I can just barely hear my door open up; forcing me to wake up.
As I look towards the door I can see Airi standing there with her lantern in her hand. A calm look on her face as she stares at me.
"Are you ready for me to teach you about the light that dwells within you?" Airi asks with excitement in her voice.
I give her a nod before getting out of bed.
"It'll be even better if this can help me out with awakening my power," I respond while stretching.
I follow her out of my room and into the main hall where all the seats have been moved. I can see a white board in front of me, with a bunch of stuff already written on it.
It isn't really worth trying to read it without the proper context.
I take a seat in one of the old chairs that are laying around the room. The same look of excitement is still on her face as she begins to point towards the board.
"I'll begin to tell you about the light now," Airi says with a smile on her face.
A couple of hours go by and I think I've finally learned quite a bit about the light.
The light within a human is the main reason we can even awaken in the first place... but it isn't always stable which is why some people turn into zierel.
There is a problem with the light flowing within me though; my body is constantly fighting against the infection which is causing me pain.
Pain that I can't just ignore.
Good thing I made a nice list of things to describe everything she taught me today. I'll make sure to keep this notebook handy in case I ever forget anything.
(Authors way to say it'll be more detailed in an auxiliary chapter.)
"There is still a lot for me to teach you but I don't want to overwhelm you either," Airi speaks loud enough for me to hear.
"I definitely think I learned a lot today. This alone is a big deal for me since it will help me understand my body a bit better," I reply calmly.
"It is good that you are taking this quite well," Airi says with relief in her voice.
Learning isn't my favorite thing to do, but I can handle it when it comes to Airi. She is the main person I need to help me with everything.
Tess couldn't teach me how to awaken... Or I guess she did try to help me. Her power is still a lot different from the light bearer so it wouldn't matter.
I still think it was the right decision to leave her back at the courtyard.
I'm sure Alice is upset that I disappeared so I don't want Tess to cause her anymore grief. Especially if Alice knows about her power since it could be quite helpful to them.
Being able to see into the future a bit is a extremely useful power to be gifted with.
"Anyway I need to rest a bit, feel free to relax for a bit," Airi speaks once more before leaving the room.
I watch as she leaves the room, taking in everything she taught me today.
My notebook definitely has quite a bit of notes down now which is helpful. Something about this room feels off today though, I'm just not sure what it is.
It almost feels like someone is watching me from somewhere within the room.
I don't think anyone else is inside of the church though so it is probably just my mind playing tricks on me. It does happen quite often with everything I've been through.
I'd like to believe that it is some sort of trauma that I can't get away from.
Constantly feeling like something is going to emerge from the shadows to kill me... That feeling is the worst. I'd kill whatever it is, if I need to.
I got up from my chair and went into my room after moving past the lingering thoughts.
It feels peaceful in this room so I can actually relax without any worry or stress. This is where I spend most of my time right now, at least until I can hunt the zierel.
The silence is something I'm slowly getting used to nowadays.
Airi doesn't really make much noise when she sleeps... It just seems to be me who makes the most noise in this place. The nightmares just bring it out of me without much effort.
Watching my family die over and over again just isn't great. It is a horrific sight that I can't get rid of....
"Wouldn't it be nice to get rid of the memory." The voice speaks up with a nonchalant tone.
I don't really know if it is good for me to get rid of the memory altogether either. That memory is all I have left of them now... Even if it isn't the best memory.
I'll get past it on my own one day.
"Doesn't hurt to offer at least," she says with disappointment.
I also don't understand how I can understand you or respond like I do. All of this is a pain in the ass to deal with out of nowhere all the time.
But I do appreciate the offer to get rid of the memory... Just I need it to go away naturally instead. I'll get better with it as time goes on anyway.
Humans just function that way.
The voice doesn't speak after that and I sit silently in the room for awhile before laying back down on my bed.
Looking up at the ceiling I can hear the screams of my sister as I lay here powerless.
They'll never be able to come back.
But I can make sure that I accomplish my goals; Mom would be proud to see me wipe them all out.
All of them will be proud when I wipe them out permanently.