5:00 PM—the worst part of my day. Everyone else is jumping for joy. I'm sinking into my chair. All my distractions are gone, and I'm left alone with my thoughts. As the room fills with chatter and the sounds of chairs scraping back, I let out a heavy sigh and drift into my own mind.
A little over a year out of university, and my social circle is practically nonexistent. The few friends I had have moved on to bigger and better things—new jobs, new relationships. Work isn't much different. It pays well, which I'm thankful for given where I come from, but it's not as fulfilling as I hoped it would be.
I lean back in my chair and stare up at the ceiling. Everything feels so monotonous lately. "Goodbye, Nakajima-san!" I snap back to attention as Sato-San, one of my seniors, gives me a wave. "Have a nice night," I reply, bowing slightly from my seat.
Sato-San walks away, I gather my things and join the stream of people heading for the exit. I squeeze into the elevator, managing to fit in despite the crowd. Unfortunately, with so many people packed in, there's no chance of reaching for my headphones anytime soon.
When the elevator doors opened to the lobby, I stepped out and made my way outside, finally able to grab my headphones from my bag and slip them on. So, what should I do now? Maybe a visit to the bookstore is in order—time to check out the new manga releases.
I've got plenty of downtime after work, and manga shopping has always been my favorite way to unwind. Lately, I've been spending a lot of time at manga cafes, losing myself in new stories. Fortunately, the bookstore I frequent is conveniently on my way home, making it easy to stop by.
With the sun still up, I'm grateful it's not winter anymore. It's such a mood-lifter to leave work and still have daylight. Winter was always so harsh and dark, and I'm really enjoying the warmer weather now.
The music plays in my ears, I retreat into my own little world. The bustling sounds of people around me—walking, talking, driving—fade away, and I feel isolated, as if I'm the only one here. I walk through the crowd, navigating my path, while everyone around me seems to be lost in their own lives. Some are heading home from work, some are meeting friends, and others are just trying to get by. I can't help but think about how long it's been since I've seen a friend or visited my parents. It feels like work and life have conspired to keep me distant from everything that once mattered. I have two friends, but with our schedules constantly colliding and one of them away on vacation, it's hard to find time. Visiting my parents is even more complicated, with the distance to Okinawa making it nearly impossible.
On the surface, it might look like I have a pretty good life. I graduated college, landed a well-paying job, and I'm living comfortably compared to how I grew up. But lately, that doesn't seem to matter as much. I'm constantly feeling like something's missing, and I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Maybe I'm yearning for a deeper connection with people, or perhaps I need a new sense of purpose. I don't really know anymore. I keep thinking I shouldn't be having an existential crisis right now, but these questions keep creeping in more and more.
Once Haru is back I'll make sure I get together with him and Akane, I'm sure that'll make me feel better. At least I hope. Haru should be back within the next few days I think so in the meantime maybe I'll see what Akane is up to.
My heart raced as I drew closer to the bookstore. I couldn't help but smile, my excitement growing as I thought about all the new releases waiting for me. I pulled out my phone to double-check the availability of two series I've been eyeing: a new romance series that's just launched and an action-adventure series that's been going for over a year. I'm especially excited about the romance series, as it's only on its third volume and still feels fresh to me. Plus, the author is fantastic. Looks like it's my lucky day. Both volumes are out.
I paused my music, letting my headphones rest around my neck as I stepped into the bookstore, greeted by the comforting scent of fresh books. I headed straight to the new releases table, but neither of the series I was looking for was there—probably just a space issue. They were likely on the shelves, so I made my way to the manga section to start browsing. I had some luck finding the action series right away, so now I was on the hunt for the romance series.
I walked down the aisle, scanning book by book, shelf by shelf. I didn't expect it to be so challenging, especially since I thought everything was sorted alphabetically. It turns out it's organized by genre and then alphabetically. Once I figured that out, I moved further down the shelves. I noticed someone passing by with the new volume in their hand and almost worked up the nerve to ask where they found it. But they moved too quickly, and I froze, feeling awkward and unsure of what to say.
