Soutarou's eyebrow rose and he said, "Well what have you decided, Plug Princess, Princess of the Land of Fire, The World's Best Medical Ninja, Tsunade Senju of the Sannin?"
Tsunade shakily said, "You're right… I am a failure… I'm wrong for not acknowledging those who came before and the sacrifices they made… But-"
Soutarou interrupted her and said, "If you're worried about something that's stopping you like your chakra's regressing because of your broken spiritual plane, you're starting to get past your physical prime, or you have some psychological condition like hemophobia don't worry I as your family member, will obviously help you overcome them."
Tsunade's eyes shook and she said, "How?"
Soutarou nodded before saying, "I'm guessing its hemophobia then… not exactly unrealistic imagine this. You're the absolute best medical ninja in the world, but when it matters you couldn't save the people you cared the most for… I think if that was me I'd develop a fear of blood too."
"Just some basic psychology, speaking of what the hell did you make Konoha's medical program into? Sure you made something, but it's so inefficient, it lacks proper care for its own caregivers, lacks a regulatory body, there aren't any standard rules, nor are there any policies in place to protect medical ninja, or the patients medical ninja work with."
"Forget all of that, these people don't even know how to prioritize saving lives. Ok let's say we forget all of that. You, yourself, are the biggest example of the failures of the current Konoha Health system! All these damn medical ninja's know are healing internal and external wounds, what about mental wounds? How many shinobi have we lost to suicide and mental health?"
"Hell someone like Sakumo Hatake died to it and you idiots still didn't figure out that Konoha's healthcare system is missing out on saving a large portion of lives and able bodied shinobi just because of mental and psychological issues that have clear patterns, diagnoses, and even treatment patterns. Let's take your case for example. The easiest way to overcome hemophobia is simple overstimulation or exposure."
Tsunade reluctantly nodded and sighed deeply.
Soutarou smiled before taking out a kunai and saying something absolutely horrifying, "Great! So that's right, we're going to drown you in my blood and keep doing it until you figure out how to heal me or watch me bleed out in your arms."
Soutarou then without hesitation drove a kunai straight into his stomach and threw himself at Tsunade who had just sat down.
Soutarou coughed a bit and said, "Dam, I think I drove it a bit too deep… well you have about twenty minutes before the blood loss starts affecting me badly."
Nono rushed over and was about to heal him when Soutarou smacked her hand away and said, "If you heal me I'll stab you, Shizune, and Kabuto and make her heal you guys instead and I can assure you my healing skills are nowhere near yours or hers so you'd probably die. Your choice Nono-nee-chan."
Nono hesitated before shaking the trembling Tsunade saying, "Do you hear this maniac he'll start killing us all if you don't heal him!"
'Damn Nono knows how to act well… I can manage stabbing Shizune and Kabuto… but Nono's a damn combat medical ninja and an elite jonin in terms of sheer skill. Which way am I going to manage to stab her? But obviously Tsunade's got like three braincells, one in her head and two in each of those massive heads of hers, so she hasn't realized.
Tsunade kept shaking, but she warily managed to raise her arm and gritted her teeth as her tears began to pour continuously out of her eyes. She then barely managed to get her chakra to work as her hand lit up in green and she shakily removed the kunai from Soutarou's gut and began healing him as her hands turned bloodly as she slowly, but surely began to focus and then she snapped into a trace and rapidly finished healing Soutarou. As she warily watched him. To which Soutarou like the maniac he really was took the kunai Tsunade had just pulled out and jammed it straight into his hand and said, "Oops I cut myself again Tsunade-nee."
He devilishly smiled at Tsunade and happily continued to smeer his blood all over her.
'Shit she better heal my hand fast. I'm going to pass out from blood loss at this rate.'
Kabuto on the other hand was having a field day thinking,
Just to sell Soutarou point to the once again struggling Tsunade Kabuto said in an overly dramatic horrified voice, "Oh no he's going pale! You have to save him, Tsunade-sama!"
