Day 1 - The Bathtub Standoff, Continued
Patricia checked her watch for the fifteenth time.
One hour and twenty-three minutes.
Kalina had been in that bathtub for one hour and twenty-three minutes, and her first video conference was supposed to have started twenty-three minutes ago.
She knocked again. Louder this time.
"Miss Levesque! Please! The LOMIKA design team has been waiting for over twenty minutes! They're sending me increasingly aggressive emails!"
Silence.
Well, not silence. She could hear faint music leaking from under the door.
Is that... ocean sounds?
"I can hear the waves, Miss Levesque! I know you're awake!"
More nothing.
Patricia pressed her forehead against the door and whispered a prayer to whatever patron saint protected personal assistants from nightmare bosses.
Then the lock clicked.
The door opened.
Kalina stood there in her pajamas—expensive silk ones, naturally—with her hair in a messy bun, pillow creases on her face, and the most serene expression Patricia had ever seen.
"Good morning, Patricia," Kalina said sweetly. "Lovely weather we're having."
Patricia's eye twitched. "It's 10:23 AM. You missed your meeting."
"Did I?" Kalina blinked innocently. "Oh dear. How unfortunate."
"Your father—"
"—is at his office and won't know unless you tell him." Kalina smiled. "Which you won't, because you don't want to lose your job on day one."
Patricia's mouth opened and closed like a fish.
She's right. Damn it, she's right.
"So here's what's going to happen," Kalina continued, walking past her into the bedroom. "I'm going to have a leisurely breakfast. Then maybe I'll look at some emails. Maybe."
"The quarterly reports—"
"Can wait."
"The investor call—"
"Can be rescheduled."
"Miss Levesque, you have FIVE COMPANIES—"
"Which have been running perfectly fine without my constant supervision for months!" Kalina turned to face her, arms crossed. "Patricia. Patty. Can I call you Patty?"
"I'd prefer Patricia now—"
"Patty it is! Listen, Patty. I appreciate my father's concern. I do. But I am recovering from a near-death experience. I have a concussion. I need rest."
"Your father said—"
"My father says a lot of things. Doesn't mean I have to obey all of them."
Patricia pulled out her tablet with shaking hands. "I have explicit instructions. If you don't comply with the schedule, I'm to report directly to Mr. Levesque—"
"Go ahead." Kalina shrugged. "Tell him I'm being difficult. See what happens."
Patricia hesitated.
Kalina's smile turned knowing. "He'll fire you for not being able to handle me. Not me for being difficult. After all, I'm his daughter. You're... replaceable."
The words hit like a slap.
Oh, she's good, Patricia thought with grudging admiration. Evil, but good.
"So," Kalina said cheerfully, "I'm going to get breakfast now. Would you like some? The kitchen makes excellent waffles."
And she walked out of the room, leaving Patricia standing there, clutching her tablet, wondering how her dream job had turned into a nightmare in less than three hours.
Day 1 - Lunch (After Much Struggle)
Patricia had managed—through sheer force of will and possibly divine intervention—to get Kalina to attend ONE meeting.
One.
Out of five scheduled.
The LOMIKA design team had been... diplomatic about the boss showing up ninety minutes late in pajamas with a coffee mug that said "I woke up like this (reluctantly)."
Now it was lunchtime, and Patricia was determined to regain some control.
"Your lunch is ready, Miss Levesque," she announced, setting a beautifully arranged plate on Kalina's desk. Grilled salmon, quinoa salad, steamed vegetables. Healthy. Nutritious. Approved by the nutritionist Patricia had consulted.
Kalina looked at the plate.
Then at Patricia.
Then pulled out her phone and ordered McDonald's.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Patricia shrieked.
"Ordering lunch."
"I BROUGHT YOU LUNCH!"
"You brought me rabbit food. I want a Big Mac."
"You're recovering from a head injury! You need proper nutrition!"
"I need happiness, Patty. And happiness is a Big Mac with extra fries."
