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"I'm telling you, nobody in Gensokyo knows mushrooms better than me! Not even that quack doctor at Eientei. Does she dare to eat poisonous mushrooms? I do!"
"Listen to me! There are four ways to grill these babies, and each one unlocks a unique texture. You pair it with my secret sauce, and you'll be eating in silence, too busy ascending to heaven to speak!"
"I'm not saying you're small, kid, but you're a grown man! How can you be afraid of a little poison? It's just a mushroom that kills you instantly. You just gotta trust my Emerald Antidote!"
"Chug this bottle of Emerald Agent, and you'll wake up in Gensokyo in your next life! Cheers!"
Around the bonfire, everyone was politely roasting their preferred mushrooms. Everyone, that is, except Marisa.
She was swaying like a palm tree in a hurricane, a mushroom skewer in one hand and a bubbling green potion in the other, rambling nonsense with a completely glazed look in her eyes.
"What is wrong with her?" Leo asked, freezing mid-grill. "Can you actually get drunk off fungi?"
Seeing Marisa in this state, Leo didn't dare let her near the fire anymore. Except for the first few skewers she demonstrated with, Leo had taken over the cooking duties.
He was testing the new recipe.
Recipe: Grilled Mushroom Skewer (Learned from Marisa) Ingredients: Mushroom x2 Effect: Restores HP and Stamina (Amount varies by mushroom type). Sale price varies.
It was a very simple dish. Leo tasted one himself. Aside from restoring health and energy, it had no side effects.
Reimu ate one—no reaction. Yukari ate one—no reaction. Ran and Chen ate several—no reaction.
Only Marisa turned beet red after eating them and started babbling about her next life. It was so bad that Leo almost felt compelled to explain to Reimu that he hadn't spiked the food with any "weird ingredients."
"It's fine, don't mind her," Reimu said, taking a bite of her skewer with an indifferent expression. "Marisa is just 'Mana Drunk.'"
"Mana Drunk?"
"The mushrooms you grew contain high concentrations of magical energy," Reimu explained. "That amount is nothing to us youkai or... well, me. But Marisa is just a human. She ate so many that her body can't process the excess mana, so it's acting like alcohol."
Reimu chewed calmly. This was the confidence of the strong. If Leo had Reimu's stats—infinite mana and invincibility—he'd be just as composed.
"Then why is Chen fine? Isn't she a child?"
Leo pointed at the catgirl, then immediately realized it was a stupid question.
"Meow? Chen is already... well, I forgot exactly, but I'm many years old! I'm not a kitten, meow," Chen chirped. "Besides, Chen can pass excess mana to Lord Ran. Chen is Lord Ran's Shikigami!"
After speaking, the catgirl rubbed her head affectionately against Ran's arm, looking purely blissful.
"Name your price," Yukari interrupted, wiping her mouth elegantly. "I want as many of these mushroom skewers as you can produce. Gensokyo desperately needs a banquet where the food is actually edible for normal people."
After tasting the Grilled Mushroom Skewers, Yukari had made up her mind. She needed to present normal, delicious food to prove that Stardew Valley wasn't a toxic wasteland she invented to poison her political enemies.
"About that..." Leo calculated in his head. "I can't provide much right now. Maybe 6 crates a day. And if the yield contains Red Mushrooms, it'll be less. I need to keep a stash for myself."
He did the math. One crate (10 units) made 5 skewers. If he ate 20 skewers a day, he could achieve "Stamina Freedom" in the early game—clearing the farm in the morning and fishing all afternoon without passing out.
It was a pity Marisa's recipe was so basic. In the game, Fried Mushroom (Common Mushroom + Morel + Oil) gave massive buffs (Attack +2). Marisa's skewer was just simple addition: Mushroom A + Mushroom B = Double Healing. No special buffs.
"Common Mushrooms are 40g per crate. Chanterelles are 160g. Morels are 150g. Purple Mushrooms are 250g," Leo quoted. "Red Mushrooms are not for sale."
The Mushroom Cave wasn't a gold mine yet, but it was a stable income and a battery pack for his stamina.
"That's acceptable," Yukari nodded. "We just had that... unfortunate banquet two days ago, so my 'Reputation Points' need time to recover anyway. Saving up stock for the next one will be perfect."
She reached behind Ran and pulled out a fluffy, golden-furred wallet.
Side Note: The wallets used by the Yakumo household were made from the winter fur shed by Yakumo Ran. The product line included wallets, scarves, gloves, Chen's bed, and Yukari's pillows. The output was significant—she had nine tails, after all.
"What? You want one?"
Noticing Leo's gaze lingering on the wallet, Yukari smirked and shook it teasingly. The realistic fox tail swayed as if it were still attached to its owner.
"In your dreams. This is a household exclusive. If you change your surname to Yakumo, I might consider letting Ran make one for you."
"Lady Yukari!"
Ran's face flushed crimson. Even if it was shed fur, it was still part of her body. Having it dangled in front of a man like that was... embarrassing.
Add that to the 'Strange Fetishes of Tailed Races' list, Leo thought.
"Do you want a tail? Chen has a tail too! I can contribute one for you to pet, meow!"
Poof.
Chen transformed back into her black cat form, leaped into Leo's arms, and wrapped her twin tails around his wrist.
The fur was smooth, warm, and soft, yet firm with muscle. It was irresistible.
Leo began to suspect that Yakumo Yukari was a closet "Fluffy-Con." Why else would every servant in her house have such magnificent tails?
"It's decided!"
Leo suddenly stood up, holding the cat aloft with a look of grim determination.
"Fishing! Now! Immediately! Right away!"
"It's just 20 fish. I will conquer the ocean!" He looked at the cat in his hands. "Chen, would you like to come play in Stardew Valley permanently? I'll go fishing every day to feed you."
Leo hoisted the black cat into the air, striking a Lion King pose. Under the dying sunlight, the edges of Chen's black fur glowed with a sacred, golden halo.
"Meow?"
Chen tilted her head and looked at Ran. She really wanted to play here, but she was a good kitty who listened to her master.
Ran sighed, smiling softly. "You may. But Chen must act like a real child—no using mana, and no causing destruction."
"Meow! Lord Ran agreed! Chen wants to play!"
"Great! Let's go, kitty!"
Leo stuffed a handful of mushroom skewers into his backpack, grabbed his fishing rod, and marched toward the beach like a soldier going to war.
Today!
He would fight a bloody battle until the sun went down!