Knock Knock, who is it? It's me, Karma. Open the door, Crystal. As she opened the door, giving me a look with disgust, I immediately walked past her and went to the stash and started chopping up the dope, carefully counting each rock to see what the outcome could be. Suddenly, Crystal started smoking from her bong. She then walked around me, approached from behind, and kissed me on the neck. I jumped, turned around, grabbed her by the hands, and asked her, "Why are you doing this?" Crystal replied angrily, "Why not? I thought we were in a relationship." Looking confused, I yelled at her, "This is a business relationship," but deep down I was scared. I never dealt with a woman before. I had to tell her something, look crystal this drug business, we are doing this to help our families. Crystal, looking at me with pain in her eyes, slammed a bag of ecstasy on the table and walked off. I stared at the bag, knowing I didn't want to take these pills all the time, but I knew I couldn't do anything without it. Feeling defeated, I grabbed the bag, opened it, and placed it on my tongue. The taste of it made my body shiver; it tasted like the love I always needed.
After I had cut and bagged up all the dope, Crystal returned to the room with a joint in hand, smiling. "Have you ever?" she began, but I interrupted, "No." Crystal smacked her lips and placed the joint to my lips, and we sat the rest of the time in silence counting each rock. We can make extra off this bag, I'm estimating 1000," I said to Crystal it's time. Let's go, Cream.
On our way to the block, when we arrived at 1 a.m., we kept the same routine as the first night. As the wee hours of the morning approached, we were almost sold out. Suddenly, a car started coming down 17th Street very slowly. Crystal was always the lookout to make sure it wasn't the cops. The car then turned off its lights. Crystal ran up to me, grabbed my arm, "Karma, a sketchy car, look." The car pulled up and the back window rolled down. A man with a baseball cap and gold teeth leaned out of the window and asked, "What are you girls doing out here? And what are your names?" Neither of us replied. "Oh, silence doesn't scare me," he said. "Listen, if I ever see you on my block again, I will kill you." He pulled out a gun and pointed it at my head as Crystal ducked behind me. "That's a promise," he yelled. The window rolled up and the car sped off.
Crystal started crying, pulling on my jacket. "See, I told you it's not safe. Let's go home, please." I stood there with a puzzled look on my face, then said angrily, "I don't give a damn, don't no bastard scare me. I must provide for my family." I turned and walked back toward the trolley. "You can go home and sit this one out," I said with determination. Crystal walked across the street and sat on the ground. I walked around and sold every piece I had left. It was then 7 a.m., the daylight broke through the sky as birds chirped energetically. I looked at Crystal and said, "I'm going to meet Marco. Go home now." Crystal, wanting to tag along, but I refused to let her get hurt. Keeping my promise to protect her, Crystal hugged me tight and walked away to go home.
As I walked through the gate of an abandoned house and called out, "Marco! Marco, I'm here." Marco emerged. "Hey, you're here early," he said, looking surprised and tired. With a furious expression, I demanded, "I need a gun." Marco, slightly amused, replied, "I'm pretty sure you do. Just don't shoot me," he laughed. Nigga, I'm dead serious, "I need one now." Seeing my facial expression, Marco said, "Damn, babygirl, are you sure? This really ain't you. I can slowly see you starting to change. Are you ok?" I looked him in his eyes with no words, just heavy breathing. He made a phone call. "I can get you one for 700 dollars," he said. "Done," I responded without hesitation. "It's on the way now, and I'll throw in the bullets at no charge," Marco assured her. Karma then asked, "I need another bag," while passing him 225 dollars. Marco grabbed a bag out of his drawer and tossed it to her.
I sat on the floor, chopping up more dope while waiting for my gun, replaying the incident with the man in the car pointing his gun towards my head. It filled me with anger. I was tired of living in fear and knew I couldn't let my mother, brother, and children live on the street. "The gun is here," said Marco while he went out back to get it. I had a look at my hands and whispered to myself, do whatever you need to do to protect the ones you love. Marco walked in and passed a small black pistol into my hand with a cartridge of bullets. I walked into the other room, loaded the bullets, looked at myself in the wall mirror, pointed the gun, and declared, "I'm not scared of anyone. It's time they fear me." Over and over until I felt each word pierce inside of me.
Determined to get the money despite my exhaustion, I quickly popped another ecstasy pill, grabbed my gun and the bag of crack, and headed straight back to the block. I stood alone on the block, my eyes constantly scanning my surroundings. Before I knew it, I had been there all day, tirelessly going back and forth to Marco to double up my money. My mission was clear, collect as much money as possible. As exhaustion began to settle in, I hadn't slept or eaten, and the fatigue was becoming overwhelming. But I couldn't stop.
For my next re up, I made my way back to Marco. He noticed the dark circles under my eyes and the weariness on my face. "Hey, Karma," Marco said, concern in his voice. "I'm not sure what's going on with you, but I suggest you get rest." He offered me some food and a blanket. I didn't argue with him, I felt like my body was going to collapse. I ate and allowed myself to rest.
Back at Crystal's house, Crystal had just woken up, her mind immediately drifting to Karma. She hadn't heard from her all day and was growing increasingly concerned. She decided to check in at Karma's house, where she found Karma's mother, Landa, looking anxious. "Is Karma home?" Crystal asked. Landa started to panic. "Oh my God, I thought she was with you, Crystal," Landa said, her voice trembling. Tears began to form in Landa's eyes as worry took hold. Trying to reassure her, Crystal said, "It's okay, she's probably just at our other coworker's house." She knew she had to calm Landa down. "I'll go find her and bring her home," Crystal promised. Hugging Karma's mother, Landa, goodbye, she ran out the door.
Crystal's heart raced as she returned to the block, looking for any sign of Karma. Her mind was filled with worry, haunted by the memory of a guy who had once pulled a gun on Karma. So many thoughts, oh my goodness, what if she had been kidnapped? She spent hours searching, knowing she was Karma's only friend. Then a thought struck her, oh, Marco's place. When Crystal arrived, she found Karma lying on the floor, wrapped in a blanket. Relief washed over her as she rushed to Karma's side, gently kissing her forehead to wake her.