[Plan Objective]: To prompt Professor Gilderoy Lockhart to "voluntarily" request a leave of absence for at least one week.
[Core Principle]: Concealed, safe, effective, and with no direct connection to Lynn himself.
Step One: Potion Preparation
Content: Brew a potent "Gastrointestinal Disorder Potion" (commonly known as a Laxative Potion) and attach a "trivial" persistent curse.
Core Requirement: The effects must be stable and long-lasting, preferably lasting about a week, to ensure he cannot teach properly.
Source of Confidence: Great confidence in his own potion-making skills.
The [Potions Favor] ability allows him to instinctively perform optimal improvements, ensuring the potion is fierce and concealed; the [Immortal Curse] can attach hard-to-dispel negative effects to the potion.
He was absolutely certain that even if Snape himself intervened, breaking the curse would take some effort.
Step Two: Messenger and Delivery
Content:
Use Transfiguration to temporarily transform an ordinary object into an owl lifelike enough to pass for real.
The owl goes to the Hogsmeade Owl Post Office, paying a fee in the name of a "Professor Lockhart superfan" to have the post office's other owls deliver a "special" letter to Lockhart.
Concealment Measure: The letter's content is written by a Self-Writing Quill to ensure the handwriting cannot be traced.
The sender's information is just made up; the Owl Post Office handles a large volume of mail daily and won't look into it deeply.
Step Three: Trigger and Consequences
Content: Lockhart receives the letter and opens it. The potion and curse attached to the envelope's seal or the letter paper take effect.
Expected Result: Professor Lockhart is forced to ask Dumbledore for leave due to "sudden and persistent gastrointestinal discomfort," making him unable to teach for at least a week.
The Defense Against the Dark Arts class will be temporarily covered by another professor—the quality of teaching will surely be significantly improved!
Plan Evaluation: Clear logic, concealed methods, significant results. Perfect!
"Plan successful!" Lynn snapped his fingers with satisfaction.
Without delay, he immediately climbed into his Undetectable Extension trunk and arrived at the fully functional internal alchemy workshop and potion laboratory.
Lynn walked to a dedicated potion workstation, lit the cauldron, and began to precisely weigh the materials:
Powdered scurvygrass roots, fermented Bubotuber pus, a bit of sneezewort... his technique was skilled, his movements flowing like water.
Before long, the liquid in the cauldron gradually turned into a murky yellow, bubbling with tiny bubbles and emitting an indescribable smell.
Finally, he extended his wand and whispered the incantation for the curse, as a faint, imperceptible black light merged into the potion.
The [Immortal Curse] took effect, ensuring the potion's effects would follow like a shadow, making them impossible to shake off.
Looking at the finished potion in the cauldron, glowing with an eerie light, Lynn smiled happily.
"Professor Lockhart, a 'deeply affectionate greeting' from a 'fanatical book fan.' Please... enjoy it thoroughly."
Noon the next day, the Hogwarts Great Hall was bustling with noise. Sunlight streamed through the high windows, and the air was filled with the aroma of food and the pleasant chatter of students.
At lunchtime, the four house tables were piled high with delicious food, and the professors at the high table were also dining quietly.
Professor Lockhart was wearing an exceptionally dazzling yellow robe today, sitting at the high table elegantly cutting a piece of lamb chop and occasionally looking up to cast what he thought were charming smiles at the hall.
Lynn and his roommates sat at the Hufflepuff table, also leisurely enjoying their lunch.
While gnawing on a roasted chicken leg, Lynn absentmindedly listened to Edgar complaining about the requirements for the Potions Class essay.
Suddenly, the sound of flapping wings was heard as an owl flew into the Great Hall. It seemed to have a clear target, heading straight for the high table.
Lynn's sharp eyes immediately locked onto the letter the owl was carrying in its beak—the envelope was a glittery light purple, the very one he had meticulously "processed" two days ago!
Lynn's heart skipped a beat, and he instantly dropped the chicken leg, the leisurely expression on his face vanishing.
