Chapter 15: The Sis-con Satan and the Bishop's Execution
The sky above Kuoh Academy didn't just change color; it fractured. A massive, ornate magic circle—the crest of the Great Satan Lucifer—twisted open, radiating a pressure that made the very air feel like liquid lead.
From the center of the crimson light, Sirzechs Lucifer stepped out. He wasn't wearing his battle armor, but the smile on his face was far more terrifying. It was the smile of a man who had finished his paperwork early specifically to see if his "dear little cousin" had been behaving himself.
The Bunker Protocol
Inside his private room in the Occult Research Club, Lucian Gremory was currently experiencing a level of terror usually reserved for people staring at a falling meteor.
"Tamamo, the illusion! Is it holding?" Lucian hissed, huddled in the corner of his room.
Tamamo, currently in her elegant adult form, was leaning against the door, her three tails flickering with green mana. She looked at Lucian with a mix of pity and amusement. "Master, I have layered the 'Unperceivable Void' spell three times. But you are trying to hide a Gremory signal from the King of the Underworld. It's like trying to hide a bonfire behind a blade of grass."
She stepped closer, her silk robes rustling as she leaned down to tilt his chin up. "You look particularly pathetic today, my dear Master. Shall we die together, or do you want to go out and face the Sis-con's wrath alone?"
"I have Grayfia on my side!" Lucian whispered, though his voice lacked conviction.
"Grayfia-sama is a Queen," Tamamo teased, her finger tracing his jawline. "But Sirzechs-sama is a man who just heard his sister spent the afternoon in a room with a 'naked' Bishop. He won't kill you—he'll just freeze you in a block of ice and use you as a footstool for the next century."
"You're not helping!" Lucian groaned.
Outside, the ORC was a crime scene of awkwardness. Issei was currently face-down on the floor, a literal puddle of a human being after the "Asia hug" incident. Yubelluna, still adjusting to her new life, had sought refuge in Lucian's bed, hiding under the covers to avoid the terrifying aura of the Satan.
The Brotherly Confrontation
Sirzechs floated into the clubroom, his eyes scanning the carnage. He saw a dazed Koneko, a fainted Issei, and his sister, who was currently smoothing her hair as if nothing had happened.
"Rias, my darling sister!" Sirzechs beamed, though his aura was twitching. "I see the 'Peacock' has been plucked. I am so proud of your victory."
Rias crossed her arms, leaning back against her desk. "Oh, now you're proud? A few days ago, you were telling me my hands were tied by the Council. If it weren't for Lucian's gamble, I'd be in a cage in the Phoenix territory right now."
Sirzechs flinched, his heart breaking at the coldness in her voice. "Sister... I am a Satan before I am a brother. My duties—"
"So you were a Satan then, and you're my brother now?" Rias countered, her voice sharp. "How convenient for you."
Sirzechs looked like he'd been stabbed. "Rias, please... I wanted to help! But enough about me. Where is the brat? Where is that idiotic, reckless, dangerously attractive cousin of ours?"
"Who are you calling a brat?" Rias asked, her eyes narrowing.
"Not you, my dear! I mean Lucian. My 'dear little Bishop' who apparently spent the afternoon... socializing with you."
"My 'Dear Little Bishop'?" Rias repeated, a playful, wicked glint appearing in her eyes. "Oh, yes. He was very helpful. He's very... thorough with his duties."
Sirzechs's hair literally began to float as his Power of Destruction leaked out. "Helpful? Thorough?! Rias, has he corrupted you? Has he used his 'Charming Prince' act to lead you astray?!"
"Corrupted me?" Rias laughed, walking toward Lucian's locked door. "He didn't have to. It was quite... irreversible."
The Surrender
That was the breaking point. Sirzechs didn't even use a spell; he just gestured, and a dozen crimson magic circles surrounded Lucian's door.
"LUCIAN GREMORY! COME OUT AND FACE YOUR JUDGMENT!"