"Your father specifically said—"
"My father isn't the one with the concussion!" Kalina's order went through with a satisfying ding. "Delivery in thirty minutes. Want anything?"
Patricia stared at the healthy lunch she'd so carefully prepared.
Then at Kalina's smug face.
"An Oreo McFlurry," she said flatly.
Kalina's eyebrows shot up. "Really?"
"If I'm going to fail at this job, I might as well enjoy ice cream while it happens."
A surprised laugh escaped Kalina. "Added to the order."
Day 2 - The Email Incident
Patricia had learned from yesterday's mistakes.
She'd woken up at 5 AM to prepare. Had Kalina's schedule printed in triplicate. Had backup plans for the backup plans.
She knocked on Kalina's door at exactly 7:30 AM.
"Miss Levesque! Good morning! Rise and shine!"
Groaning from inside.
"I've prepared your outfit for the day, organized your morning emails by priority, and made sure your coffee is the perfect temperature!"
The door opened.
Kalina stood there in a sleep mask pushed up on her forehead, squinting.
"What time is it?"
"7:30 AM!"
"Why do you hate me?"
"I don't hate you, Miss. I'm helping you succeed!"
Kalina shuffled to her desk, sat down, and stared at her laptop like it had personally offended her.
Patricia pulled up the email queue. "You have forty-seven emails that need responses today. I've color-coded them by urgency. Red is—"
Kalina's finger hovered over the keyboard.
Then she pressed a button.
Delete. Delete. Delete. Delete.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Patricia lunged for the laptop.
"Inbox zero, baby!" Kalina kept clicking. "Thirty-six... thirty-five... thirty-four—"
"THOSE ARE IMPORTANT BUSINESS EMAILS!"
"If they're really important, they'll email again!"
"THAT'S NOT HOW EMAIL WORKS!"
"Isn't it though?" Kalina paused, finger hovering over one message. "Ooh, this one's from Mireille. She wants to get coffee." Click. "Accepted!"
"You just deleted TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS in potential investor communications!"
"Did I?" Kalina looked genuinely unconcerned. "Whoops."
Patricia grabbed the laptop and clutched it to her chest protectively. "I'm keeping this."
"That's technically theft—"
"I DON'T CARE!"
They glared at each other.
"You give me back my laptop, or I'm going back to bed," Kalina threatened.
"You go back to bed, and I'm calling your father!"
"Go ahead! He loves me more than he respects you!"
"That's—that's—" Patricia sputtered. "That's PROBABLY TRUE, but still!"
Kalina grinned. "Face it, Patty. You can't control me."
"It's PATRICIA!"
"Not anymore it's not!"
Day 3 - The Schedule Rebellion
Patricia had created a new strategy: compromise.
If Kalina wouldn't follow the full schedule, maybe she'd follow half of it.
"Okay," Patricia said, sitting across from Kalina at breakfast. "What if we do four meetings today instead of six?"
Kalina chewed her toast thoughtfully. "One."
"Four."
"One."
"Three is my final offer."
"One meeting, but I get to pick which one."
Patricia considered this. "Deal. But you have to actually show up on time and be present."
"Define 'present.'"
"Awake. Paying attention. Not online shopping."
"That's a lot of conditions—"
"KALINA."
"Fine! Deal!" They shook hands.
The meeting Kalina picked was a fifteen-minute check-in with the Fruit Shakers marketing team that required minimal input.
Patricia realized she'd been played approximately four hours later.
Day 4 - The Wardrobe War
"You can't wear that to a board meeting."
Kalina looked down at her outfit: sweatpants and an oversized hoodie that said "I'm not lazy, I'm energy efficient."
"Why not? It's accurate."
"It's a VIDEO call with your BOARD OF DIRECTORS!"
"They've seen me in worse."
"When?!"
"Never. But there's a first time for everything!" Kalina headed for her desk.
Patricia physically blocked her path.
"Absolutely not. You're changing."
"Make me."
