Her exhaustion from the tough day pulled her under quickly into a deep sleep. However, unlike the rest of Kristens nights, this one would not be so kind to her.
..
.
.
Rubbing her eyes she sat up and blinked drearily.
She was small again for some reason.
There were no feathers on her body and certainly no muscle either; she was vulnerable just like she was on earth.
'Earth? Wait..nononoononoNO.'
Looking around she looked at her surroundings and found that she was in a small crib.
'Crib..wait...does that mean I'm a baby?
NOOOOOOOO-'
She screamed internally at the situation, not knowing if this was a dream or if her life as a bird was a dream confused her so much to the point that she had to grapple her head to ground herself.
The air felt so different, so wrong. It smelt like polished marble, expensive perfume and the burnt stench of cigars smoke clinging everywhere.
For some reason it was like everything was looking at her, judging her for who she was even though she was just a baby, barely a toddler.
This deeply intimidated her, even if they were just inanimate objects.
Shoving the panic into the deepest part of her mind like she did many times before, she looked around and noticed where she was. The ceiling above her was high and painted gold, chandeliers dripping crystals like frozen rain. She knew this place without wanting to.
The estate.
It was unfortunately the one memory of when she was a baby that she ever remembered.
Some voices echoed faintly down from the hallway outside of the room.
"She cannot stay."
The words were sharp and ruthless, cutting deep inside her heart.
"She is his blood."
"She's a weakness!"
Climbing out of the crib she stumbled down onto the ground with a small thud.
Kristen tried to move toward the sound, but her legs felt heavy and unsteady like a child's. She looked down. Small hands with bare feet against cold marble floors.
At the end of the corridor stood a towering pair of doors. Light spilled from beneath them. Shadows moved across the crack at the bottom.
A voice carried through. Deep and controlled.
"It's not personal."
The words twisted in her chest without mercy.
Another voice filled the room. "If others learn about this they will think us weak! Our own subordinates would not follow her."
At this, a glass shattered and silence followed after.
Kristen pushed the doors open with all her might and crawled through.
Inside was a long table with men in all black suits at each seat. None of them even bothered to look at her fumbling body.
Lifting her head she caught the gaze of the man at the head of the table, it was her father. He stared right back at her, expression motionless. But then his eyes softened for a moment, giving Kristen a glimmer of hope, it didn't last long as the gentle eyes quickly hardened.
"Take her away then."
Suddenly the room was full of movement, or maybe it was just that her head was bobbing up and down, it was hard to tell.
A maid clutched Kristen tightly in her arms, moving fast towards the front door. She bursted out and was met with pouring rain. Running towards an all black car she shoved the baby into the front seat and turned back towards the man at the door.
"She doesn't deserve this," the maid whispered to him, voice shaking with rage.
Kristen tried to look back, but the mansion blurred in window.
Then the door opened and the maid plopped down on the driver seat, starting the car and pulling out of the driveway.
"You'll be safer away from them," the maid said with teary eyes. "Safer away from him."
The nightmare twisted into something else as she spoke.
She was older now, switching past channels on the TV. Stopping on the news section, she saw organised crime summaries but her fathers name was never uttered.
It never was, but she knew he was there.
The nightmare shifted once more.
She stood once again in the estate, feet against the cold marble floors.
In front of the massive table just like before except this time the table was covered with dust and the floors with dark, ominous blood.
At the head of the table sat her father again but older.
"You were never meant to lead," he said calmly.
Behind him stood rows of faceless men in suits. They turned toward her in unison.
"She cannot stay."
"She cannot stay!"
"SHE CANNOT STAY!!"
The words echoed, growing louder and overlapping, filling the hall.
She looked down at her hands again. They were no longer small and they were no longer bare, instead, they were covered in feathers.
A small snapping sound echoed from above and just then the chandelier on top of her shattered, glass raining down like knives.
The reality around her started to shatter and break like glass, making sharp sounds each second that went by.
Kristen jolted awake in the cave, breathing ragged, claws digging into the woven twigs of her nest. The night had barely begun, which seemed impossible after what she had just experienced.
'It was just a dream...'
She hopped off the nest and gripped the stone floor hard, trying to ground herself from the horrible nightmare.
The steady drip of water helped her calm down. There were no men in black suits here, just her friends.
She walked over to the puddle of water and splashed it onto her face with trembling wings. Her whole body was shaking from what had just happened; the intensity of the voices at the end was what really terrified her.
Sitting down, she processed what had just happened.
It took around 5 minutes to fully relax and when she moved up and walked back to her nest she failed to notice Lucia staring at her in curiosity.
.
.
..
'Looks like that poor girl has some trauma she hasn't shared with us yet...eventually she probably will but for now it seems I must ignore my interests. At least she's trustworthy, and good company too hehe.'
As Kristen went to sleep Lucia stared at her for a few moments before doing the same.
..
.
.
Although Kristen tried to get some rest she wasn't able to catch a wink, the aftershocks of the previous night still with her.
She laid in her nest, trying to remove the thoughts of her emotional bruises from earth that had resurfaced in her dreams.
'Its not real..Its not real..STOP! God..get it together...it was just a nightmare..'
Tossing and turning, she let out an exasperated sigh.
Quietly, so she wouldn't wake the others, she climbed out of her nest and padded across the stone floor toward the shallow pool.
The surface reflected the mouth of the cave and, beyond it, a slice of night sky. The moon hung low and white, a beautiful picture looking back into her eyes.
She leaned a little closer.
Her reflection stared back at her like a different person. Dark feathers, young and confused eyes, with a clumsy body that still had eggshells on it. It was her past.
For some reason gazing into it felt as if she was looking at the deepest part of herself all at once. The trauma, the hate, all of it was just...there.
It was a little overwhelming and caused her to look away from the intensity.
'The hell? Its just water...god! I've been getting so worked up over anything, its pathetic.'
She scolded herself internally while moving back towards the water without even realising it. Looking at it again felt even different, like instead of gazing at herself, something was gazing at her.
The vulnerable and raw feeling returned, as if she was being seen at all angles with nothing covered. But the gaze looking at her wasn't like the hostile or judgemental ones from when she was a child.
It was comforting in a way, like she was confessing some dark secret and not facing any repercussions. Tears streamed down her eyes as she stared into the reflection of the moon, like her pain was being washed away slowly the more she looked back.
For a few seconds, she felt exposed.
As if all of the smart remarks in her head had disappeared, nowhere to be found. The only thing left was who she was at her core.
A small, fragile girl who knew nothing of the world. Someone who had to be taken care of her entire life. Someone who no one ever wanted.
Not a leader.
Not a son.
Not enough.
'No.'
A word as simple as that was all it took for the reflection to change to where she was now. Confident and proudly standing in front of her was a big, black raven. It didn't have anything to hide nor did it want to, no one could ever tell it who it was.
That was the way she did things now. Now she was a person who decided who she was for herself.
A ragged sigh escaped her as she realised that the suns rays were slowly awakening the world once more.
She had been there for longer than she thought.
Walking back to her nest, she waited for the other two birds to wake up.