shouldn't have softened my heart for him.
I saw him as a younger brother, someone who needed help, and I thought I could bring him out of the dark.
But heaven played a cruel joke on me.
( Junhoo)
I have always felt like a mistake that somehow slipped into a perfect family.
My mother is a lawyer.
My father is a doctor.
My two siblings move through life like they were born knowing where they belong.
And then there is me.
A university student who keeps falling behind.
That morning, when I opened my results, my hands were shaking. My GPA had dropped again. I had failed one of my core courses and barely passed two others. My name was near the bottom of the department list. It wasn't just bad - it was embarrassing.
I stared at the numbers for a long time, hoping they would change.
They didn't.
Around me, other students were celebrating, talking about scholarships, internships, and future plans. I felt like I was standing in a room where everyone else was moving forward while I was being left behind.
At home, no one ever said it directly, but I felt it in everything. My mother's careful silence. My father's disappointed looks. My siblings' quiet success made my failure even louder.
I was the black sheep.
I didn't go home that day.
I walked instead.
I walked through streets full of strangers who didn't know my name, past buildings that didn't care about my grades. The city didn't judge me. It just let me breathe.
I kept walking, trying to quiet the voice in my head that kept telling me I wasn't good enough, that I was wasting my family's name, that I was falling apart.
That was when I saw him.
A boy standing too close to the road, lost in his thoughts, his face tired and empty in a way I recognised. He looked like someone who had been carrying too much for too long.
A horn sounded.
I didn't think.
I ran.
I pushed him out of the way as the car rushed past. He fell hard, and for a moment I was terrified I had hurt him - but I knew it would have been worse if I hadn't moved.
Later, in the hospital, I sat beside his bed, still shaking. I didn't know his name yet. I didn't know his story.
But I knew one thing.
Saving him had made me feel like maybe I wasn't useless after all.
And that was how I crossed paths with Kim Sok-joo.
At first, I thought he was just a stranger.
A man lying in a hospital bed, pale and quiet, wrapped in white sheets and blinking slowly back into the world. I was standing there, watching him breathe, telling myself he was just someone I had saved.
Just a stranger.
But then he moved his head slightly.
And the light hit his face.
And something inside me broke.
It was Kimmy.
My senior.
The boy I had once followed through crowded hallways.
The boy whose voice used to calm me when I was afraid.
The only person in college who never made me feel like I was a failure.
The one I had loved quietly, painfully, from a distance.
For a moment, I couldn't breathe.
So many memories rushed back - him helping me with my notes, him standing between me and people who laughed at me, him telling me that I was not stupid, that I was not weak, that I was allowed to exist exactly as I was.
He had been my safe place.
And now he was lying there, broken, not even knowing I was in the room.
So much time had passed. Years. A whole lifetime, it felt like. I didn't know if he would remember me. I wasn't the scared, awkward kid he used to protect anymore. I wasn't that boy who followed him around with wide eyes and a hopeful heart.
I was someone else now.
Someone who had failed.
Someone whose grades were falling.
Someone whose family was disappointed.
Someone who felt small all over again.
And the truth was... I didn't want him to remember me.
Because if he did, he would see what I had become.
He would see how far I had fallen from the boy he once believed in.
And I don't think my heart could survive that.
So I stood there quietly, holding my breath, hoping he would just see me as a stranger,
not as the boy who once loved him with everything he had.
Hello... my name is Kim Sok-joo," he said softly. "I know, what- sorry..."
He stopped, unsure how to go on.
Junhoo looked at him and said gently,
"Just continue."
Kim Sok-joo took a breath.
"Well... I am not suicidal or anything. I just didn't notice the car coming. I want to thank you so much... for everything. And don't worry about the hospital bills. I will pay them."
Junhoo listened quietly, his eyes never leaving him.
After a moment he said,
"Well... okay then. Since you are fine, and you can handle the hospital bill, I will..."
"Thank you," Kim Sok-joo said quickly, his voice trembling just a little.
Junhoo nodded.
"Yes... You're welcome."
The words were simple, but the silence between them was heavy - full of everything neither of them was ready to say yet.
When Kim Sok-joo finally got home, all he wanted was to rest.
His body ached.
His head was still heavy from everything that had happened.
The bullying, the tension, the accident - it all felt too much for one day.
He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to breathe.
Then his phone rang.
The name on the screen made his heart jump.
Charlie.
The leader of Rider.
His crush.
For a moment, Kim Sok-joo just stared at the phone, afraid to touch it. Then he answered.
"Hello?"
"Kim," Charlie said ( Rider's leader). "I just wanted to call and apologise again... for what happened earlier today. And I wanted to check if you were okay."
Hearing his voice made something warm spread through Kim Sok-joo's chest. Despite all the bullying and humiliation he had gone through, the fact that Charlie had called him himself made everything feel lighter.
"I'm fine," Kim Sok-joo said softly. "Really. I'm okay."
"That's good," Charlie replied. "Then I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. Get some rest. Good night."
"Okay," Kim Sok-joo answered. "I will."
When the call ended, Kim Sok-joo lay there in silence, his heart still beating fast.
He suddenly realised something.
How did Charlie get his number?
But the thought slipped away as quickly as it came. He was too tired, too happy, too overwhelmed to think much about it.
All he knew was that Charlie had called.
And that was enough to make the night feel a little brighter.