Shizune who had already realized that these three were messing with Tsunade in the worst way possible decided to get back at Tsunade for never listening to her advice of not drinking and how she always gambled away their food money, stabbed her own hand and said, "Oh no! Soutarou-kun used a fuinjutsu trap and stabbed my hand. You have to save us, Lady Tsunade!"
Kabuto, Nono, Shizune, and Soutarou all shared a collective look as all four realized at this point Tsunade was just stupid. Just as Kabuto started coughing from being unable to hold back his laughter, Tsunade yanked out the kunai from Soutaou's hand and healed him in a jiffy before repeating the same for Shizune. Tsunade's expression was a bit dark and no one could tell what he was thinking before she smacked Shizune on the head and then smacked Soutarou over the head and then followed it up by ruffling his hair with his own blood. And she then began pulling his cheeks the way an aunty would before smearing as much blood all over him as possible.
Soutarou whose vision was already beginning to blur began cursing her out loud before collapsing into her arms.
~Tsunade POV~
Tsunade sighed before glaring at Shizune, Nono, and Kabuto. Tsunade in a flat tone said, "You've become such a joker since the last time I've seen you. Haven't you Nono? You used to follow me around like a little duckling always saying, 'Lady Tsunade' so politely… Now you join this brat in messing with me? Just because I had a little hemophobia? Perhaps I should smear this brats blood all over you. You seem to care quite a bit for him-"
Before Tsunade could even finish Nono had snatched him away and thrown open a scroll and immediately began a blood transfusion all the while Kabuto thought,
Kabuto put away his scroll and aided Nono by forcing down some minerals, and vitamins down Soutarou's throat all while using Mystic Palm to speed up his body's natural regeneration. All of which caused Shizune and Tsunade to raise their eyebrows. Tsunade said, "You guys… Ah whatever. Fine heal the brat so I can teach him a lesson… Though… How old are you, kid? What's your name?"
Kabuto responded, "Kabuto Morita. Soutarou's adopted elder brother, I'm turning seven soon."
Tsunade looked at him and pondered for a moment before saying, "Damn… are talented medical Shinobi just dropping out of the sky nowadays?"
Nono chuckled and said, "Between Soutarou and Kabuto, Kabuto's the one with the stronger medical ninjutsu talent. Soutarou's talent is in general administration and leadership, what happened before was just him putting a little of knowledge with his practical thinking along with his shameless boldness."
Tsunade's eyes widened before saying, "He really is shameless though… the first time he meets someone and he berates them and then tries to fix a psychological problem in one go…"
Kabuto spoke up, "That's just Soutarou's style… abrupt decisive action… with a dash of rash and reckless ideas. Though I believe you were a target of his long ago, Lady Tsunade."
Tsunade gently nodded her eyes still locked on to the short brown haired figure being healed by Nono…
~Soutarou POV, a few hours later.~
Soutarou grumbled, "Damn, I over did it…"
'Well regardless that was quick… even in the anime Tsunade got over her fear of blood really fast, its these idiots, Jiraiya, Orochimaru, Hiruzen, and Danzo that didn't know how to help her that caused her to be stuck in that loop for so long. No matter… Their failure leaves me with a massive opportunity… I was just thinking about how I could save the remnant Uzumaki and good thing I still need Tsunade to pretend she still has hemophobia… So I should send her on a quest… well let's wait, those guys should be here soon enough…'
Soutarou groaned as he felt how weak his body was at that moment. Still within a few minutes of Soutarou staring at the door, Tsunade herself walked in, alongside Shizune, Nono, and Kabuto.
Soutarou mumbled, "Took you guys long enough…"
Tsunade grinned at him and said, "That's what you get for doing that brat. Do expect me to save you next time you throw your blood self at me though."
Soutarou pouted and said, "Not even if I'm dying?"
Tsunade closed her eyes and smiled menacingly, "Try dying and I'll drag you out of hell myself and beat the shit out of you again and again until you beg to go back."
Soutarou muttered, "What a lovely elder sister I have…"
Tsunade's eyes softened for a moment before she realized that the brat was doing it on purpose again. Tsunade's smile got wider and more menacing as she said, "You're pretty good, aren't you? Manipulating me or rather trying to. What's your end goal?"