They stared at each other.
"I outweigh you by like, ten pounds," Patricia said. "I will physically dress you if I have to."
Kalina's eyes lit up with unholy glee. "Is that a threat or a promise, Patty?"
Patricia's face turned bright red. "I—that's not—I meant—JUST CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES!"
"Only if you say please."
"PLEASE!"
"Please what?"
"Please change your clothes, Miss Levesque!"
"Hmm... no, I don't think so. Didn't sound sincere."
Patricia made a sound like a tea kettle boiling over.
Kalina laughed and went to change.
She came back wearing the exact same outfit but inside out.
"THAT DOESN'T COUNT!"
"You said change! I changed! The hoodie is now inside-out. Technically different."
Patricia decided she needed a raise.
Or therapy.
Possibly both.
Day 5 - The Food Fight (That Wasn't)
"I made you a healthy smoothie," Patricia announced, setting down a green concoction.
Kalina eyed it suspiciously. "What's in it?"
"Spinach, kale, banana, almond milk, chia seeds—"
"Nope." Kalina pushed it away.
"You haven't even tried it!"
"I don't need to. It's green. Green food is suspicious."
"It's HEALTHY!"
"So is exercise, but you don't see me doing that either."
Patricia grabbed the glass and shoved it toward Kalina. "Drink. It."
"Make me."
"I swear to God, Kalina—"
"Ooh, first name basis now! We're making progress!"
"DRINK THE SMOOTHIE!"
"ONLY IF YOU DRINK IT FIRST!"
"FINE!" Patricia grabbed the glass and took a huge gulp.
Her face immediately contorted.
"Oh my God," she gasped. "Oh my God, that's disgusting. Why is it so—" She looked at the blender. "Did I add the whole lemon? PEEL AND ALL?"
Kalina burst out laughing. Full, genuine, doubled-over laughter.
"Your FACE!" she wheezed. "Oh my God, Patty, your FACE!"
Patricia tried to maintain her dignity while her tongue felt like it had been assaulted by an angry citrus.
"I hate you," she mumbled.
"No you don't," Kalina said, wiping tears from her eyes. "You like me. Admit it."
"I absolutely do not—"
"You do! You think I'm funny!"
"I think you're a MENACE!"
Day 6 - The Breaking Point
It was 2 AM.
Patricia had spent the last four hours trying to prepare Kalina's presentation for tomorrow's investor meeting.
Because Kalina had "forgotten."
Patricia's eyes burned. Her head hurt. She'd consumed enough coffee to fuel a small vehicle.
She heard footsteps and looked up to see Kalina padding into the home office in pajamas, holding two mugs.
"Hot chocolate," Kalina said, setting one down beside Patricia's laptop. "With extra marshmallows."
Patricia stared at it suspiciously. "Why are you being nice?"
"Can't I bring my hardworking PA a drink?"
"No. You can't. You've spent six days making my life hell."
Kalina sat down in the chair across from her. "True."
"So what do you want?"
"I..." Kalina hesitated. "I wanted to say I'm sorry."
Patricia's exhaustion-addled brain couldn't process this. "You're... sorry?"
"I've been difficult."
"DIFFICULT?! You locked yourself in a bathtub! You deleted investor emails! You wore that hoodie to three separate video calls!"
"Okay, yes, I've been very difficult—"
"IMPOSSIBLE!"
"Fine! Impossible! But..." Kalina looked genuinely contrite. "I realize you're just trying to do your job. And I've been making it harder than it needs to be."
Patricia picked up the hot chocolate and took a sip.
It was perfect.
Just the right temperature. Just sweet enough.
"Why?" she asked quietly. "Why have you been fighting me so hard?"
Kalina was quiet for a long moment.
"Because for the first time in my life, people know the truth about me," she finally said. "I've spent years to be lazy, to be useless, hiding my intelligence. And now my father knows. My family knows. And I'm being forced to... to perform. To live up to this person I've been hiding."
"You're scared," Patricia realized.
