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Chapter 3 - Chapter 2:The Laziest Anomaly Alive

High above the clouds, where the four suns burned cold and the celestial palaces sat in a silence that had its own weight, the deity stood before a throne made entirely of light.

Not decorated with light. Made of it. The kind that doesn't warm anything.

"Report."

The Master of Heaven's voice didn't boom. It didn't need to. It simply arrived — low and ancient, the sound of mountains deciding to speak.

The deity bowed until his starlight robes pooled against the floor. "He is more than we anticipated, My Lord. I stood in that room and felt the God Seed breathing inside him — even sealed, it pressed against the walls like something that has already made up its mind about where it's going. And I will be honest with you." A pause. "If he wakes even two of those pillars, I lose."

A long silence stretched across the throne room.

"Then we wait," the Master of Heaven said finally. "The seal holds for fifteen years. When it weakens, we will see what he has become." He shifted, light bending around him. "Keep the Heavens quiet until then."

The deity straightened, said nothing, and hoped fifteen years was enough.

Something told him it wasn't.

Back on the Universal Planet, in the loud and completely undignified city of Neo-Asia, nobody was keeping anything quiet.

"XIAO FENG. IT IS SEVEN IN THE MORNING. YOU ARE GOING TO SCHOOL."

Lin Xia's voice carried up two flights of stairs, through a reinforced door, and directly into the pillow that Ye Feng had pulled over his own head with the focused determination of someone treating sleep as a survival skill. Five years had passed since the impossible night of his birth. The infant who had floated in a vortex of divine energy had grown into a five-year-old who was currently refusing to acknowledge that the concept of morning was real.

The voice reached him. Mothers' voices always do — they operate on a frequency specifically designed to bypass every known defense. But the small lump under the blankets didn't move. The only evidence of life was the slow, steady rise and fall of a blanket nest assembled with the architectural commitment of someone who had done this many times before.

Down the hallway, Ye Mei heard her mother and did what she always did: moved toward the chaos.

She was ten now, already carrying herself with the confidence of a girl who had spent five years being the most capable person in any room she entered. She wanted to see her little brother in his school uniform. She had opinions about whether it would fit correctly.

She reached his door and pushed. Nothing. She pushed harder. Still nothing. She put her shoulder into it. The door held with the specific stubbornness of a door that had decided it wasn't moving.

Inside the room, Ye Feng had not opened his eyes.

He had simply become aware of footsteps in the hall and made a small decision. The lock clicked shut on its own. The air around the doorframe thickened — quiet, invisible, the Void Dragon stirring just enough to reinforce the wood before settling back down like a large animal annoyed at being disturbed.

They keep making noise, Feng thought, pulling the pillow tighter. Why is school so early. Why is everything so far away. Why does anyone do anything before noon.

He went back to sleep.

Downstairs, Ye Zhan was on his second coffee.

He sat at the breakfast table with a stack of clan documents in front of him that he was not reading, staring at them the way a man stares at things when he's actually thinking about something else.

"He's not coming down," he said.

"He's coming down," Xia said, from the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed.

"He's not coming down."

"He is coming down."

Ye Zhan looked at his wife. Looked at the stairs. Looked back at his wife. "You know what he did last Tuesday when Mei tried to wake him? She was standing in the hallway and then she was in the garden. Nobody saw it happen. She didn't see it happen."

"He was half asleep," Xia said firmly. "He didn't mean it."

"The koi pond was three miles from this house."

"He is five."

"I know how old he is." Ye Zhan took a long sip of coffee. "I'm just saying."

Xia turned away before her face could prove his point. She looked instead at the twelve bodyguards lined up along the foyer wall — elite men, every one of them, the kind of cultivators that lesser clans built their entire defensive strategies around. Battle-hardened. Highly trained. Expensive.

They were staring at the staircase with the collective expression of men who had made peace with their lives not going the way they'd planned.

"Madam Ye," the lead guard said carefully. He was built like a doorway, with a face that usually conveyed zero emotion in any circumstances. Right now it was conveying quite a lot. "With respect — perhaps you could go instead?"