Soutarou seriously looked at her and finally said, "Well since it's that obvious. I'll be blunt. I truly do want to save the Senju. But not just the Senju… the Uzumaki as well. Grandpa left behind a lot of things, not only resources and growth materials. But information agents, intelligence networks, and he predicted a lot of the current future, along with the downfall of the Senju and Uzumaki. His next prediction is the eventual downfall of the Uchiha at the hands of their own. He even predicted the Nine Tails Attack as he theorized Madara Uchiha might not have died at the hands of Granduncle, Hashirama. Still I don't care very much about any of his predictions, as selfish as it is, I only care about those who are my own. As such…"
Soutarou motioned for Kabuto to bring over a map, which he then rolled out on his lap. He continued, "The remaining Uzumaki clan members. Or rather the scattered ones. Of the ones remaining there are only three known members. The reason I tried to manipulate you and need a full functioning Tsunade Senju is not so you become Hokage, rather I still want you to pretend you have hemophobia all the while retrieving the lost members of the Uzumaki Clan, our distant cousins. For the next few years you must build your strength, and retrieve as many Uzumaki as possible starting with these three."
Soutarou then pointed at the map saying, "The Land of Grass, Kusagakure. Where two Uzumaki, once three members are. One is the mother, one was the father, and the last is the daughter… All three are extremely talented and possess both the Mind's Eye of Kagura and the innate healing factor of the Uzumaki. Unfortunately, Kusagakure rather than protecting their bloodline has used them as nothing more than a blood bag. The second location is far, far away in the Land of Sea, in an offshore remote island research base. Her name is Honoka and she is known to possess the adamantine sealing chains along with an inheritance of Uzumaki sealing techniques. Unfortunately the project they are working on, the so-called ultimate summoning beast, is not only a failure, but likely to take her life as only she can restrain it at this moment. I'm essentially assigning you a mission to bide your time and save our allies. When the time is right you'll know, I won't even have to call for you. Still I have a method of communicating…"
Soutarou looked over at Kabuto who then opened a drawer of Soutarou's and pulled out five pairs of sealing tags laying them in front of Soutarou. Soutarou then continued, "This is our method of communicating. It's not super innovative, but no one else uses sealing tags like this. As you know sealing tags can be used and burned in pairs, these tags do nothing except burn in pairs, no matter the distance. This black tag means, return to Konoha immediately. This blue tag means to communicate immediately. This red tag means "I miss you, come see me." And this white tag… this tag means you've retrieved the Uzumaki clan members and have begun your search for the rest and training. As for the Uzumaki in Kusagakure… My suggestion is to simply pretend to be a Kumogakure shinobi pretending to be an Iwa shinobi. Purposely use earth style jutsu at first, but as your assault continues let your 'transformation' jutsu fail and reveal yourself as a darker skin toned Kumo ninja. At that point you should begin to use lightning style. My correct suggestion is to focus on the Uzumaki clan member in the Land of Sea, as she's in more peril than the two in Kusagakure are for the time being, however, it's up to you. Of course as I get more information I'll have it relayed to you. That's basically it. Our Senju clan no longer has the manpower to achieve this, so of course I needed our only Kage Level shinobi back. So what if I have to manipulate you? So what if I had to use inappropriate methods? The main thing is… you're back even if you choose not to pretend you have hemophobia any longer. I won't hold it or say anything against you. Because you're Tsunade, the Slug Princess. The one who defined an entire system of jutsu. So as long as you acknowledge that you're a Senju that's enough, in enough time I'll go save the Uzumaki no matter what you do… So?"
Tsunade looked at Soutarou with a complex expression and said, "You're really like Second Grandpa… I 100% see the relationship now… as for what you just said…. Is that even a question? You're forgetting that I'm an Uzumaki as well and you were wrong about something… I never abandoned those I cared for. Never. Otherwise I would have long left Konoha as a rogue ninja… So is that even a question? Of course I'll save them… as for why you want me to pretend I still have hemophobia, I can take a guess… You have a plan for the old man… Alright I agree… I'll save our clan little brat. Remember I'm doing this… Because I'm Tsunade. Tsunade Senju."