Chapter 27: Catwoman and the Ex
"Whoa, David," Leonard appraised him. "That outfit... is it some kind of post-apocalyptic survivor or Special Ops?"
"Something like... a popular fashion on a future battlefield." David smiled, turning his gaze toward them.
Leonard was attempting to portray Frodo Baggins from The Lord of the Rings, wearing a brown vest and trousers, striving to convey Hobbit simplicity.
Sheldon, meanwhile, wore a tight-fitting jumpsuit adorned with concentric circular ripple patterns spreading outward, the color gradient moving from dark blue in the center to light red at the edges.
David's observation of their outfits hadn't finished when Sheldon's commentary began: "David, your attire attempts to merge camouflage and utility, but its aesthetic composition, to me, resembles the random projection of some non-Euclidean spatial geometry,
lacking a unifying theme. In contrast, my outfit clearly interprets a classic physical phenomenon."
Sheldon puffed out his chest, displaying the concentric ripple jumpsuit. "I am the Doppler Effect! Visually demonstrating the frequency shift caused by a moving wave source!"
David suppressed a laugh and replied seriously, "Sheldon, your Doppler Effect is very vivid, especially when you try to simulate wave source movement—the dynamic display effect is even better. However, if you accidentally trip, it might turn into the 'Doppler Faceplant Effect,' which would be another research topic."
Leonard immediately joined in, pointing at Sheldon's jumpsuit. "Seriously, Sheldon, you look more like a melting jawbreaker, or some weird microorganism under a microscope."
Sheldon immediately countered, "Leonard, your understanding of the 'Hobbit' you're portraying is clearly superficial. Frodo Baggins's courage lies in undertaking his mission, not in wearing a slightly tight brown vest. Furthermore, your height, even by Hobbit standards, appears somewhat excessively 'compressed.'"
While the three happily traded barbs, Howard and Raj arrived.
Howard wore a green Peter Pan costume; the tights accentuated his slight frame, and the feather on his hat bobbed as he walked.
Raj, meanwhile, was dressed as Thor, wearing a horned helmet and red cape, holding a plastic Mjolnir.
"I am Thor Odinson, God of Thunder of Asgard!" Raj declared in what he believed was a majestic tone.
Howard immediately said in his slick tone, "Our 'God of Thunder,' I hope your hammer isn't just for smashing the floor tonight. See if you can 'hammer open' some girl's heart instead?"
David laughed and chimed in: "Howard, are you, 'The Boy Who Never Grew Up,' planning on taking a 'Wendy' to Neverland tonight? But I gotta warn you, that tight green outfit makes you look more like a walking piece of asparagus."
Howard choked slightly and retorted, "Hey! At least I dare to show my 'heroic spirit'! David, did you just finish 'tactical dumpster diving' in some junkyard with those rags and camo?"
Raj attempted to uphold his Thor dignity: "My Mjolnir contains endless divine power! It is not something you can casually mock!"
Sheldon immediately interjected, "Based on Marvel Comics canon and limited Norse Mythology research,
Mjolnir's weight originates from its Uru metal composition and Odin's enchantment, which is incomparable to the polypropylene object in your hand, whose mass I estimate to be no more than 500 grams.
Your assertion contains serious discrepancies regarding physical properties and established lore."
The five men stood at the doorway, engaging in a fierce and chaotic exchange of insults, only interrupted when the party's host, Penny, dressed as a sexy Catwoman, opened her apartment door and announced the party's start—ending their "pre-game warm-up."
Penny's black leather outfit, cat ears, and alluring eyeliner made her exceptionally stunning among the crowd. More guests arrived, and the party atmosphere gradually heated up.
Just as things were getting lively, a tall figure appeared at the door—Penny's ex-boyfriend, the muscular Kurt.
He walked straight toward Leonard, slapping Leonard's shoulder with a large hand. "Hey, Four Eyes! Looks like you finally got Penny? I knew when you came to swap that TV with such 'balls' last time, you had a shot!"
Leonard opened his mouth to explain, but Sheldon, using his socially abrasive tone, spoke first. "Your inference contains a logical fallacy. Leonard and Penny have not currently established the romantic partnership you imply. They are merely geographically proximate neighbors and friends."
Leonard shot Sheldon a helpless glare, feeling backstabbed by a teammate. He tried to clarify to Kurt: "Sheldon's right, but we... we're very close now!" He intended to express friendly closeness, but to Kurt, it sounded vague and suggestive.
Kurt looked scornful. "I doubt that, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten an invite to Penny's party."
Leonard was stunned, finding it unbelievable that Penny had invited Kurt, but he quickly hid his surprise and responded with equal mockery. "Who knows? Maybe Penny just wanted to make her party more crowded. You're so huge, visually you count as like three people!"
Kurt's expression changed. "Are you insulting me?"
Leonard took a step back, smiling. "No. If I were truly insulting you, you definitely wouldn't understand it. Just take what I said as a compliment!"
Just as Kurt was pondering Leonard's last remark, Sheldon, as if the situation wasn't chaotic enough, suddenly interrupted to ask Kurt: "By the way, how is the operational status of the new television you 'acquired' from Leonard?" He deliberately emphasized "acquired."
Kurt shrugged. "It acts up sometimes—unstable signal, static—messes up my bodybuilding videos."
Upon hearing about a technical issue, Sheldon's "helpful" mode instantly activated. "Unstable signal? It could be a loose connection, RF interference, or internal component degradation..."
He grew more engrossed. "If necessary, I can come to your residence to perform an on-site diagnostic. These types of problems are usually straightforward to resolve."
Leonard couldn't take it anymore. He pulled Sheldon aside and angrily whispered, "Sheldon! Are you insane? You're going to fix the TV for the guy who extorted me?"
Sheldon looked puzzled. "Leonard, he is currently just an ordinary user helpless facing a faulty appliance. I cannot stand by when there's a technical predicament. You should be more magnanimous and not harbor irrational hostility simply because he's Penny's former romantic partner."
"My hostility isn't because he's Penny's ex! It's because he's a blackmailer!" Leonard almost growled.
"In my estimation," Sheldon analyzed, "you are merely perceiving a potential competitive threat due to Kurt's presence at Penny's party and are experiencing jealousy."
"I am not jealous!"
"You are. Your facial microexpressions and vocal changes are consistent with jealousy's physiological characteristics. Perhaps your subconscious has already sensed Kurt's ulterior motives for attending this party, such as his desire to rekindle his relationship with Penny."
"What? That's ridiculous... Penny would never go back to him, and you're not Kurt, how do you know what he's thinking?"
"Testing the hypothesis is simple." Having said that, Sheldon walked directly back to Kurt, and under Leonard's despairing gaze, asked bluntly: "Kurt, please answer honestly: Do you intend to re-establish a romantic relationship with Penny by attending the party tonight?"
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