Spring is the season of love.
Many writers and overly sentimental literature kids love to tie the sight of cherry blossoms blooming in early spring—petals drifting softly through the air—to the sweet awkwardness of first love. They use those pale pink sakura petals as a symbol of the budding, unspeakable feelings between boys and girls.
For Narumi Tōru, however, this was honestly hard to understand.
Petals had never been any kind of omen of love—because when you get right down to it, flowers are just the reproductive organs of angiosperms. Their biological function is nothing more than the fusion of male and female cells to produce seeds.
"Flowers are a plant's reproductive organs—or basically their butts. Which means floral fragrance is plant fart smell, and nectar and pollen are plant excretions. Linking romantic feelings to plant mating phenomena is nothing but self-indulgent emotional projection humans slapped onto it."
Inside the Volunteer Service Club room, the curly-haired young man declared this with absolute confidence, under the complicated gazes of the other two.
"I even wrote this exact paragraph into a novel. The submission sank without a trace."
"Thank God the editor still has standards. There's no way that kind of take would fly in a novel."
Hikigaya Hachiman muttered this instinctively, though the emotion in his dead-fish eyes directed at Narumi carried a trace of agreement.
"Not everyone can accept reality. Talking hard facts when people are chasing romance is something rational minds rarely process well."
"At the end of the day, you showed off knowledge in the wrong place. Getting no results is perfectly normal."
Yukinoshita Yukino didn't care in the slightest—she even wore an expression that clearly said 'No wonder you crashed and burned.'
"Popular fiction has practically turned into fragmented, fast-paced, disposable entertainment. No one wants to be lectured while trying to have fun. That's human nature, and that's reality. If you can't grasp that, senpai, it's only natural your novels don't sell."
"Uh… do you always talk this straight?"
Hikigaya turned his head toward Yukinoshita, his expression tinged with awkward discomfort.
Even Hikigaya Hachiman—who's bad at socializing and hates it—knew there were times when you shouldn't be that blunt.
"You could've just said his writing sucks and readers aren't buying it."
Hikigaya's idea of "tact" was just another flavor of directness.
"I'm simply stating the truth. If they can't accept reality, that's something they need to reconcile with their fragile mental state. That's not my problem."
"But, you know, there's also that kind of situation."
Even after being mercilessly called out by Yukinoshita, Narumi looked completely unfazed. There was no embarrassment—he simply went with the flow and proposed a new hypothesis.
"Like knowing full well that my writing is terrible, but being unable to improve my literary skill. You know the answer, but you can't solve the problem—or rather, you don't have the ability to solve it."
The black-haired girl, who had been calm up until now, paused mid-motion as she lifted her teacup. The Yukinoshita who had been firing back effortlessly fell silent.
"...…"
Bingo.
Miss Yukinoshita Yukino—what kind of unspoken burden are you hiding?
But now wasn't the time to reveal that secret. Better to wait a little longer.
The curly-haired young man smiled faintly, resting his cheek in his palm as he turned his gaze toward the clubroom door.
Through the small transparent window, a vaguely visible lump of pink could be seen swaying back and forth.
"Well then, looks like we have a guest. Please, come in?"
"Eek!"
Only after he spoke did the pink lump outside visibly jolt, followed by a small yelp from a girl.
After a short while, the visitor shyly pushed the door open.
"Y—Yahallo~! Um, I'm Yuigahama Yui from Class 2-F!"
The pink-haired girl had her hair tied into an energetic-looking dango bun. Like Hikigaya and Yukinoshita, she wore a high school uniform—but she'd added some flashy personal tweaks: the skirt adjusted at the waist and hem, a few buttons undone at the collar, giving her a relaxed, cheerful vibe.
Her gaze swept over the three people present, and her friendly expression gradually shifted.
"Huh? Why is there a handsome guy from another school here—ah, Hikki's here too!"
"So Narumi's a 'handsome guy' and I'm just an 'also'? And what's with 'Hikki (shut-in)'? You bitch."
"I-I-I'm not a bitch! I—I mean, I'm still—!"
"Thank you both for providing such a wonderfully friendly demonstration of a first meeting."
Narumi rose with a smile, pulled out a chair for the guest, and gave Yuigahama a polite little bow.
"Please, have a seat, Yuigahama-san. I'm Narumi Tōru, assistant of the Volunteer Service Club, and currently a university student. We're not the same age, but let's drop the stiff senpai–kōhai formalities."
"O-Okay… Narumi-senpai!"
The pink-haired girl sat down obediently, only belatedly realizing that his sudden interruption had been to save her.
"Is this… the charm of a reliable adult man…?!"
"'Reliable' I'm not feeling, but silver-tongued definitely fits."
Yukinoshita Yukino, still true to her habit of dropping verbal grenades, sipped her tea as she commented.
"Don't get swept away by his handsome, charming exterior, Yuigahama-san. He's only good with words."
"Thank you for the compliment. Being good with words is still being good."
Narumi calmly served the freshly brewed tea, utterly unfazed by Yukino's sharp critique.
"Ah, um… that probably won't happen…"
As she shook her head in denial, the pink-haired girl cast a subtle glance toward the dead-fish-eyed boy sitting in the corner, who clearly wasn't looking pleased.
"Enough of that. State your request."
Still irritated by the 'shut-in' remark, Hikigaya Hachiman cut straight to the point despite the displeasure written all over his face.
"Um, well… I want to make cookies by hand for someone who's kind of special to me…"
"Someone you like?"
Narumi tilted his head and fired a straight punch at the flustered Yuigahama.
"N-No, no, that's not it at all…! Um, it's not that serious yet!"
So… is that a denial or a confirmation? Ms. Yuigahama's guilty darting glances—constantly landing on Hikigaya Hachiman—gave us the answer.
"I just want to thank someone who helped me…! Yes, express my gratitude!"
"This request is easy. We'll take it."
Yukinoshita Yukino closed her book, wearing the confident air of a battle-hardened bounty hunter.
"In short, all we need to do is teach you how to make cookies, right?"
"Umm—"
Seeing Yukinoshita stand up as if she were about to head somewhere, Narumi felt a sudden sense of unease.
He remembered something from high school, back when he'd visited the Yukinoshita household as Haruno's boyfriend.
The younger sister had joined her onee-san in cooking—and the final dish they served sent him spending the entire day alternating between vomiting and diarrhea in the Yukinoshita family bathroom.
Something that could be marketed as an industrial-strength emetic… could it really serve as a teaching demonstration?