"Stop eating! Quick, everyone stop eating!" Lynn whispered urgently, nudging Edgar next to him with his elbow and signaling to William and Ollie with his eyes.
"What's wrong?" Edgar asked indistinctly, his mouth still stuffed with bread.
"What happened?" William asked, pushing up his glasses in confusion.
Ollie silently put down the pumpkin juice he had just picked up.
Lynn didn't have time to explain. He just stared intently at the high table, gesturing for them to look over.
Though Edgar and the others were confused, seeing Lynn's serious expression, they instinctively followed suit and put down their food.
Fortunately, the potion had been applied to the inside of the envelope and the folds of the letter paper. If it had been smeared on the outside, the owl might have... well, Lynn secretly congratulated himself on the thoroughness of his plan.
At the same time, he was a bit surprised. Was the Owl Post Office this efficient now? Delivered in just two days?
It seemed the mobile phone business had indeed significantly impacted traditional owl mail. Were they really this idle now?
By now, the owl had landed precisely on the dining table in front of Lockhart.
Lockhart was stunned for a moment, then an even more brilliant smile broke out on his face. He loved receiving fan mail, especially in public!
He elegantly untied the letter and waved at the owl. The owl gave him a look of disdain and flew away.
Lockhart stood up and intentionally said loudly:
"Oh! Look at this. 'To the greatest and most charming Professor Gilderoy Lockhart'... Haha, from an enthusiastic admirer! This is truly... so touching!"
He began to ramble on with a bunch of vacuous and self-indulgent words, enjoying the gazes cast from all around.
Under the expectant and curious gazes of some of the wizards below, Lockhart finally slowly tore open the envelope's seal and took out the faintly scented letter paper.
He cleared his throat and began to read aloud with great emotion the mushy words of praise that Lynn himself had felt cringey writing:
"Dear Professor Lockhart, your smile is like the dawn light breaking through the darkness, your deeds are like..."
He had just read the beginning when his voice suddenly halted.
His face turned from ruddy to a strange hue at a visible rate, and a layer of fine cold sweat instantly broke out on his forehead.
Gurgle, gurgle~~~
An unusually loud stomach growl abruptly came from Lockhart's abdomen, echoing clearly in the suddenly quiet Great Hall.
Lockhart's expression froze. He tried to maintain his smile, but it became extremely distorted.
He instinctively clenched his legs together, his body leaning slightly forward.
Squelch—Pfft!!!
A long, loud sound of escaping gas, accompanied by an unspeakable wet, muffled noise, suddenly erupted from beneath him!
It even caused the back hem of his yellow robe to billow slightly from the impact!
Immediately following was an even denser, more uncontrollable—
Splatter, crackle~ Boom! Bang! Thud!
The sound was so loud and the effect so intense that it instantly drowned out all the noise in the Great Hall!
An indescribable stench, a mixture of rotting food and internal fermentation, began to spread rapidly from the high table!
Students nearby had already horrifiedly covered their noses and mouths, while the other professors at the high table showed expressions of shock, disgust, and extreme endurance.
Professor McGonagall's face was ashen, and the corners of Professor Snape's mouth were twitching violently, as if he were desperately suppressing something.
Amidst the remaining indecent sounds and the spreading stench, a voice full of condemnation and "righteousness" erupted from the Hufflepuff table:
"Professor Lockhart! In public, under everyone's watchful eyes, how can you behave like this! It is truly a disgrace to decency! What a scandal!"
Lynn covered his nose with one hand and pointed at the high table with the other, his face filled with "distress" and "disbelief."
"Stop pooping already!!!"
After shouting that earth-shattering sentence, Lynn didn't dare stay for another second—not because he feared retaliation, but because the smell was simply too overwhelming!
He grabbed his already dumbfounded roommates and bolted out of the Great Hall doors in a flash.
It's too smelly!
As he ran, Lynn wailed in his heart, "What on earth did he eat this morning?!"
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