I decided to follow the direction the person had come from, and soon spotted a small sign pointing to the romance section. As I began to browse through the manga, I sensed someone approaching, but I assumed they were just another seeker of stories. My eyes finally landed on the volume I'd been searching for. "Bingo!" I whispered to myself, reaching out eagerly. Just as my fingers were about to grasp it, I felt a gentle touch—our hands brushed against each other.
Startled, I quickly pulled back, my cheeks flushing as I stammered out an apology. When I turned to face the person beside me, my heart skipped a beat. Standing there was someone whose presence felt almost surreal.
"Haha, it's okay! I guess great minds think alike," the stranger said with a warm, charming smile. "I thought it would be on the release table, but looks like we had to go on a hunt for it."
I was completely frozen, my mind racing to find something to say, but the words just wouldn't come. All I could do was stand there, captivated by his smile and the way his eyes sparkled with genuine friendliness.
He tilted his head slightly, his expression turning to concern. "Is something wrong? I'm not making you uncomfortable, am I? Some people say I talk too much. I hope I'm not putting you off."
"N-No!" I managed to stammer out, feeling my face flush. "I was just a bit startled, but I'm fine. You didn't do anything wrong."
He let out a relieved sigh. "That's good to hear. I was worried I'd totally freaked you out." He then held out the volume I'd been reaching for. "Here, this one's for you."
I accepted it gratefully, and he grabbed another copy from the shelf. "And this one's for me."
He studied me for a moment, curiosity in his eyes. "So, where are you coming from?"
"Work," I replied.
"I see. What do you do?"
"Just at a nearby company. What about you?"
"I'm at a university nearby, so I'm around here a lot."
There was something effortlessly easy about talking to him. The conversation flowed naturally.
"How are you liking the series so far?" I asked, pointing to the volume in his hand.
His eyes lit up with excitement. "I think it's amazing! It started out as such a cute story, but the direction shifted so quickly at the end of the last volume. I don't mind, though—I think the author did an excellent job with the sudden change in tone."
I couldn't help but smile. "I agree! She's such a fantastic writer. I read her last series too."
"What? You did? Me too!"
We chatted animatedly for a while longer before heading to the cashier to pay for our books. It's been a long time since I've had an interaction like this—one that felt so effortless and genuine. It's a bit disheartening to think it's all ending. Once we leave the store, we'll probably go our separate ways, and it'll be like this moment never happened. We'll become strangers living different lives. Why does the thought of that make me feel so sad? Why do I want to keep talking to him, even though I don't even know his name? Maybe I should ask for his name. Maybe we could become friends? No, that's unlikely—who would want to hang out with me?
There I go again, doubting myself. I always end up feeling like I'm not worth anyone's time and that people would be better off without me. But whatever. I paid for my books and walked out of the store.
"Hey, wait up!" The boy called out, hurrying after me as I walked out of the store. I turned around, a bit puzzled. "What's up?" I asked, still confused.
"What's your name?" he asked with a hopeful look.
My heart skipped a beat. I was stunned that he asked the very question I'd been too shy to voice. "Nakajima… Nakajima Yuta," I managed to reply.
"Nakajima-senpai, huh?" He smiled warmly. "I'm Hoshizora Kaito. Nice to meet you."
My face flushed bright red. I turned away, feeling a bit embarrassed, and cleared my throat awkwardly to break the tension. "Y-you can drop the senpai…"
He giggled, "So Nakajima-San, would you like to grab coffee tomorrow afternoon?" he asked, his voice a mix of nervousness and excitement.
"Huh?"
"Oh, um, we don't have to if you don't want to. Sorry if that was weird of me."
"No, it's not that at all. I'm just surprised."
"So, is that a yes then?"
I could hardly believe what was happening. Was I actually making a friend? Someone wanted to hang out with me? It's not going to snow today, is it?