"Terrified," Kalina admitted. "What if I'm not as good as everyone thinks? What if I fail? What if—" She stopped. "What if being forced to care about things ruins the things I actually care about?"
Patricia understood, suddenly.
The bathtub hiding. The deleted emails. The resistance.
It wasn't about being difficult.
It was about being afraid.
"You won't fail," Patricia said firmly.
"You don't know that."
"I do, actually. Because I've spent six days watching you. And you know what I've learned?"
"That I'm a nightmare boss?"
"Well, yes. But also..." Patricia smiled. "You're brilliant. The way you solved that design problem in the LOMIKA meeting when you thought I wasn't paying attention? The notes you left on the Fruit Shakers report that you claimed you 'barely looked at'? You're good at this, Kalina. Really good. You're just scared to admit it."
Kalina looked at her for a long moment.
"You're annoyingly perceptive, Patty."
"It's Patricia—" She stopped. Sighed. "You know what? Fine. You can call me Patty."
"Really?"
"Only you. Anyone else tries it, and I'm throwing smoothies at them."
Kalina laughed. "Deal."
They sat in comfortable silence, drinking hot chocolate at 2 AM.
"We're still finishing this presentation though," Patricia said.
"I know."
"And you're still wearing actual business clothes tomorrow."
"Don't push your luck."
Day 7 - Evening
Patricia collapsed onto her sister's couch with all the grace of a dropped bag of potatoes.
"Kill me," she groaned into a throw pillow. "Just kill me now."
Her sister, Sarah, looked up from her book with amusement. "That bad?"
"Sarah. SARAH. She locked herself in a bathtub. For ninety minutes. On the first day."
"You mentioned that. Three times."
"Because it was TRAUMATIC!" Patricia sat up, wild-eyed. "She deletes emails! She wears pajamas to board meetings! She ordered McDonald's when I made her a gourmet healthy lunch! She's a MENACE!"
"Uh-huh." Sarah set down her book. "And?"
"And WHAT?! Isn't that enough?!"
"Trish, honey. You've been working for her for a week. If she was really that bad, you would have quit by now."
Patricia opened her mouth to argue.
Closed it.
"I... I can't quit. I need this job."
"Bull. You've had three other offers this month. You want this job."
"That's—that's not—"
"You like her." Sarah grinned. "Oh my God, you actually like her."
"I do NOT! She's infuriating!"
"Infuriating people don't make you hot chocolate at 2 AM."
Patricia's face turned red. "That was a one-time thing—"
"And they don't laugh at your jokes, or compromise on meeting schedules, or—wait." Sarah leaned forward. "Is she cute?"
"That's not relevant—"
"OH MY GOD SHE'S CUTE! You think your disaster boss is CUTE!"
"I—she's objectively attractive, but that doesn't—SARAH STOP GRINNING LIKE THAT!"
"You're doing this all wrong, you know," Sarah said, still grinning.
"Doing what wrong?!"
"The whole PA thing. You're trying to control her. To manage her. To make her fit into this schedule and this perfect corporate image."
"That's literally my job!"
"No, your job is to assist her. To support her in doing things HER way. Not your way. Not your father's way. Hers."
Patricia sat back, processing this.
"She's been pretending to be someone she's not for years," Sarah continued. "And now she's being forced to be authentic, and it's terrifying. She doesn't need another person trying to control her. She needs someone who sees her and accepts her. Chaos and all."
"But the schedule—"
"Forget the schedule! Work WITH her, not against her. Find out what she actually needs, not what you think she needs."
Patricia was quiet for a long moment.
"When did you get so wise?" she finally asked.
"Therapy. Lots of therapy." Sarah patted her shoulder. "Now go home, get some sleep, and tomorrow? Try actually asking Kalina what would help her instead of telling her what to do."
"And if she says 'nothing, leave me alone'?"
"Then you leave her alone. And you wait for her to ask for help." Sarah smiled. "Trust me. She will."