I floated through space, the ship gliding smoothly among the stars as if every movement were perfectly calculated by me. I leaned back in the cockpit, letting the planet's minimal gravity feel like a caress, my hands resting on the console. For a moment, I closed my eyes and let the tears flow. It wasn't just fear or joy; it was a cocktail of emotions I'd never experienced like this before.
"I think... I made it," I whispered to myself, my voice trembling. My memories of planet F45XMN came in waves, each image clearer than the last. I remembered my first falls, the cold black ground, the hollows that marked my childhood as Silica, and... my human life. That life seemed so distant now, so unattainable, yet I couldn't stop thinking about it.
There were days when I didn't understand anything that was happening, when I cried for my new form, for the gem I had become. Now, in space, with the vastness before me, I understood a part of what it was: resilience. It hadn't been easy adapting, and yet, here I was, with my ship fully equipped, with my tools, my power, and my choices.
I cried a little more, letting each tear feel light, almost as if it evaporated before touching anything. Perhaps they were tears of sadness, perhaps of relief, or perhaps of something more complicated that had no name. I remembered my old family, my human home, my friends, the ordinary days that seemed endless in their normality. Now, all of that was distant, as if it belonged to another life I could never reclaim.
"Why am I here?" I murmured as I gazed at the stars. The question floated in the silence of the cabin, echoing endlessly. My mind searched for answers, and while I knew some wouldn't come, others were beginning to surface. I had been placed here for a reason, though that reason wasn't yet clear. Perhaps to learn, perhaps to survive, perhaps to change the history of this gem universe in ways I couldn't even imagine.
Space was silent, but not empty. Every light that passed through the window seemed a reminder of how infinitely vast everything was, and how small I felt in the face of it. But it also reminded me of my capabilities, my strength, and my ingenuity. I wasn't human, I wasn't entirely what I once was, but I wasn't an ordinary gem either. I was something different, a flawed, imperfect Silica, but with the freedom to build and decide.
I sighed and rested my head against the cockpit window. I thought about the hardest times: the days I felt broken, the months that passed between repairing the power supply, the injectors, and rebuilding my ship. Every effort had brought me here, and now, gazing into the infinite, everything seemed to make sense, even if only a little.
"I cried for so long... and now, here, alone in space, I feel I can allow myself to think about myself," I said as my hands rested on my chest. My gem pulsed softly, reminding me that I was alive, that I had a purpose, and that, despite everything, I was whole. Perhaps that was the most important lesson: no matter how much damage your form or your body receives, what you are at your core doesn't break so easily.
My mind began to wander back to my previous life, recalling the routine, the comfort of predictable days, the smiles I had given and received, the moments when I was just another human, without pressure, without Silica's responsibilities. But as those memories surfaced, a strange feeling enveloped me: nostalgia mixed with gratitude. Yes, I had lost many things, but I had also gained others I could never have imagined. Power, knowledge, freedom to create and decide, and the possibility of exploring the universe.
"I am... different," I whispered as my fingers grazed the surface of the console. I felt more alive than ever, and yet, that previous human life called to me from time to time, like a soft echo I couldn't ignore. I reflected on every decision that had led me here: every mistake, every success, every tear, every moment of fear. Everything had built this version of me, this imperfect Silica who had managed to survive where others could not.
Space seemed like a giant canvas, and I was just a brushstroke on it. However, for the first time, I felt I could control the direction of my path, that I could decide my destiny without depending on empires, colonies, or the rules of perfect gems. I took a deep breath, though I didn't need to, and let a small trail of tears fall again. This time, they weren't tears of sadness or fear: they were tears of pure emotion, of hope and determination.
I began to plan, to think about the next steps. First, to explore other nearby planets, to better understand the systems, to test my ships and tools, to make sure every part of my creation worked as I expected. Then... perhaps to find other gems, if they existed, and to discover if there was a place where I could truly belong. It wasn't just about surviving, it wasn't just about exploring, it was about finding a purpose in this universe that seemed so cold and vast.
"Everything I did... every sacrifice, every tear... was worth it," I said with a thread of a smile as my ship glided among the asteroids and the light of distant stars illuminated my face. For the first time, I felt that solitude wasn't a punishment but an opportunity, a space where I could grow, learn, and be myself, without anyone dictating what I should be.
As I gazed at the cosmic horizon, I let the calm settle within me. I didn't know what awaited me, whether I would find answers to all my questions, or if I would ever see anything again that reminded me of my human life. But for now, that didn't matter. For the first time in a long time, I was at peace with myself.
The tears kept falling, yes, but now they were a mixture of relief, joy, and excitement for what was to come. I closed my eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and told myself, "Silica, this is just the beginning. Your journey has only just begun." And with that determination, I looked at the stars and let the ship carry me into the unknown, toward new adventures I couldn't yet imagine, but that I was ready to face.
