Chapter 3 – Beats Me.
"So… what happened next?"
…
Still don't know yet.
The author is thinking about it.
Maybe later.
Ahem.
Let me continue my story.
Now I'm sixteen years ol—
"What were your gorilla mommy's last words?"
…
Silence.
"Ahem."
Okay.
If you're really that desperate.
My mommy's last words were—
Do you really want to know?
This might give you a heart attack.
"I'm ready. Try me."
She said—
"I should have eaten you when you were a baby."
…
I clutched her hand tighter.
Tears fell freely.
"Mommy…!"
"Eh?"
"…What do you mean by eaten you when you were a baby?"
Beats me.
"How's your heart?"
"Hah?"
"Ouch, ouch—wow, I'm really touched…"
"Good."
"Do you need medical assistance before I continue?"
"No need, boss."
"Okay 👌"
—
When I was sixteen years old, I joined a party called the Banished Adventurer Party.
I worked for them for almost a year.
Then one day—suddenly—all of his bitches gathered around him, standing close, while he sat there like a king on his cheap chair.
Our party leader casually said, like a complete jerk:
"We're kicking you out of the party."
"Huh?"
I froze.
Then I shouted,
"YOU CAN'T JUST DO THI—"
I stopped mid-sentence.
…Wait.
Isn't this familiar?
My thoughts struck like lightning.
Ohhh yeah! I've seen this before!
Isn't this the part where the main character gets kicked out, becomes overpowered, gets all the girls, and then the party leader regrets everything and comes crawling back?
This makes sense.
THANK YOU, FATE, FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY!
I looked at the party leader and said calmly,
"Okay. Can you at least tell me one reason?"
He replied,
"You're weak."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU BASTARD?! LET'S FIGHT!"
I charged at him without thinking.
—
Yeah.
He beat the absolute crap out of me.
But that's fine.
This is the part where he realizes his mistake, recruits me back, and—
while he's at it—
I get my girls.
Right?
…Right?
---
A month later…
Fuck you, Fate.
Sob… sob…
Now I'm fucking homeless.
No party.
No girls.
Barely eating.
FUCK.
IT WAS ALL A FUCKING LIE!
I DIDN'T GET OP POWERS!
I DON'T HAVE BITCHES!
I DON'T EVEN HAVE A BED!
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!
I collapsed beneath the moonlight, shoulders shaking, tears dripping onto the cold ground.
I cried.
Loudly.
Pathetically.
To the uncaring sky.
Yep that's my story..
"Slurrrpp…"
We were sitting in the corner of a dingy tavern.
The kind where the floor sticks to your shoes, the smell of stale ale hits you before the door opens, and the bartender gives you a look like you're the problem.
I leaned back in my chair, empty mug in hand.
"Fuck this world," I muttered.
My subordinate stared at me.
"Hey, boss… aren't you supposed to not be drinking?"
"Don't worry, don't worry," I waved him off.
"In this world, there's no law against it."
"But boss… what about the beyond?"
"…What do you mean, beyond?"
"There's a law out there," he said seriously,
"that a minor can't drink beer."
"What law? What the hell are you talking about?"
"…eh?"
"So what's your story, Atomic?" I asked.
(Not my subordinate.)
He straightened up proudly.
"I wasn't reincarnated," he said,
"I was summoned."
"Ohhh. Fancy."
"I was once an honored knight," he continued.
"Golden armor. Polished sword. People bowed when I walked by."
"…Must be nice."
"Then—without warning—a glowing star appeared beneath my golden shoes."
"…Shoes specifically?"
"Yes. Very expensive shoes."
"Uh-huh."
"When I opened my eyes, a man with a crown that has a word in it, OIL, and was already standing right in front of me."
"Let me guess," I said.
'Chosen hero' speech?"
Atomic nodded.
"Word for word."
Defeat the Demon Lord.
Save our world.
And in return—
"They promised me a succubus."
"…Of course they did."
"I accepted immediately."
"No hesitation?"
"None."
"…Respect."
"And then?" I asked.
Atomic looked away.
"I failed."
"…Ah."
I stared at him for a second.
"Okay, different question."
"Why are you naked right now," I said,
"and why do you only have white pants?"
He sniffed.
"I discovered gambling."
"…Ah."
"At first I bet coins."
"…Of course."
"Then weapons."
"…Naturally."
"Then armor."
"…Let me guess—"
"Yes," he said quietly.
"I lost."
Sob… sob…
"I sold everything."
He looked down at himself.
"This is all that remains of a once-honored knight."
—
I took a long sip of my drink.
"…So the succubus?"
"…Never met her."
"…Tragic."
—
The moon hung silently above us.
Two failures.
One pair of white pants.
"…This world sucks," I muttered.
I took a long sip and wiped the foam from my chin.
"Hey… before the chapter ends," atomic ask, leaning back,
"mind if I ask your name?"
I blinked. My subordinate just shrugged.
I stood up, walking toward the exit,
trying my hardest to look cool—cape of imaginary glory flaring behind me in my mind.
The subordinate stayed behind, still hovering over the loser knight.
Atomic just stared at me, expressionless.
I turned slightly, one eyebrow raised, voice booming:
"I… AM SIX-SEVEN."
And with that, I pushed the door open like a hero,
leaving two failures, one tavern, and a very confused bartender in my wake.
Then, from behind me, My subordinate yelled,
"Wait for me!"
I smirked, glanced back, and shrugged.
"…Fine. Come along, then. Don't trip over your own incompetence."