"Sure, yeah, I can make that work."
"Awesome! Let's exchange contact info," he said, beaming.
As we exchanged contact info, I couldn't quite believe what was happening. I'd actually made a friend today—a feat that had felt nearly impossible since graduating. Adulthood has a way of complicating friendships. Everyone is caught up in work and personal commitments. Many are in relationships that make coordinating plans even more challenging. For me, reaching out to new people often feels like a struggle. It's as if I want to speak, but my words are trapped, and I'm battling to set them free. It's a constant internal tug-of-war between wanting to connect and feeling paralyzed by shyness and anxiety. Yet, Hoshizora-Kun made it all seem so effortless.
Now that I'm really looking at him, I notice how well he carries himself. He's got a great sense of style, a cool haircut, and this genuinely welcoming vibe. His blue eyes are as expansive as the sky, and his smile is brighter than the sun. The way his eyes lit up in the store when he talked about something he liked was almost mesmerizing. Wait, what am I thinking? I caught myself mid-thought.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Hoshizora-Kun asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.
"N-no reason," I stammered, quickly turning my head away in embarrassment.
He chuckled. "I'll text you the details for where we'll meet. I'm guessing you have a 12:00 lunch break? We can meet then."
I turned back to him with a smile. "Yeah, that works," I said, my tone calm and slightly relieved.
"See ya," he said, waving goodbye as he walked away.
I continued my commute home, my mind replaying the meeting with Hoshizora over and over. A smile crept across my face, and I let out a contented sigh. Finally, something to look forward to.
Once home, I took a quick shower, changed into my pajamas, and prepared a simple meal. Then I flopped onto my bed, eager to dive into the romance series I'd picked up earlier. As I opened the book, I quickly lost myself in its pages. The main character resonates with me so much—he's undergone a transformation that I haven't. He's made friends and found love with someone who accepts him completely. Currently, he's facing a huge dilemma, but I'm deeply invested in seeing how it will be resolved. I want him to be happy, and it's clear his boyfriend brings him joy.
I finished the volume and placed it on my bedside table, my thoughts already drifting to Hoshizora-Kun. I couldn't wait to discuss it with him. Turning off the lights, I settled into bed, a sense of anticipation and contentment easing me into sleep.
The next morning, I jumped out of bed with excitement and headed to work. The commute was its usual drudge, but I didn't mind—it was all worth it because I was going to hang out with a friend today. It's amazing how a small thing like that can completely shift your mood. Even Sato-san noticed my good mood and asked if something good had happened.
As the morning dragged on, I kept glancing at the clock, eagerly awaiting my lunch break. My phone buzzed with a message from Hoshizora-kun, letting me know the meeting spot was a 15-minute bus ride away. I decided to leave a little earlier just in case.
When 11:45 a.m. finally arrived, I took my break and set off to meet him. Fortunately, there were no delays, and I arrived at the location right at 12:00 p.m. But as I looked around, I didn't see him anywhere. Doubts began to creep in: Was he running late? Has something come up? Was this all just a joke to him? I started to feel anxious, my mind spiraling with negative thoughts. I was so looking forward to hanging out with him—had I misunderstood everything? He seemed to have a lot of friends; maybe he was just being polite and didn't really mean it.
I began to overthink, letting my worries spiral out of control. My heart raced with nervousness as I tried to calm myself, reminding myself not to jump to conclusions.
"Hey! Sorry I'm late!"
I spun around to see Hoshizora-kun running toward me. Instantly, all my worries vanished, my heart slowed to a normal beat, and a smile spread across my face. "No worries."
"I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. I had to finish up something for school," he explained.
"It's okay, I understand. I actually left work a bit early to avoid any delays, so that's why I'm here."
He smiled with relief. "Good. Let's grab a table."
