The café bell jingled, and I looked up from wiping the counter.
"Good morning, Ms. Lin." The delivery boy grinned, holding a box of pastries. "The bread's fresh, but… uh…" He glanced nervously over his shoulder. "…you might want to check the alley behind your shop."
I froze, mid-wipe. A normal person would have ignored that. I am not a normal person.
Dropping the rag, I stepped outside. Sunlight glinted off the edge of a blade buried in the dumpster. Someone had left a "message." Charming.
"Really? First week of retirement, and someone's already trying to ruin my peace?" I muttered, adjusting my apron like a professional waitress, not a killer who once executed five men before breakfast.
From the shadows, a man in sunglasses and a leather jacket stepped out, holding a bouquet of lilies.
"You Lin?" he asked. His tone suggested he had been sent to scare me. Or kill me. Or both.
"Yes," I said, smiling sweetly. "And you are…?"
He blinked. "Uh… delivery? Uh… fan?"
I sighed, because he clearly had no idea who he was dealing with.
"Cute. That bouquet is lovely, though," I said, tilting my head. "Do you always deliver flowers before attempting assassinations?"
He froze. "I—I'm not here to—"
"Good," I interrupted, unsheathing a hidden dagger from under my apron. Not that he'd need to know—I was retired, remember? But old habits die slowly.
He raised his hands. "Whoa! Hey! I'm not here for that! I… uh… I'm your… neighbor? New guy. Moved in across the street!"
I squinted. New neighbor. Of course. In my experience, "new neighbor" is underworld code for "I'm here to kill you… eventually."
"Mm-hmm," I said, tucking the dagger away. "Well, neighbor, welcome to the alley. Here's a tip: next time, flowersand smile work better than a hidden knife."
He laughed nervously, stepping back. "Right! Flowers and smile. Got it."
And just like that, he tripped over a loose brick, sending the lilies flying into a puddle.
I stared. He scrambled to pick them up, dripping wet and muttering apologies. I couldn't help itso I laughed. Just a little. It was… human.
"By the way," he said, looking up at me, drenched and defeated, "I could, uh… maybe help with the… trash problem?"
I raised an eyebrow. "You're volunteering for alley cleanup after nearly giving me a heart attack?"
He nodded sheepishly. "I mean… I thought… maybe I could make it up to you?"
I blinked. What kind of weird, dangerous, utterly charming neighbor trope is this?
And then I realized: maybe retirement in the underworld isn't going to be so quiet after all.
Because apparently, retirement comes with flowers, puddles, and idiots who insist on getting in your way.
And I, Lin Mei, former executor of the Crimson Syndicate, was going to enjoy every ridiculous second.