Ariana
"You look ever so bright and charming," My friend
Linda said to me. " I am glad to grace your beautiful presence this morning as
well," I responded in delight. Linda and I have been each other's backbone
right from medical school. We clicked like the earth holds onto the root of a
tree, we have been together, conquering, and overcoming each life challenge—
personal challenges and the responsibility of being a nurse. We aren't ready to
let go, not today at least.
" Come on, you silly lady, you never get tired of
teasing," Linda said, giggling like a little child who had just found one of
the most flavorful candies. She is and has always been a jolly fellow, never
uptight, never sad. When we have our little dispute, she finds a way not to
make it a big deal.
On the other hand, there I am, Ariana—Ariana Moore.
Completely opposite from my best friend Linda. Although we are both nurses, I
am an uptight one. Well, that's what Linda always says.
After a long day at the hospital, I stop by to get
dinner for Ethan. Ethan has been my high school sweetheart; safe to say we have
been together forever. We have been through it all, from our first challenge to
distance, to moving to a different city after medical school. Ethan has been
nothing but sweet and loving through and through. He sealed the love we shared
on a dreamy night at the beach by asking me to be his wife. It has been nothing
but what I have always wanted. Linda has always had her doubts about Ethan, but
he is someone, the only one I have grown to love. Now I walk around with the
assurance of his love, and no one matters more.
"Have a great night, Ariana," the receptionist said as
I walked out of the restaurant with our meal. Getting to the front porch of our
apartment, I noticed the lights were turned off through the windows. " Ethan
had better be home this time," I murmured to myself angrily as I searched for
my keys. The door flung open, and as expected, Ethan wasn't home tonight. It
has been two nights, and there has been no sight of him.
I set out the take-out on the dining table and washed
my hands right after. Reaching for my phone, I called Ethan, wanting to know
and hear his explanation. Because last I checked, he told me he'd be out and be
back before I knew it.
He picked up on the third ring, "Hey Ariana, I will be
home soon. You know our wedding is close, your man needs to make some
arrangements, you know. I love you," He said all of this in one breath and hung
up before I could respond. "Maybe, just maybe he is saying the truth this
time", I said to myself. Yes, our wedding was coming up fast at that, in two
weeks. In two weeks, I will be Ethan's wife. The thought of this made my tummy
coil, but in a good way. The thought settled my troubled heart as I chose to
believe that, indeed, Ethan was doing
nothing but right by me.
************
"Oh no, why would he do that? Why wait until this
moment?" voices were heard, voices filled with questions and unfiltered
disappointment. I couldn't turn to see if their faces matched with how they
felt towards me. My feet were plastered on the concrete earth, and my eyes were
filled with an ocean of my fluid. I also asked myself that question: why? Why
would Ethan wait until this moment?
It was finally the big day, the day I had dreamt
about, the memories lingering on to me most of the time, since I had this ring.
" You look more than immaculate in this, my cherry." My mum said as she had her
eyes fixed on me in my wedding dress. Picking this dress felt surreal, I wanted
every single bridal dress. I had no particular design in mind, but all I knew
was that I wanted to feel immaculate in it. Linda and I went from one store to
another, oh, how precious yet tedious our little store run was. "I am happy to
finally live this day," I whispered to Linda, who giggled in response. " It is
time to step out, darling."I heard my mum's voice, "Ethan must be waiting—sweating
through his pants even," Linda said, mimicking a very nervous Ethan. This is
what life is about, I thought to myself as I walked out of the room. The first
love I knew was that of my precious mother, then I got to meet Linda, and now
I'm taking this big step in saying yes forever to Ethan. Whom I have called my
friend, my brother, and now I'm going to call him my husband. I couldn't wait
for him to pull the veil off my face while I look into his eyes and finally say
the word I have been wanting to say for so long, "Yes, I do." I felt nothing
but lukewarm butterflies in my belly — the sound of the doors opening made my
head swirl, and there he is, my husband, my Ethan.
My steps towards the altar were slow and steady. Even
though all I wanted was to run across the room into Ethan's arms, even though
all I wanted was to say my vows and leave with my love as soon as the ceremony
was ended, I needed to remain calm, I needed to follow in suit according to the
practice I had signed up for. The choir sang, and the violin played at a pace
slower than my heartbeat. Everything felt divine, and my steps came to a halt
in a place I had been longing to be, right in front of my love, Ethan. I stared
into his eyes for reassurance, that which I needed, but his eyes held nothing,
not even fear. "It must be your nerves getting to you, girl," I said to myself.
Maybe Ethan was so good at hiding his emotions.
" Dearly beloved, we
are gathered here today in the sight of God and in the presence of these
witnesses to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony. If
any person can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together,
let them speak now or forever hold their peace." The minister's voice cried out
into the congregation gathered. There was no response, nothing but absolute
silence, as this union has nothing to hold it back. It has always been pure,
and now I'm certain that nothing is going to stop this day.
Turning
to Ethan, the minister read out loud, " Ethan, do you take Ariana to
be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do
you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in
health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?" The room
fell silent again, awaiting Ethan's response.
"What
could be taking him so long to answer? He needs to say just three words," Linda
whispered behind me. I did nothing but watch him, watch him fall silent. What
could be going on in his mind? Uncertainty? Definitely not. I watched him move
to speak, but his mouth went back closed. He moved to again, but this time his
lips parted and the words rolled out slowly, " I am sorry, Ariana, I can't. I
don't think I can". Gasps filled the air, I heard the sounds of feet sliding
against the ground. "What are you saying, Ethan?" I managed to blurt out as my
heart felt clumped up in its little hole, my body felt numb, and my soul
dismissed. " I am sorry, Ariana," He blurted out to me once more. " I don't
need your apology, Ethan. Why are you apologizing? You have done nothing wrong.
All you need to say is, yes, I do," I said to him in a calm yet disturbing
tone.
"
I can't do that, Ariana, I can't bring myself to," Ethan responded in a hurry,
and sped off, leaving me at the altar, all by myself.
More
gasps and cries filled the air, but I was unshaken. My feet felt heavy,
wounded, and burdened. "He is sorry?" I said aloud. Turning to Linda, I
blurted, "What is he sorry for, Linda?" But Linda stood there, shaken to her
core, not knowing what to tell Ariana. " Let us get you out of here, Ri," Was
all Linda could think of saying in response. "Please come with me." She
continued persuading Ariana.
I
heard the pleas of Linda, I turned towards the path my mother sat, and found
her weeping into her handkerchief, she raised her head and met eyes with me, my
pleading eyes desperately in need of some assurance that this is nothing but a
dream. But that wasn't what I played out to be; my sight was as clear as day,
and I could see the pity written on the face of each guest.
My
heart kept racing, my sight became blurry, my head spinning, "Maybe I'm about
to wake up from this unwanted experience," I said to myself as my sight grew
darker and as my head kissed the warmth of the earth, instead of the embrace of
Ethan.