We walked into a cozy little café, where the inviting aroma of coffee beans and pastries filled the air. We settled into an open table at the café, and a waiter soon arrived to take our orders. Hoshizora-kun went for a Matcha latte and a sandwich, while I opted for a chai latte and a sandwich. As soon as the waiter left, he leaned forward with interest.
"So, did you read the new volume?"
With enthusiasm, I responded, "Yes! It was amazing, as always. The main character is really evolving, and that's been my favorite part of the story. I can't believe he managed to get through the dilemma they were all facing."
"I know, right? I was surprised but thrilled! It's a bit sad that it's ending with the next volume, though. It's such a short series but carries such a powerful message."
We continued discussing the volume until our orders arrived. I noticed Hoshizora-kun eyeing my chai latte with curiosity. "Curious?" I asked with a playful tone.
"A little. I didn't peg you as a chai person," he replied with a hint of sarcasm.
"I'm not much of a coffee drinker, but for some reason, I really like chai. So, whenever I go out for coffee or something, I usually get chai."
"Interesting."
"What about you? Do you always go for matcha?"
Hoshizora-kun chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you could say I'm a bit obsessed. I mix things up with a caramel latte sometimes, but matcha is my go-to." He took a sip of his drink and unwrapped his sandwich. "So, tell me about yourself, What's life like for an office worker?"
I laughed softly. "It's not all that exciting. I'm from Okinawa, but I moved to Tokyo for school. I graduated last year, so it hasn't been that long. Once I found a job, I decided to stay here permanently."
"Wow, so you're only about 23?"
"Yeah, did you think I was older?"
"No, it's just that you're not much older than me."
"How old are you?"
"I'm 21."
I wasn't too surprised, given that he's in university—he had to be around my age.
"I go to Tokyo University of Art and Design, if you couldn't tell already. I'm majoring in illustration with a focus on concept design. I also dabble in animation and 3D modeling, though that can get pretty overwhelming sometimes."
"Wow, that's impressive! I mean, you're working on stuff like manga and video games. That's way more exciting than a typical office job."
I took a bite of my sandwich and glanced at Hoshizora-kun. We both chuckled.
"It might sound great, but finding a job in this field is just as tough as in any other. I'm finishing up my third year and have one more to go. The pressure is mounting, and I'm worried about whether I'll find a job or not."
Hoshizora-kun sighed. "My parents invested a lot of money for me to go to this school because they believe in me. I don't want to let them down."
His expression turned serious, showing how deeply he cared about this. I decided to steer the conversation away from his worries.
"So, what got you into art?" I asked.
His eyes lit up with excitement, just like when we first met. They sparkled like stars in the night sky.
"Ever since I was a kid, I've loved animation. Watching animated movies and reading manga were a huge part of my childhood. The way stories connect with people and how characters resonate with readers is something I always dreamed of achieving. I want to create something that helps others. I want to make something that, when someone sees it, they can say, 'I'm just like that' and find comfort in it."
As he spoke, the passion in his eyes shone brightly, radiating a warmth I'd never seen before. It was inspiring and made me smile.
"I think you'll be just fine," I said.
He tilted his head, puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"That passion you have—it'll take you far. Don't let anyone take that away from you."
He giggled and smiled. "Yeah, I won't!"
There was something about his smile that made my heart skip a beat. It was oddly comforting.
As my face flashes red I try to avoid any awkward eye contact. I lift my arm to take a sip of my drink but in that instance my sleeve slightly falls revealing something underneath but not entirely. I quickly place my drink back on the table letting my arm rest and my sleeve revert back to its original position. I could tell Hoshizora-kun's eyes locked on to my arm at that moment, curiosity filling his eyes. He could sense me shifting in my seat, so he decided to derail the conversation in a different direction to distract from the fact he saw what was under my sleeve.
"Do you have something you're passionate about?" he asked.
It's not like I meant to hide it or anything it was more of a reflex. Tattoos aren't that acceptable in our society compared to the western world. Even though a lot more people have them and with my generation especially, it's becoming more acceptable. It still has a stigma and can cause some problems especially where I work so I try to keep it hidden most of the time.