Days, months, even a year would pass as I navigated through space, without encountering any Diamond ships. With a sigh, I leaned back in the cockpit, letting the ship continue its course among the silent stars.
"Am I sure I'm alone?" I murmured, my eyes scanning the cockpit's radar and screens. "No... I don't see anything, but... what if there's something lurking out there?"
My hands tightened on the controls as I checked the radar systems again. "No... nothing. Zero traces. Relax, Silica... relax," I told myself, trying to calm the paranoia that was starting to grow.
"But... what if there are cloaked ships?" I asked quietly, as if talking it over would help calm my mind. "No, don't open up... I don't need any trouble. I'm just... moving on, that's all."
I sighed again, letting my breathing return to normal. The cockpit was silent, save for the faint hum of the systems. "Damn paranoia," I muttered with a small, nervous laugh. "If I survived planet F45XMN... I can survive this too. I just... keep moving forward."
I gazed at the stars before me, and though the fear lingered, a sense of control and confidence began to settle within me. There were no Diamond ships, at least not yet, and that was enough for me to continue my journey into the unknown.
As I stared into the void of space, I couldn't stop thinking, mostly to keep my mind active and avoid succumbing to the monotony of the journey.
"Damn... what if my Lapis is alive?" I muttered, my eyes fixed on the stars that stretched endlessly before me. "Maybe... maybe she flew away, got lost in this... damn space," I murmured, tapping the console lightly in frustration.
I shook my head, feeling my heart race. "No, no... that doesn't make sense. If she'd surfaced, I would have detected her... hell, I should have by now."
"Damn it... why do I always have to worry about these things?" I said quietly, taking a deep breath. "Come on... think. If she were here, there would be signs, there would be traces... and there's nothing. Zero... not even a damn spark of energy. Perfect, just perfect."
I leaned back slightly in my seat, rubbing my face with my hands. "Well... I guess... she didn't emerge. No Lapis. Nothing at all. Just me... and this shitty space."
I sighed heavily, letting a few tears trickle down my cheeks. "Damn... this isn't how I wanted to start this trip. But oh well... shit, time to move on, Silica. Only I can handle this."
And with that, I forced myself to look ahead, toward the countless points of light indicating planets and stars, trying to put aside the absence of my companion and focus on what I had to do: survive, explore, and somehow find a place in this damned universe.
I shook my head as I stood up from the cockpit, feeling the slight creaking in my joints as I moved. This Silica body was strong, yes, but every movement still reminded me of the small imperfections in my programming. I walked toward the fuel area, watching the gauges that indicated the tank was dangerously low.
"Okay, let's focus... no distractions, no nonsense," I murmured as I placed my hand on the tank console. The diamond essence vibrated gently, as if sensing my presence and my intention to keep it steady. Every drop counted, every microsecond of focus was vital. "I can't afford a mistake... not now, not here," I reminded myself, feeling my heart race slightly at the weight of responsibility.
I carefully opened the valve and began to slowly inject the essence. The liquid light reflected in my eyes, illuminating my face and the cockpit. I took a deep breath, trying to keep my mind clear, controlling every thought that arose. "Yes... this is important. Everything depends on me, and if I lose focus... shit, everything's going to hell. No distractions, Silica," I said, speaking softly to stay alert.
As I watched the essence level slowly rise, I felt a strange tremor in my hands, a mixture of tension and excitement. "Breathe, control... every movement must be perfect," I repeated, focusing solely on the energy flow and the valve regulating the tank. Each adjustment was like a reflex, learned from months of training and experience, and I couldn't afford to falter.
I leaned forward slightly, adjusting the pressure and watching the essence settle inside the tank, bright and pure. It was fascinating and terrifying at the same time, the most powerful energy I would ever have under my control. "Yes... good... perfect... calm down, Silica. No losing your mind. This is what matters now," I whispered, concentrating so intensely that the rest of the space seemed to disappear.
Every now and then, a slight tremor ran through my back and jaw; signs of fatigue, but not weakness. My mind remained steady, and that was all that mattered. "Any distraction... shit, any useless thought could ruin all of this. Stay in control, stay focused... breathe," I repeated, feeling the tension slowly dissolve with concentration.
Finally, I adjusted the last valve, making sure everything was stable and secure. The tank glowed brightly, full and ready. I took a deep breath, letting relief wash over me, though I didn't let my guard down for a second. "Perfect. All under control... no one but me depends on this, and I did it. Well done, Silica. Well done," I murmured, watching the diamond light illuminate the cockpit as I felt that, at least for now, my mind remained calm.
End of Chapter 5.