Daniel's name echoed through the auditorium.
— Daniel Azevedo de Souza!
A murmur ran through the row just behind him.
In Japan, names with so many syllables always caused a small pause in the air.
— Ué… nome comprido, né?(Brazilian expression of surprise, meaning something like "Huh… that's a long name, right?") — someone whispered.
Keiko, his best friend, gave a discreet elbow to the guy who commented.
— He's hāfu. His parents are Brazilian, but he was born here.
— Ahh… I see.
Daniel stood up.
The sound of applause filled the room, but he had already learned how to filter out the noise.
The suit was simple, but well fitted, highlighting his slender body. He didn't have the rigid posture of the other graduates; there was a lightness in his walk, a nearly imperceptible sway that revealed the heritage from the other side of the world.
Lightly messy brown hair, skin a little darker than average, a smile far too easy for a "standard" Japanese guy.
He walked up to the stage, opened that calm smile that disarmed anyone, and received the diploma.
Graduated in Game Design.
There should have been fireworks going off inside him.
There should have been an epic shounen soundtrack playing in his head.
But as he looked at the diploma, he thought:
"Oxi… nem parece que terminei. Era pra eu estar mais feliz, não?"(Brazilian expression of disbelief, meaning something like "Wait… it doesn't even feel like I finished. Wasn't I supposed to be happier?") — he thought, with that hidden Brazilian accent that only slipped out sometimes, outside of his thoughts.
Sometimes, Daniel felt like he was always playing someone.
The smiling version.
The version that never gets angry, never breaks, never shows how much it hurts to hear that he "doesn't feel anything."
Since childhood, for being hāfu, he learned to smile before people could laugh at him. He became an expert at hiding discomfort behind humor.
The truth?
He was terrified of being seen as "strange."
So he smiled.
Always smiled.
At least one phase had been completed.
The next one was still on "hard mode," but… I made it this far.
When he returned to his seat, Keiko nudged him.
— Finally, huh, man! Now all you have to do is become a famous dev and hire me.
Daniel laughed, letting out the air he hadn't even noticed he was holding.
— Relaxa, véi.(Brazilian slang meaning "Relax, man") — Keiko didn't even blink; he was already used to his friend's strange expressions. — I'll hire you to serve coffee. The good coffee, the one my mom makes.
— Tu só pensa em comida e anime, Daniel.(Informal Brazilian way of saying "You only ever think about food and anime")
— Speaking of food… my mom really went all out today. Wanna go to the plaza? — Daniel nodded toward the exit.
When they reached the wooden bench, he opened his backpack like someone revealing a treasure. He pulled out two coxinhas wrapped in aluminum foil and a can of Guaraná.
— Brasileiro não vai a lugar nenhum sem estoque de emergência.(Brazilian saying meaning "A Brazilian never goes anywhere without emergency supplies")
— Tá vendo?!(Brazilian expression meaning "See? I told you!") You're gonna end up becoming a waifu review YouTuber.
— Não me dê ideias.(Brazilian expression meaning "Don't give me ideas") — Daniel winked, half joking, half serious.
— The way you talk, you're gonna end up marrying a body pillow (dakimakura).
They stood up from the bench, brushing crumbs of dough off their dress pants. The mood was light, the taste of Guaraná still in their mouths. But reality has a terrible habit of ruining good moments.
When they returned to the outdoor area of the auditorium, Japanese formality had already begun to dissolve. The place turned into a sea of bows, laughter, flashes, and diplomas raised for photos.
Daniel instinctively felt the urge to hug everyone — a reflex inherited from so many warm "parabéns" from his Brazilian parents and some Brazilian acquaintances. But he held himself back. He limited himself to longer handshakes and smiles wider than local standards.
As they passed near the entrance to meet the rest of the class, a familiar voice cut through the air. Daniel recognized the tone immediately. It was Ichigo.
He instinctively stopped behind a wide concrete pillar. Keiko was about to ask what was wrong, but Daniel made a quick gesture for silence, the smile disappearing.
— …seriously, Daniel was a complete waste of a suit, right? — commented a sharp voice. Yumi.
— He's always been handsome — answered another, Yuki, with the tone of someone who judges even the brand of tea you drink. — But it's the kind of beauty that's useless.
— Why? — Yumi insisted.
— Because he's not really here, he lives in his own little world. — Yuki scoffed. — The guy lives in Narnia. Or better yet, in Akihabara.
Daniel felt his stomach go cold. The coxinha, which had felt like a reward moments ago, suddenly weighed heavy.
Ichigo let out a short, dry laugh.
— Insufferable. Dating him is like dating an NPC programmed to be kind.
— Wow, that's harsh — Yumi laughed.
— It's true. — Ichigo continued, and the hurt in her voice was real. — I tried to talk about feelings, about the future… and he changed the subject to talk about the "Hero's Journey" or some anime opening. And when he wasn't talking about anime, he brought weird food…
— Weird how?
— Stuff called paçoca, pão de queijo… I don't know.
The girls laughed quietly.
— He doesn't feel things like we do. He's… empty. It feels like the only thing he really cares about is anime.
Empty.
The word hit Daniel like a physical punch.
Keiko, beside him, frowned, ready to go confront them. But Daniel grabbed his friend's arm tightly.
— No — he whispered.
— He prefers 2D girls — Ichigo finished. — At least they don't expect him to be a real man.
The girls laughed and walked away.