the edge of his bed and took a bite.
I'm in awe. this simple noodle, is so delicious. It's unbelievable, is this the taste of noodle I usually eat?
It was just noodles. Probably instant. But why it tasted different.
Maybe because the warmth he gave me.
I ended up eating all up, did he make it? This felt so warm. But wait,,, where should I put this plate!!!
Right, I remember a kitchen downstair, I'll just go down and put it there.
But, he took care of me, I should have at least do something about it.
I don't know what to do, this feels strange. Okay, I'm just gonna wash it and leave it in the shelf, and done.
After that, I'm looking for that woman to give back his key, but I can't find her in her usual place.
But I saw her outside in the small garden, she's watering the flowers, while still smoking.
The smoke curled around her like it belonged there. The garden was tiny, uneven, but the flowers looked alive. Taken care of.
As I walk slowly towards her.
"Julian's friend, going home now?" She asked without looking at me
"Yes Ma'am…"
"Shush,," she shuts me, "don't call me ma'am, call me mami, okay, everyone here on the block calls me Mami, you should too" I nodded awkwardly.
"Yes,,, Mami" it feels so tense, but I need to ask where to go "Ma'am, I mean, Mami, could you point the way to the nearest bus stop"
She then told me which way to the bus stop, I gave her Julian's key and walked away without looking back. OMG, that lady, is terrifying, I laughed thinking about her.
As I sit in the bus, I noticed the city looked softer from the bus window. Morning light hit the buildings differently, like everything was pretending to be gentle.
People walked with coffee in their hands. Some laughed. Some looked tired.
I wondered if they all had somewhere safe to go home to.
I felt The heaviness in my chest didn't disappear. It just stopped screaming and started whispering.
I kept thinking about his room, I keep thinking about his room. The unmade bed. The faint smell of soap. The note on the table written in messy handwriting.
It all felt… normal.
Can I have that normal life?
So, finally, I'm home, but it feels heavy to knock. I just stood there for a while.
I stood in front of the door longer than I should have.
The paint was slightly chipped near the handle. I traced it with my eyes.
If I didn't knock, I didn't have to go back in.
If I didn't go back in, maybe I could pretend last night was real life.
Then, suddenly someone open the door.
"Andrew!! OMG, I was so worried, where have you been!? Why are you just home now. come on in" My mom greets me, the one that I don't want to see right now.
"And, don't you feel bad for me, I was so anxious, I thought something bad happen" she keeps on talking.
I'm so tired, I don't want to hear her nag right now.
"I'm okay mom, I fell asleep when I'm doing my project with friend. You know, like I said yesterday. I'm really sorry" I responded without even looking at her.
"Next time you should have told me, okay?" She keeps nagging
"You know I can't, my phone's broken, I couldn't tell you" I said that, obviously a lie, but she still believes it.
"You could have contact me through your friend's phone, right" her nag still going.
I saw my father sitting in the dining room, Ugh, the second person I don't want to see
My father didn't look at me at first.
He just kept eating.
The clink of his spoon against the plate felt louder than it should have.
Then he sniffed once.
"Where have you been?"
"Why are you coming home reeks of alcohol!" He said that, calmly. It's terrifying
"I was at my friend's house doing project!! OMG dad, I'm not drinking, I swear" I was quite shocked with the accusation
"Don't you dare talk back at me, go to your room, get rid of that smell!!" He said with a temper.
Mom then added, "OMG Andrew, are you lying to me now.. don't you know it's a sin, And. Go to your room, okay"
I hurriedly go upstairs, to my room, without saying anything. Then I lock the door.
I sat on the floor, back against the door.
I pressed my face into my sleeve again.
Just as I thought.
Nothing.
No alcohol.
No smoke.
Just nothing.
He didn't smell anything.
He just needed a reason.