I sighed. "Not really. I've been struggling with work and other things lately, but I don't want to bore you with my problems."
"It's okay, you can tell me," Hoshizora-kun said, his voice sincere.
I took a deep breath, bracing myself to share something personal. "Well, I went through a pretty rough breakup in December of last year. We'd been dating for a year, and I really thought she loved me. I didn't notice the signs when they started appearing." I looked down at my hands, nervously fiddling with my thumbs.
"She pretty much checked out about four months before we officially ended things. She kept saying everything was fine, but she never wanted to make plans. She said everything was okay, but she stopped saying 'I love you.'"
As I spoke, I could feel myself spiraling. "I just feel like such an idiot. It's my fault for not seeing the signs sooner."
Hoshizora-kun quickly interrupted me. "It's not your fault."
I looked up, meeting his gaze. He had a warm, sincere expression on his face, and I could tell he was serious.
"You did the best you could, so don't blame yourself. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be, no matter how hard you try."
He glanced away for a moment, then added, "I also went through a breakup. Honestly, I was relieved when it ended. I felt like myself again and found it easier to connect with new people and build new relationships. I was much happier outside of that relationship than I was within it. I know our situations are different, but try not to be too hard on yourself, okay?"
His concern was clear, and his smile gave me a fleeting sense of hope. His outlook on life felt so foreign to me, but there was something refreshing about it.
I managed a small smile, though inside I felt a heavy knot in my stomach. Why was he so optimistic? His words struck me as a bit condescending, even if he didn't mean them that way.
I decided to change the topic to lighten the mood. "Oh, I forgot to ask. Where are you from, Hoshizora-kun?"
"It's a bit of a mix—I'm from America originally, My Dad is Japanese and my mom is American, so we lived in America for a bit but came back to Japan and I've lived here in Tokyo for the past couple of years."
I nearly choked on my drink. "No wonder your parents could invest in your tuition. They must be pretty well-off."
He rubbed his neck, slightly embarrassed. "Yeah, I guess I'm lucky. I know not everyone has that kind of privilege, so I don't take it for granted."
His humility was refreshing—much better than some of the wealthy people I've met. He was an interesting person, and I enjoyed our time together.
I checked my phone and noticed the time. "Oh no, it's past 1 pm! I need to get back to work. Waiter, can we get the check, please?"
We settled the bill and headed out of the café.
"That was fun, we should definitely do this again," Hoshizora-kun said.
I looked at him, noting that he was a bit shorter up close. "I'd love to."
"How about tomorrow? We could hang out after work?"
I was surprised. "So soon?"
Hoshizora-kun's expression shifted slightly, though not dramatically. "Yeah, my semester ends soon, and I might be leaving for an internship during the summer."
I tensed up a bit, caught off guard. "I see."
"All my friends are gone, too, so I don't really have anyone to hang out with."
For some reason, his response stung a little. It felt like he was only spending time with me because he didn't have other options.
"Am I just a temporary replacement then?"
Hoshizora-kun looked alarmed. "No, not at all! Why would you think that?"
"You mentioned your friends weren't around, so I just assumed…"
Hoshizora-kun sighed and then chuckled. "Come on, do you really think I'd go through all this trouble if I didn't want to hang out with you?"
The uneasy feeling lifted. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
As he walked a few steps ahead, he turned his head and waved. "You should give yourself more credit, Senpai."
His words made my face flush red, and I quickly looked away. "I-I need to get back to work."
Hoshizora-kun waved goodbye. "I'll text you later."
As I made my way back to work, I couldn't shake the thoughts of what Hoshizora-kun had said. He might be leaving for an internship. Would we still stay in touch? Would I see him again? How far will this job take him? The uncertainty left me feeling worried and disappointed. I didn't even stop to think what he may have going on. If he leaves, what is the point in us spending time together? Why did I feel this way? Why did I want to keep seeing him?