Chapter 7 — How Outrageous!!!
"Big Sis Bofu—help me!"
"Ah—sorry, Chiya! I just thought of the newest ratio for my cactus-fruit special! I'm going to test it right now!"
"Auntie Rola—help me!"
"Ah, well—ugh! Bolit! Yes, you, get over here! You youngsters—always speeding! By the time the cargo arrives, the boxes are crushed flat! I'm going to give you a proper scolding!"
"Sister Kasa—help me!"
"…Um…"
Watching, helplessly, as all the people he'd ever helped just so happened to have "urgent business" at this exact moment, a despairing Chiya had no choice but to turn his pleading gaze toward the last pillar of Wildfire Town—
its mayor: the gentle yet unbreakable Ms. Kasa.
But now, the very mayor who once swore she would "help Chiya unconditionally" had eyes that drifted like tumbleweeds. Her feet edged sideways, inch by inch, and her gloved fingers fidgeted—rubbing against each other without meaning to.
She wanted to help.
She really did.
But…
"Kasa—uh, sis," someone said smoothly, "Dorian's been wanting to talk with you lately. Don't you want to go see him?"
"O-oh, is that so…" Kasa's voice wavered. "Sorry, Chiya. I'll come back later."
Before she turned to leave, she shot Burnice a stern look and said in a serious tone:
"But, Burnice—don't go too far. Doctor Chiya isn't gasoline. Don't burn him dry."
"Hehe. Don't worry!"
And just like that, the last person who could've saved Chiya sighed—and walked away.
As the space around them emptied out, Burnice's hand slid down along his leg. Then, with a single clean heave, she tossed Chiya up into the air and caught him neatly in her arms as he fell—like it was the easiest thing in the world.
"Hehe—Chiya-chan, let's go inside!!!"
"Burnice! You liar!"
"Hmph! You're the liar, Chiya! You said you'd come to the Outer Ring more often—how many days has it been?!"
"Didn't I come just last week?!"
"And you still remember?! It's been a whole week!"
"Anyway—you fake-doctor!" Burnice huffed, voice full of righteous indignation. "Leaving your patients in the Outer Ring to suffer heartbreak all alone… I'm going to correct you—properly—so you learn your lesson!"
Like a magician, she produced a handful of crushed ice from her chest area and dumped it straight down Chiya's collar.
"Waaah! So cold! Burnice—what are you doing?!"
"Chiya-chan, you know how it is." Burnice smiled sweetly. "I'm the Sons of Calydon's drink mixer."
Still holding him, she carried Chiya toward the hulking vehicle parked nearby—Big Fang—and spoke in a syrupy, dangerously gentle voice, as if honey itself were flowing between the words.
"When you mix drinks, ice matters. A lot."
"Without the ultimate cold, you can't bring out the ultimate flame."
"Chiya-chan… I could have endured it… but…"
"Without you—even if I craft the most perfect fuel drink, even if I keep up the dignity that makes Lucy say 'Hmph! Like I'm jealous!'…"
"…none of it means anything."
Chiya felt the ice—guided by Burnice's fingers—slither across his skin like a tiny snake, tracing damp, winding paths.
Her voice dropped lower.
Her embrace tightened.
In a daze, Chiya suddenly felt like the thing holding him wasn't Burnice at all—
but a hungry lioness.
But in desperate straits, there's always a last route of escape!
Chiya's sharp eyes spotted the final person who might save him.
"Piper! Save me—please!!"
"Oh dear," Piper muttered lazily, "when you get older, your ears really do go bad…"
Even though Chiya was certain he was shouting loudly enough to pierce Big Fang's windows—Piper, who hadn't even closed them, simply grumbled, pulled the newspaper over her face…
…and a moment later, soft snoring drifted out.
Sorry, Chiya.
Me, I've already been bought off by Burnice.
Yeah. Next time. Next time I definitely won't "sell you out" again.
"PIPER!!! Next time you ask me for herbal patches, I absolutely—absolutely won't make them for you again—mmph!"
