I told myself I wasn't jealous.
Because jealous sounds childish.
Insecure.
Possessive.
And I'm not that girl.
Right?
Right.
…right?
Then why was I watching them like CCTV?
"Ava, you're still loud for no reason," Ethan said.
"Shut up, you love it," she shot back.
"I absolutely don't."
"You cried when I moved away."
"I did NOT cry."
"You literally called me at 3AM and—"
"OKAY STOP TALKING."
She burst out laughing.
Loud.
Head thrown back.
Like nothing in life could ever stress her.
And Ethan?
He was laughing too.
Comfortable.
Relaxed.
Teasing her back.
Like breathing.
Like this was normal for them.
Like they'd done this a thousand times.
And I stood behind the counter pretending to arrange fabrics that were already arranged.
My hands kept folding the same shirt.
Over.
And over.
And over.
Why does this feel weird?
It's not romantic.
They're not flirting.
If anything, they act like two kids fighting.
So why does my chest feel tight?
My cousin leaned close and whispered, "You good?"
"Yeah," I lied.
She squinted at me. "You folding air."
I looked down.
I was literally folding nothing.
God.
Get a grip, Mira.
"Hey," Ethan called.
I looked up.
He waved me over.
"Come here. Don't hide there."
Hide?
I wasn't hiding.
I just didn't want to feel… extra.
But I walked over anyway.
Ava grinned at me immediately.
"So YOU'RE Mira-mira."
"…why twice?"
"I like doubling names. Feels cute."
This girl is chaos.
She looked between us like we were a TV show.
"So how did you two even meet?"
Before I could answer, Ethan said, "It's a boring story."
"Let her talk!" she smacked his arm.
He smacked her back.
Children.
Actual children.
"We met at a store," I said.
"See? Boring," he muttered.
"Shut up," I said automatically.
Ava gasped dramatically. "Ohhh she defends herself. I like her already."
I didn't know whether to laugh or be suspicious.
She suddenly leaned closer to me and whispered loud enough for everyone to hear,
"Take care of him though. He's stupid but sensitive. Cries over everything."
"I DON'T CRY," Ethan protested.
"You cried when your plant died."
"IT WAS TWO YEARS OLD."
I accidentally laughed.
Couldn't help it.
They were ridiculous.
And for a second…
It felt lighter.
Maybe I really am overthinking.
Maybe she really is just—
Then she said it.
"So where's Lena by the way?"
Everything stopped.
My smile dropped instantly.
Ethan stiffened.
The air changed.
Ava blinked. "What? What happened? Why you both look like that?"
"No reason," Ethan said quickly.
But it was too late.
Because now I was thinking about Lena again.
About the hospital.
About the almost losing him.
About how close I came to walking away forever.
And suddenly I felt tired.
So tired.
Of sharing his story with other girls.
Even if it's harmless.
Even if it's history.
Even if it's "just memories."
I'm tired of always being the new one.
The recent one.
The one still learning him.
While everyone else already knows.
After a while, Ava left.
Finally.
She hugged Ethan again.
Too long for my liking.
Then she hugged me too.
Which shocked me.
"You're cool," she said. "Don't let this idiot stress you."
"…I'll try."
She smiled.
Then walked off like a hurricane leaving town.
Silence filled the shop.
Just me and Ethan now.
Finally.
He looked at me.
"You okay?"
There it is.
That question.
The dangerous one.
Because if I say "yes," I lie.
If I say "no," I sound insecure.
I hate this.
"…yeah," I said anyway.
He didn't buy it.
"You got quiet."
"I'm just tired."
He stepped closer.
"Mira."
The way he says my name like that should be illegal.
"What?" I muttered.
"You don't have to compete with anyone, you know."
My chest tightened.
"I'm not competing."
"You are. In your head."
I looked away.
Because he was right.
And I hated that he could see through me so easily.
"She's just noise," he said softly. "Fun noise. That's it."
"And Lena?" I asked quietly.
He didn't hesitate this time.
"Closed chapter."
Then he lifted my chin gently.
Forced me to look at him.
"You're not 'new,' Mira," he said. "You're now."
God.
Why does he talk like this?
Why does he always hit the exact spot in my chest?
"I don't want to share you," I blurted before I could stop myself.
The words shocked both of us.
But they were honest.
Raw.
Ugly.
Real.
"I don't want pieces," I whispered. "I want all."
He stared at me for a second.
Then smiled softly.
Not teasing.
Not joking.
Soft.
"You already have all," he said.
And he pulled me into his chest.
Slow.
Warm.
Safe.
My hands grabbed his shirt without thinking.
Because no matter how strong I pretend to be…
When he hugs me like that?
I fold.
Every time.
And I hate that I care this much.
But maybe…
Maybe caring this much is the point.