The following day, Wren and Jae spent hours searching every inch of the city for Atlas. Wren was reliving the nightmare of the first kidnapping all over again. His mind was a jumble of what-ifs. Only after sunset did they return. They hadn't found a trace of Atlas.
When they stepped through the door of Wren's flat, Wren immediately noticed an envelope resting on the coffee table. It hadn't been there before. It was addressed to him.
It was a letter from Atlas.
_________________________________
Dear Wren,
You are the light of my world. Please, let that light shine on others. I know you will be a brilliant and compassionate doctor. I only wish that I could be there to see it myself.
Please don't be too hard on yourself. If you fall, promise me you will find the strength to rise again. In the end, the only thing we can do is strive to be better than the world that tried to break us.
I understand everything now, and I am so deeply sorry for all of it. I never truly realized how heavy a burden this has been for you to carry. But I see now how selfish I have been. How could I have been so blind to all your pain? Thank you for staying by my side and for putting up with me. I don't think a lifetime would be enough to thank you for that.
I am so sorry I couldn't be the person you deserved and the person you wanted me to be. It breaks my heart that things had to end this way, and I am so sorry for leaving you like this. Even when I am not around, please know that I am always rooting for you. And that I will always, always love you.
With all my love, forever and always,
Atlas
_________________________________
Wren let the note slip from his hands. He bolted out into the streets like a mad man. He screamed for Atlas on the streets. He grabbed strangers and spun them around if they had even a passing resemblance to Atlas frame. Jae trailed behind him and eventually brought him back home.
Wren was a wreck of tears and desperation. People stared, but he didn't care. It wasn't just his heart breaking.
That night, his eyes were swollen shut and his head throbbed. Jae did his best to just be present, to be there for Wren. He quietly stayed by Wren's side the whole time.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
After a heavy silence, Benjamin spoke gently. "If it's too hard to talk about, Wren, we can stop."
Wren's face hardened. "I want to talk about it. It's the last time I ever want to speak of it. Just give me a moment."
He called for Jae and stepped away. When Wren returned, he carried a glass of strong liquor and he smelled of smoke from cigarettes.
"Master Baek, are you sure you shouldn't rest?" Jae asked. He knew Wren only smoked when he was under extreme emotional duress. In the last four years he had been with him, he'd only seen Wren smoke a handful of times.
Wren was composed now. His voice was flat and monotonous as if he were reciting a boring anecdote.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
The morning after reading Atlas's letter, Wren's despair had turned into suspicion. He didn't believe Atlas would write such a thing. What if his parents had staged everything?
Wren and Jae went to the school, only to be told Atlas had taken a leave of absence. When Wren demanded Atlas's parents' contact information, the administrators refused, claiming Atlas had specifically requested his whereabouts remain private.
Wren called his parents from his residence. They were ice-cold. They claimed to have no idea where "the orphan" was and told him it was none of his business anyway. They even told him that perhaps the boy, having "tasted an omega," no longer had use for an alpha. Wren slammed the phone down in a silent rage.
"Get private investigators," Wren told Jae. "As many as you can find. Bill it all to my parents."
The days bled into a week. Wren stopped attending classes, spent his hours staring blankly at the ceiling, and barely touched the light meals Jae prepared.
It was that day, when Jae stood in the doorway, his face a ghostly pallor, his hands shaking. He'd heard back from one of the investigators. His expression betrayed a horror he couldn't speak aloud.
Wren's mind raced through various scenarios. Did Atlas have a new lover? Had Atlas just decided to move on from him and live his own life? Or, had he been kidnapped, drugged and tortured again? Wren didn't know.
When Wren pressed him, Jae could only whisper, "I think you should talk to the investigator. He's downstairs with his carriage."
The investigator was a small, pudgy man with thick glasses and a face just as bloodless as Jae's. He gestured to the carriage, and Wren climbed in, his hair disheveled and still wearing the clothes he'd lived in for days.
"We found him at an inn," the investigator said. "We found his belongings. We'll hand them over once we have permission. But this," the investigator handed him over a thick envelope, "I kept it. I didn't think anyone should see it."
The envelope was addressed to Atlas. Wren with shaking hands opened the envelope and found a large stack of photos inside. He pulled one out. It was a photo of Atlas from the night he had been drugged and kidnapped. He shuffled through more, they were all photos of Atlas from that night.
Wren was in shock and tossed the envelope on the carriage floor. "What's going on?" Wren asked in a low threatening tone. "Where is the inn?"
The investigator remained silent and scooted into the corner of the carriage. Just then the carriage had stopped in front of the police station.
The investigator quickly left himself out of the carriage and gestured for Jae and Wren to follow him. Wren's head shook in denial. It couldn't be. They reached a room where a body lay beneath a white sheet.
"This him?" the coroner asked indifferently.
The investigator nodded. The sheet was pulled back. There was Atlas. He lay cold and still, and his skin was a bruised shade of blue. Horrific red rope burns circled around his neck.
Wren stumbled back, his legs giving out as he hit the floor. "It's not him. It can't be," he sobbed, shaking uncontrollably.