The door creaked open. Lucian stepped out, his hands raised high in the air, Tamamo trailing behind him in her small fox form. "I surrender! I have a lawyer! I demand to see Grayfia!"
"There is no Grayfia here to save you now!" Sirzechs roared, though he looked more like a jealous child than a god.
To make matters infinitely worse, Rias chose that exact moment to finalize the "execution." She walked up to Lucian, grabbed his arm, and pulled him into a possessive hug right in front of her brother.
"There you are, my dear Bishop," she cooed, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Don't be scared. My brother was just leaving."
Sirzechs's brain visibly stalled. His eyes darted between Rias's smile and Lucian's terrified expression. "Rias... let go of the boy. Let go of him right now or I will relocate Kuoh Academy to the bottom of the ocean."
"Brother, we can talk smoothly," Rias said, leading Lucian to the sofa. She sat down and, with a strength that brooked no argument, pulled Lucian's head down into her lap. "A good Bishop needs to rest after such a long day. You can talk to the Satan from there."
Lucian felt the world spinning. "Rias... this is a labor rights denial. I am being held hostage. Help!"
"You aren't a laborer, Lucian," Rias whispered, her fingers tracing the Gremory seal on his neck. "You're far more important than that."
Lucian looked up, only to see Sirzechs looming over them. The Great Satan's eyes were glowing with a light that suggested Lucian's future involved a lot of fire and very little breathing.
In the corner, Akeno was doubled over, her "Ara ara" echoing through the room. Kiba was currently dragging Issei's limp body toward the infirmary, whispering, "Don't wake up, Issei. It's safer for you if you stay unconscious."
The Trial of the Satan
Sirzechs sat across from them, his hands folded, vibrating with suppressed energy. "So. Lucian. Explain to me—in detail—why my sister is treating you like a pillow."
"I... I was just a victim of a magical tea accident!" Lucian squeaked. "Asia brewed it! Akeno enchanted it! I was just the observer!"
"An observer who stayed in the room?" Sirzechs leaned forward, his voice a low growl. "An observer who saw... everything?"
"I wore a bandana! I was blind!"
"He's lying, Brother," Rias added helpfully, stroking Lucian's hair. "He saw exactly what he wanted to see. He's quite the dangerous fellow."
"I am going to fry you," Sirzechs whispered. "I am going to toast you until there is nothing left but crimson ash."
"Grayfia!" Lucian shouted at the ceiling. "SAVE ME!"
Suddenly, the door opened. Grayfia stepped in, carrying a fresh pot of tea. She looked at the scene—Lucian in Rias's lap, Sirzechs on the verge of a meltdown, and the room in shambles.
She walked over and placed a cup of tea in front of Sirzechs. "Sirzechs-sama. Drink your tea. You are overreacting."
"Overreacting?! Grayfia, look at them! He's... he's in her lap!"
"He is exhausted from the Rating Game you allowed him to fight," Grayfia said calmly. She then turned to Lucian and placed a hand on his forehead. "You still have a slight fever. Rias-sama, please ensure he stays warm."
Sirzechs looked at his wife, then at his sister, then at the cousin who was currently being doted on by the two most powerful women in his life.
"I have no authority in my own house," Sirzechs muttered, slumping into his chair. "I am the King of the Underworld, and I am being ignored by a Bishop."
"It's okay, Big Brother," Lucian said, finally relaxing a little as the death-aura faded. "You still have your paperwork."
"I hate you," Sirzechs said, though he finally took a sip of his tea. "If I find out you've been 'observing' anything else, Lucian... not even Grayfia will be able to find your remains."
Lucian looked at Rias, who was smiling victoriously, and then at Tamamo, who was curled up on the rug, laughing silently.
I survived, Lucian thought, closing his eyes. I'm the only man in history to survive a Sis-con Satan's trial. I should get a medal. Or at least a raise.