In an Ork warband, Mekboyz are always the busiest caste whenever a war looms. They must calibrate every war machine and strap on various lethal weapons—intended to rain destruction upon the heads of the enemy—to their contraptions.
Kenmyo Isayama was currently mounting a massive "U-Die Cannon" onto a carriage that appeared to be made of countless scrap steel plates mashed together. It was designed to hold two Orks: one gunner capable of providing a 360-degree sweep of fire, and one driver.
[You have completed the production of a new weapon. War Contribution +1,000]
[Please name it, or name it after the host: Gul'dan's Chariot]
Kenmyo clicked "No" and named the thing [Greenskin Happy Wagon].
Truthfully, Kenmyo's luck was quite good this time. Gaining the identity of a Big Mek was far superior to being an ordinary Ork boy. If he were a common soldier, his upper limit would likely be charging forward with a roar of "WAAAGH!!!" and blowing himself up along with the Tyranids, taking a few with him if he were lucky.
But being a technical specialist allowed for much more strategic play. Every time Kenmyo created a new toy for the Ork warband, he earned [War Contribution]. The function of this resource was simple and crude: it increased his final evaluation score. Furthermore, in the future, whenever Ork boys used the machinery he designed to commit acts of slaughter, Kenmyo would receive a "kickback" of points.
He wasn't sure of the exact percentage, but given the sheer number of Orks, this point-farming scheme was bound to be a goldmine.
The potential of this second simulation identity was incredibly high, definitely one of the top-tier roles within a [D-Rank Simulation]. It made his previous late-night, life-threatening shifts to earn points feel well worth it.
Kenmyo thought to himself: I need to design a few more insane weapons. He had even churned out "Grot Missiles"—missiles packed with explosives that used a Gretchin as a pilot to ensure a 100% hit rate, accurately delivering the warhead into the enemy's face.
The "Greenskin Happy Wagon" was only his first prototype. Once he personally finished the design, his subordinate Mekboyz could replicate it by the thousands. Kenmyo had a vast number of Meks under his command, capable of turning scrap metal and junk into war machines at terrifying speeds.
Beside every newly built wagon stood four or five Grots. One would be wobbling around with a paint bucket, while the others dipped brushes into red paint, coating the chassis and adding the Orks' characteristic flamboyant, over-the-top graffiti.
"Duh 'Umies don't fink red makes ya go faster? Bunch of gits! Dey don't know nuffin'! Red makes everyfing zoggin' good and zoggin' fast! Red is da best!"
This was the universal belief of the Ork boys. They believed that painting a vehicle red made it go faster, and under the influence of the WAAAGH! field, this became a physical reality. Red vehicles on the battlefield actually drove faster than non-red ones.
Kenmyo's subordinate Meks were numerous; even after assigning many to the various ships in Ghazghkull's fleet, he still had a surplus. He directed some of them to work on his personal project: an Ork Gargant meant to rival the Imperium's Reaver Titans—the "Stompa Class." (Orks are as casual with naming as they are with building.)
Resources were the only limiting factor; otherwise, Kenmyo would have loved to build a "Mega-Gargant" to rival an Emperor-class Titan. If only he could have scavenged the shards of that Emperor-class Titan that had self-destructed back on Armageddon, taking countless Orks with it.
The Gargant Kenmyo was building stood twenty-five meters tall and weighed hundreds of tons. He layered plate after plate of scrap-iron armor, then stuffed it with "Big Shootas" and melee weapons. Once on the battlefield, it would simply follow its "big footsteps," crushing everything in its path—perfectly adhering to the Orks' "Big is Best" aesthetic of violence.
Looking at the hull, which already exuded a murderous battlefield aura even without its weapons, Kenmyo nodded in satisfaction.
"Slap da [Mega-Choppa] on 'ere for me..."
Kenmyo exercised his authority as the Chief Big Mek, directing the Mekboyz and their Grot assistants to assemble the Gargant. Using a crane, they attached a massive chainsaw—resembling a giant meat grinder—to the Gargant's arm. When a machine of this scale swings such a weapon, it is nothing short of an apocalypse for their enemies; a single strike can mince an entire platoon of infantry or saw through a super-heavy vehicle in seconds.
"And don't forget dem Super-Rokkets and Zzap Cannons."
Kenmyo pointed at the weapons he had salvaged from various junk piles and refabricated. After giving his orders, he turned and left the hangar. Standing outside the door were two fully armed, elite Ork "Big 'Uns," the bodyguards assigned to him by Ghazghkull.
Warp travel was a dangerous journey. The raging storms and turbulence of the Warp could often blow demons directly into the Ork fleet, as their ships weren't airtight. The Ork boys actually considered this a "gift from the gods"—a bit of seasoning for a boring journey—and would swarm the demons to give them a proper beating. However, when they encountered powerful demons, it was game over; an entire ship of Greenskins could be slaughtered, turning the vessel into a ghost ship.
Thus, Ghazghkull had assigned two bruisers to Kenmyo. Losing a "Big Mek" would be far too costly. Seeing Gul'dan emerge, the two loyal meatheads stepped forward.
"Where's da fing I wanted?"
"Boss, it's right 'ere."
One of the big Orks scratched his head and lifted something he had been dragging on the ground to show Kenmyo.
"Uh..."
Kenmyo was momentarily speechless. Hanging from the bodyguard's hand was a green creature that had been beaten within an inch of its life.
"I said capture one, I didn't say pummel it to death."
"But we was finkin', Boss—wot if dis Weirdboy went mad and 'urt ya?"
Kenmyo had ordered them to fetch a Weirdboy, a specialized Ork unit that was both highly dangerous and capable of spectacular feats on the battlefield. They wielded psychic power, but unlike other races, their power didn't come from the Warp; it came from the collective WAAAGH! field generated by Orks gathering together.
Earlier at the feast, Kenmyo had been curious after seeing Ghazghkull use Weirdboyz to release green psychic lightning to liven up the atmosphere. He wanted to study this unique psychic existence. The bodyguards had indeed caught one, but they had "physically sedated" the poor fellow first.
Because Weirdboyz have simple intellects, they often can't control the energy they unconsciously absorb from other Orks. If they can't discharge the accumulated power fast enough, an "Eadbang" occurs. Literally, their heads explode, and the psychic overflow is so great it often pops the heads of nearby Orks as well.
"Fine, saved me the trouble of a physical anesthetic."
Kenmyo ordered the guards to resume their watch at the door. The power arms on his back nimbly lifted the Weirdboy and carried him into a prepared room. Inside was a workbench surrounded by scalpels, saws, and various anatomical tools. At this moment, he wasn't a Big Mek, but a scholar curious about Ork biology.
"Now, let the research begin."
After an unknown amount of time, Kenmyo—splattered with green blood—suddenly felt the ship lurch violently. He knew what that meant: the ship had exited the Warp.
They had arrived at the front line of the war between Orks and Tyranids: the Octarius System.