"You're guards," Xia said. "Twelve of you."

"Yes, Madam. Last time I tried to wake the Young Master, I came to consciousness in the koi pond. The one three miles from here. I don't know how long I was in the air." A pause. "I would prefer not to know."

Xia smiled at him. It was a warm, reassuring smile that meant nothing good for anyone in the room. "Be gentle," she said.

The guards went upstairs like men walking into something they couldn't see the bottom of.

They got the door open eventually, with combined effort that probably should have been enough to move a small building, and the lead guard drew breath to speak.

The world stopped.

Not dramatically. Not with a sound or a flash of light. It simply stopped — the way someone turns off a switch. The dust in the air hung perfectly still. The guard's voice stayed folded in his throat. The morning light coming through the curtains froze mid-movement.

In the bed, Ye Feng sat up.

He yawned — an enormous, jaw-cracking, deeply committed yawn — and blinked at the twelve frozen men standing in his room with the mild curiosity of someone who has woken up to strange things often enough that strange things have stopped being interesting.

Hm, he thought.

He tilted his head at the nearest guard, whose face was stuck mid-shout. He tilted it the other way. He looked at his own hands.

They're being weird. I'm hungry.

He climbed out of bed, stepped around the frozen bodyguards with the easy navigation of a child who has never considered that this situation might be unusual, and wandered downstairs. His parents were statues at the breakfast table. His sister was frozen mid-stride in the hallway. He considered them briefly.

Then he went to the kitchen, found his bag of spirit-honey crackers on the third shelf, ate half of them sitting on the counter, thought about eating the rest, decided to save them, and wandered back upstairs.

The moment his head touched the pillow, time came back.

It didn't ease back. It snapped.

The lead guard's shout completed itself and hit nothing. The pressure released all at once, and all twelve men left the room in the manner of objects that had been decided against — through the doorway, down the hallway, down the stairs, arriving at the bottom in a configuration no formal guard training had ever anticipated.

Ye Zhan looked up from his coffee. He looked at the pile of guards. He looked at his coffee. He took another sip.

Lin Xia had been a patient woman for five years. She walked to the bottom of the stairs, took a breath, and deployed the only weapon in existence with a one hundred percent success rate.

"Xiao Feng," she called. "If you are not down here in ten seconds, I am taking every snack in this house. No honey crackers. No mooncakes. No spirit-fruit jellies. Nothing. For a month."

Silence.

Then — whoosh.

He was just there. Present. At the bottom of the stairs, uniform on, bag on his back, hair impeccable, one cracker still hanging from the corner of his mouth. The motion scanners installed in Aetheria's security grid would have filed a malfunction report — the numbers would not have made sense.

He looked at his mother.

"I'm ready," he said, in the flat voice of someone present but not yet committed to consciousness.

Ye Mei, from her spot in the hallway, stared at her little brother with wide eyes and the beginning of a grin she wasn't fully controlling.

Ye Zhan set down his coffee. He pointed at his son with the gravity of a man who has survived thirty years of cultivation and two divine interruptions and is now applying that same seriousness to a school morning.

"Listen to me very carefully. Normal. You act normal today. No stopping time because the lesson is dull. No moving things. No making teachers float. You sit in a chair, you listen, and you behave like a child who does not know the laws of physics are negotiable. Am I understood?"

Feng looked at his father. There was a pause that contained an entire philosophy.

"Fine," he said.

He turned toward the door. School, he thought, with the resignation of a man facing something inevitable. More people making noise at me. Hopefully there is nap time.

"What a brother," said Ye Mei, shaking with something between laughter and genuine concern. "Those teachers have absolutely no idea."

Ye Zhan watched his son climb into the transport, that familiar weight settling into his chest. Five years old. Playing with time the way other children played with blocks.

"Fifteen years," he said quietly, to himself.

In the back of the transport, the most powerful being in existence pressed his forehead against the window, closed his eyes, and immediately went back to sleep.

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