"Since you've identified him, we ask that you leave," the coroner said.
The investigator pressed money into the man's hand. "Leave us until we come out."
For hours, Wren pleaded with the body. "Wake up, Atlas. Please. Don't leave me here alone. You promised... it was us against the world." His crying cycled between quiet whimpers and gut-wrenching screams. It went on until Jae finally had to carry him away.
Wren had fallen into a catatonic state. He was awake, but he wasn't there. His parents eventually took him back to Zephyr, where doctors diagnosed a mental breakdown. By the time he finally had woken from his comatose-like state, Jae had been dismissed and was gone.
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
Wren didn't look Benjamin in the eyes. His eyes were glazed over and fixed on the floor. His voice was low but steady. He was keeping his voice from faltering, but Benjamin could hear the slight shakiness in Wren's voice. "He thought I didn't want him, when all I wanted was him… In his eyes, he was beyond redemption. He was repulsed by his own skin… He couldn't look at himself without disgust. He was tainted by a shame that wasn't even his to start with. He was the victim…Yet…"
Wren continued slowly, but his thoughts began to spiral into loops. "I wasn't there for him. It was all my fault. If it weren't for me, he would still be alive today. If only I had had the sense to keep him away from me. If I had just stopped being so selfish. I could have prevented all of this."
As Wren went on in loops, Benjamin rose, his chains clanking heavily as he moved to sit beside him. He placed a gentle hand over Wren's, and finally, the talking stopped.
"Wren... I'm so sorry you went through that," Benjamin said softly. "I can't imagine..."
Wren didn't respond, lost in his memories. Benjamin squeezed his hand, finally pulling him back to the present. Wren blinked, seeing Benjamin as if for the first time, before snapping out of his daze. Benjamin slowly withdrew his hand.
"I'm sorry," Wren said. "I was lost."
"There's nothing to be sorry about," Benjamin assured him, before pulling him into a gentle embrace.
Wren's body went limp, his breathing finally steadying, though he didn't return the hug. Suddenly, he pulled back.
"The files... where are they?"
Benjamin took a step back. "Wren, let's talk about this when you're feeling better."
"Better? I've lived like this for over a decade. I'm fine."
"Wren, you really should get some rest for tonight."
"You don't know what I've done to get this far, Benjamin. It's all to build a better world for the people, Benjamin. I'm going to burn this current system to the ground and replace it with something new. Something righteous. You know I'm doing this for the people. To make the world a better place. It's only right."
"Wren, I understand that your parents were stuck in the past, but we're no longer—"
"Ha!" Wren cut him off with a dry, bitter laugh. "There are still too many people who use the biology of secondary genders to spread dangerous ideologies and to keep people oppressed. Just far too many who believe some of us are born to rule and others to be subjected to oppression, just like my parents."
Wren slowly tilted his head up and locked eyes with Benjamin's. He spoke with a cold calmness. "Do you know what happens to people like that?" He let out a small scoff. "Do you know what I've been through to get this far? Do you have any idea of what I've sacrificed?"
Benjamin sensed the threat. "Wren, please… Let's take a breath here. I know you're upset. I just want you to recollect your thoughts. Let's talk more tomorrow." He looked at Jae, who remained silent with his face turned away from the scene.
"No. Let's hear it now." Wren said.
Benjamin was frozen. Seeing the hard coldness in Wren's eyes and his voice, he knew Wren would not back down. "I'll tell you everything, under one condition. I… I want to see Charles. I have something to tell him."
Wren nodded, looking away for a moment. He looked hurt before his face hardened again instantly. "It's about your child?" His gaze now was once again locked into Benjamin's.
Benjamin sat down slowly. "Yes," he lied. He hadn't intended for anyone else to find out about his pregnancy. But, now, it was the perfect excuse.
"Charles is engaged, is he not? I doubt he wants—"
"Please, Wren. Everything you're about to tell me, I already know," Benjamin's voice broke. "I just… want to see him one last time."
Wren let out a bitter scoff. "When I found out, I wanted to be there for you. I was going to step up and be the man Charles refused to be. If he finds out, Benjamin, I'm certain he'll just want you to get rid of it. He's getting married and—"
But seeing the look on Benjamin's face, Wren quieted down. "Let's talk more tomorrow. I'll see to it that the brute gets a message. I'll work something out."
That night, as Benjamin laid in bed, his thoughts kept shifting back to Wren and Atlas. His chest felt heavy and it felt as if his heart was physically breaking inside him. He wondered what had become of Wren's parents. They had passed away according to Ara. Then he wondered about Charles. Benjamin wasn't sure whether Charles would come not or not, but he had taken a blind leap of faith. Afterall, Charles was the key to his plans.
Just then, the door creaked open. Benjamin remained perfectly still, holding his breath and pretending to be asleep. He heard the footsteps drawing closer, until he felt the mattress sink under the weight of a body.
Then Benjamin was embraced from behind, and he could smell the strong scent of alcohol. It was Wren. Then, he felt the heat of soft, lingering kisses pressed against the nape of his neck.