"Kitten, don't be naughty~"
"Ah… this feeling of fire and ice blending together—so addictive…"
As the voices receded—footsteps stopping behind Big Fang, then fading away—Piper, guilty as sin, repeated an apology in her head for what must've been the hundredth time.
Then she calmly shut the window, slipped down off the vehicle, and pulled the door tight.
But the moment she landed, two people—who were supposed to be "passed out drunk"—appeared in front of her.
Caesar wasn't wearing sunglasses, so her mouth—big enough to fit three "Crimson Mokkus" at once—hung wide open.
Lighter was wearing sunglasses, but the way his hand trembled as he adjusted them, and the way his eyebrows kept creeping upward, made his shock obvious.
The three of them stared at each other in silence—six eyes meeting, wide and dumbfounded.
Finally, Lighter spoke.
"Piper. Why didn't you stop Burnice?"
"Uh… Burnice promised she'd mix Big Fang an even bigger, even punchier fuel formula, so…"
"…Wait. That's not the point."
"Aren't you two supposed to be drunk?"
"Uh…"
Now it was Lighter and Caesar's turn to exchange an awkward glance.
After a pause, Caesar scratched the back of her head and said, embarrassed:
"Well, you know, Piper… Every time Doctor Chiya comes by, he practically has to jab me with a needle."
"And you know… needles are despicable. Every time, I end up all fired up and worked into a frenzy."
"…The boss," Lighter said, "was bribed because Burnice promised she'd convince Chiya to stop his 'numbing therapy.'"
"As for me…"
Lighter stroked his chin, and a grin slipped out on its own.
"I just thought it would be funny."
"You, I, and Caesar—we all know Doctor Chiya only gets sharp-tongued during his free clinics because we Outer Ring idiots never take care of ourselves."
"But seeing the doctor who always calls us 'small-fry Caesar,' 'small-fry Lighter,' 'small-fry Burnice'…"
"…receive a tiny little lesson of his own."
"Cough. Forgive me."
"I truly couldn't resist that temptation."
"But I thought you would stop her, Piper."
"You didn't do anything besides provide Big Fang."
"Uh… things happen," Piper said weakly.
Caesar cut in, raising a hand.
"Shouldn't we notify Lucy?"
"If she finds out Burnice has been making moves on Doctor Chiya…"
"She'll blow her top!"
"…Why'd you two go quiet?" Caesar asked.
"No," Lighter said smoothly, "I'm just surprised the boss used an idiom correctly."
"But you're right."
"Then, Caesar—go ahead."
"Eh?!" Caesar yelped.
"The leader of the Sons of Calydon must take the lead."
"I—I got it…" Caesar said, wilting.
Meanwhile…
"A-Cao, A-Mu, A-Zhuan—you three, honestly!"
"If I hadn't reacted fast, my newly bought makeup would've shattered!"
"If Chiya can't see my most perfect look later…"
"Then you all get fifty lashes!"
"Wuu… (terrified)!"
Fresh out of Lumina Square, Lucy held her new cosmetics tightly while scolding the little boars, who kept their heads down and sniffled.
But seeing them cry softened her heart. She sighed and relented.
"Fine."
"Just don't mess up again."
"But seriously… I don't know why, but my head's felt so heavy since earlier."
"Did I not rest enough?"
"Or did my hat get heavier?"
"So strange…"
"This feeling—like that time I finally got my hands on that collector's-edition Caliste shampoo I never even dare to use…"
"…and Caesar took it and smeared it on herself like she was plastering a wall—"
"Where is this coming from?!"
As Lucy muttered to herself, her phone suddenly buzzed.
She shifted the shopping bags to her other hand and looked down.
"A message from Caesar? Let's see…"
"…."
"…BURNICE."
"HOW DARE YOU!!!"
"A-Cao! A-Mu! A-Zhuan!"
"Carry these—MOVE!"
"We're going back. NOW!"
Join here to read ahead.
In Star Rail, Ultra-Beast Armored — Have I Caught "Equilibrium"? l (Chapter 36)
Uma Musume, But I Only Have Five Years Left to Live (Chapter 36) Zenless Zone Zero: I'm a Doctor, Not a Bangboo (Chapter 36)
My patreon : patreon.com/queen_sin?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink