I let myself be dragged, the adrenaline pumping through me as she ran. When she finally slowed to a halt, we were deep in the woods outside of the temple. We walked. There was a hidden road in these woods, winding through the lush undergrowth and along the sounds of a nearby stream. The further we went, the saltier the air became, mixing with the earthy aroma of the forest. I realized we were approaching the coast, the ocean air unmistakable.
As we emerged from the dense forest onto a cliff overlooking the vast, endless sea, the sight took my breath away. The water stretched to the horizon, a tapestry of blues and greens under the vast, open sky. Waves crashed against the rugged cliffs with a rhythmic, soothing roar. Irelia stood beside me, her eyes fixed on the distant waves, her expression unreadable.
"This place," she began softly, her voice almost lost in the sound of the surf, "is where I come to remember and to forget. The ocean sees all our battles and keeps all our secrets."
She walked to the edge of the cliff, sitting down and patting the ground next to her, inviting me to join her. I sat, feeling the cool breeze against my skin, watching the ocean's relentless motion.
"Here, the vastness makes my own troubles seem smaller, more manageable. It reminds me that the world continues, with or without my struggles." Irelia's tone was reflective, her gaze lost in the horizon. "And sometimes, it shows us that what we seek might not be found in the heat of battle or in the quiet of a temple, but in the spaces in between."
We sat in silence for a moment, each lost in our own thoughts. Then, turning towards me, she continued, "Ravik, the ocean is like a mirror. It reflects everything it sees, the good and the bad. It can show you things about yourself that you've forgotten or hidden away. Maybe, just maybe, it can help you remember who you are."
The idea was intriguing. Could the ocean really help me remember? The thought was both hopeful and daunting.
"I don't know how to begin," I admitted, watching the waves.
"Just watch," she said. "Feel the waves, hear their roar, see their relentless energy and unpredictability. Let your mind be as open and vast as the sea. Let go of your need for answers, and maybe they will come to you as the tide comes to the shore."
I closed my eyes, taking in the rhythmic sound of crashing waves, the scent of salt and life, the feel of the cool breeze. Slowly, I felt my mind unwinding, thoughts drifting like the tides. Memories flickered at the edges of my consciousness, elusive but present.
After a while, Irelia spoke again, her voice a whisper mingled with the wind, "This is why I brought you here. Not to give you answers, but to show you how to find them yourself."
As the day faded into evening, we remained there, side by side, watching the sunset paint the sky with colors as vivid and fleeting as memories. The ocean, timeless and ever-changing, offered no answers, but it granted something else—a sense of peace and a promise that some things are constant, like the tide, like the journey of discovering oneself.
"Thank you, Irelia," I finally said as the stars began to appear, one by one, above us.
"For what?" she asked, looking at me with a faint smile.
"For this peace. For the journey." I smiled back, feeling more connected to the world around me, to Irelia, and to the parts of myself I still had to discover.
With the night fully upon us, we rose together, the bond between us strengthened by shared silence and understanding. We walked back through the woods, the path familiar now, as if it too was part of the journey I was meant to take.
The next day came quickly. I had bid Irelia farewell as she returned to the dorm she was staying in. With the morning sun shining bright, I found myself at the temple entrance once more, Tenzin, and Karma.
"How was your trip?" Karma asked. Her curiosity apparent on her face. I forgot I didn't get to see them yesterday since that trip to the ocean.
"It was nice. The ocean is breathtaking." I answered, smiling. I enjoyed myself greatly during the walk there and back with Irelia. I got to see her softer side. Her humor. Her playfulness. And most importantly, she got to be herself around me. Through her memories, I had seen her be the leader and warrior the people of Ionia needed. She guided them and gave them hope. With the way she acted, I would have never known. She just seemed too... down to earth. But maybe, this was the true Irelia. Just with all her walls down.
"I believe it's time we discuss your runes, Ravik." Karma looked serious. Tenzin also had a look of worry on his face.
"What about them?" I was confused. The runes... was something wrong?
"Those markings..." Tenzin said. "They are runes from a very long time ago. How far in the past, our research couldn't say. There wasn't any information on them. Most records were lost throughout the years. From what we could deduce, however, is that they represent a demonic pact."
I stared blankly. I didn't expect that.
"Demonic? I have a demon's mark?!" I asked in disbelief. I had heard about demons from the few books I read here. The temple had a small collection of reading material, but they were mostly religious texts about Ionia's godlike entities.
"Yes." He affirmed. "You may want to sit down."
I listened, feeling weak already. How could this be? A demon. It can't be. It's not possible. Is that why I don't remember anything? I gave them to a demon? It made so much sense, but the implications of it made it hard to accept. I wanted to think it wasn't true. Yet deep down I knew that it was.
"These runes are the binding seal." Tenzin pointed to my back. I closed my eyes and summoned my magic. Using the same energy, the one that appeared whenever the visions occurred. The runes lit up my room. I felt sickened at seeing the runes for the first time after knowing what they are.
"Whoever made this, wants your body. It gives them access to you. It tethers your soul to them in exchange for power." Tenzin continued to explain. It felt like a punch to the gut. Everything was clicking into place. That's why I can't remember. I gave my soul away in exchange for power. It explains everything... my lack of memories and connection to this world.
I sank back onto my bed, my chest heavy. Karma grabbed my hand.
"But fear not, we have a ritual to see what demon you may have contracted with. Perhaps we could find a way to break the contract. If it's true, and this being has taken over you before, there is no way to know if you truly regained control of your soul." Karma sounded determined. Determined to save me from myself.
Tenzin nodded in agreement. "Rituals can be complicated, and we haven't had to perform one in decades. But if you are willing to do this, we shall start preparations." Tenzin smiled.
"Yeah, we won't know unless we try." I smiled back.
It was later in the night when we entered the inner sanctum. Karma and Tenzin lead me through the hallways, leading me into the chamber we usually meet in for meditation sessions.
"Are you ready, Ravik?" They asked. I nodded my head. My heart was racing. This was going to be the first time I would learn more about myself. Even though it scared me, I was prepared. All around me were monks. They knelt in prayer. And from the corner of my eye I saw Irelia. She came for me. To help me. And for that, I was glad.
"Then let us begin," Karma commanded.
The room became pitch black. All that lit up were the candles from the brazier in the center of the room. Tenzin started the chanting, slowly but surely, the chant grew louder. As it grew, so did a sudden energy filling the room. The dark blue hue of the energy mixed well with the red candlelight of the room. This felt wrong. The magic... it felt darker than I've felt. Its source was coming from me. It's like it was responding to the energy in the room, becoming stronger and feeding into it. My runes began to glow brightly. And for a brief moment, it seemed as if they had eyes of their own, staring straight at me. I looked at Irelia. She looked worried but did not falter.
Finally, the chanting swelled into a crescendo, the mana in the room surrounding us. The darkness swirled in front of me and I could feel it. The demon. The one who took my memories. The one who took my life away. But I could also sense something else... Something bigger than any of us here. Like an entity hiding behind the demon. But I couldn't make out what it was. The swirl slowed and from the darkness emerged a being. The demon was... me?
Before me was my reflection. Except it wasn't. It was different. It wasn't quite right. It lacked something. He looked me up and down. "Ahh. Look at you." I had never truly seen myself before, but looking at this mirror I saw myself for the first time. Black hair, a touch of white in the corner. Eyes as silver as the stars. But the difference was the absolute darkness that came from him.
"Who are you?" I asked. The demon walked forward and looked around.
"So this is where you were. Ionia. I had spent a long time looking for you, Ravik." The voice was demonic but also human.
"I ask again, who are you?" I repeated my question, anger building in my voice.
"There's no need to act tough. I know everything about you, Ravik. I know who you are. Where you're from. Your purpose in life."
"Lies." I spat back. The demon smirked and leaned closer. The runes on my back suddenly burst with power. It felt as if my life force was being pulled from me! The room trembled and I couldn't hear or see anymore.
"Let's not play games." His voice changed as well. He was annoyed. Angry. "You will fulfill your purpose. Find the other pieces and make me whole once more."
"I refuse!" I growled. The demon narrowed his eyes. "I want nothing to do with this."
"Fool. Do you not know of the horrors you inflicted before you fled to this realm?" The demon stepped back. "Do you not understand the pain you caused? Do you not remember?" The images flooded my mind. Screams. Death. Chaos.
I backed up. My head hurt as more of my memories returned. What did I do? I saw destruction, fear, darkness, fury. I knelt in pain, what was this? Who was this demon?
'We are no mere demon.' His voice rang in my head. I looked up. Tears fell down my eyes. I remembered. I know who I am. What I am.
"I... I... never existed in the first place." I croaked, the room trembled with the power emanating from me. I could hear screams now, all those years ago. The destruction brought onto people.
"We. Are. Yaavin." It shouted. "A piece of me!" It cried out. The power was overwhelming me. I tried to grasp onto something, anything that could remind me of my humanity, my life, what little light I had left.
"You are merely a vessel for my mind and soul! A piece of me! You have no identity! No existence! You are nothing! But, when reunited with the other pieces, I will be resurrected once more, and I will bring annihilation and ruin to Runeterra! It had split me into three and cast me out of this realm!" The demon's... no. He wasn't a demon. He was something worse. He was me.
Yaavin was a being from beyond the plane of humans. I could see. We brought calamity wherever we went... I brought calamity. Was this truly what I am? A monster? This didn't feel like me. There was a part of me that rejected what was happening. But even then, what was stopping me? What is holding me back from causing that harm again? Maybe, just maybe, I should just give myself up. Give myself over to my inner evil. Let loose the storm within. Allow the void to consume what was left of me.
No. I stopped myself from accepting the darkness. I didn't know where these thoughts came from, but it felt natural. I roared in defiance.
"I am not a monster!" I yelled out, pushing back my negative emotions. "I will not succumb! I reject what you want!" Yaavin, me, stared me down.
"If you will not find my pieces, then the pieces will come find you. Whether you seek them or not, we will be reunited. Even now, the power they hold, the corruption, will force others to do my bidding. And the only command I give is to find you."
I screamed in agony and lashed out, drawing upon all the energy in the room, gathering it, condensing it, until finally, I exploded it outward. The wave hit everyone and threw them away, stopping the ritual. Yaavin faded, leaving me with one final warning.
"Will they still care for you when they know what you are?"
I collapsed. I couldn't even form words or even breathe properly. My body was shaking and my breathing was ragged.
I felt hands touch my back, gently trying to help me stand up. I looked up to see faces I recognized, but I felt numb to it all. I breathed but I couldn't feel the air. They were speaking to me, but I couldn't hear them. Suddenly, something broke in me. I wrestled out of their grasps.
"Get away from me! I'm a monster!" I screamed. They backed away, wary, afraid of me. "I.. I'll only end up hurting you if I stay here!" The pain I felt. The sorrow. The loss. The emptiness. Is this what I truly was?
"Ravik." Karma spoke. I turned toward her. My eyes stung with tears. My breathing was erratic. I had to get away. "Please listen to us."
I closed my eyes and covered my ears. I wanted it to stop. It hurts. It all hurts. Why did I have to wake up?
I didn't want to do this again. I didn't want to be a monster. Karma reached out but I backed away. I heard a cry as she fell to the floor, the mana I emitted sent her flying. Tenzin stepped in, raising his arms in the air to form a shield against my magic. The wall held. I had to get away.
My mind was reeling. The rush of memories, feelings, everything hit me all at once. I had to leave. I turned to run. Only, Irelia stepped in my way. I had to push through her. But she wouldn't budge.
"Step aside." I asked, almost begged. I was scared, angry, guilty. I could tell she was conflicted. I could see it in her eyes. The urge to protect. The need to fight. My heartbeat quickened. I needed to go. Now.
"You are not alone." Her tone was firm but also gentle.
"Yes I am! I always have been and always will be!" I growled in return. "Please, don't stop me." I said, this time with less bite. She remained standing still. I was shaking. I'm so afraid. I don't want to hurt anyone. Not anymore.
"You can't just leave, Ravik! We don't know how to control this darkness, but together we can find a way. Please, don't throw your life away!" She pleaded, her voice escalating from the gentle. In her eyes, I felt not just fear, but a sliver of something more - a vulnerability that surprised me. Perhaps she cared for me more than I thought. But the guilt gnawed at me. I couldn't let her get hurt because of me.
I took another step, hoping she would move aside. She didn't. So I sprung forward with all my might, propelling myself past her. My momentum carried me further, faster. My speed was unnatural. The result of my power. She cried out. I ran. I passed buildings and gates, the grounds that I had grown to call home. The Placidium. I ran into the darkness of Ionia and didn't look back. All that was left was regret, and me. Alone.