In the early years, there was nothing unusual; it was merely the relationship between a patient's family and a physician.
But gradually, the bond between the two came to resemble friendship more than anything professional.
Even within the memories, Ruan Mei could read the change in the girl's feelings for Rrakavasha from her expressions alone.
It was a look she found familiar, though she could no longer remember how many years it had been since she last saw it directed at herself.
Back in her youth, many students who attended the same academy had looked at her that way.
It seemed to be called... liking?
Ruan Mei thought carefully, cataloging the emotion.
Yes, that should be it.
Among the many gazes directed at her over the centuries, she could distinguish their subtle differences.
Some were pure curiosity, leaving no impression.
Some carried ulterior motives, making her uncomfortable.
And a very rare few, examined inside and out, revealed only sincerity.
The way Clarice looked at Rrakavasha was sincere, utterly genuine.
But then... why was it that... she felt a trace of discomfort at the way that girl looked at Vash?
Perhaps in the future, she should add a research topic on the different emotions of humans and their origins.
As for now...
Ruan Mei forcibly suppressed the strange feeling in her heart and continued searching Rrakavasha's memories for answers she both needed and dreaded.
In the final years of his life, there was little difference from before, the same quiet routine.
Except that he didn't use any method to extend his lifespan, allowing nature to take its course.
His bodily functions began to decline, and the sensory-loss aftereffects that had once been cured returned with vengeance.
"..."
Ruan Mei frowned.
Not to mention that Rrakavasha didn't know how to make that medicine, even if he did, without extending his lifespan, the drug's effect would be extremely limited, a temporary patch at best.
At the age of 172, Rrakavasha would occasionally lose the ability to taste accurately.
Occasionally, he couldn't perceive changes in ambient temperature, unable to tell hot from cold.
He also lost his sense of touch, or his vision would fade to darkness.
Or he'd lose his sense of pain, unaware that he'd been injured unless he saw blood or wounds with his own eyes.
He accepted all of this calmly, with the same equanimity he'd shown his entire life.
He only made medicine to keep his body in a youthful state, and let everything else take its natural course, neither resisting nor interfering with the inevitable.
He adopted a stray cat for companionship, and this continued until the final three months of his life.
A conversation between his friend Yu Qingtu and Rrakavasha drew Ruan Mei's intense attention; she leaned forward unconsciously.
"Before you go, I want to ask you one last question."
"Please ask, Senior."
"Do you admire, no, rather, do you like A-Ruan? From a romantic perspective."
In that instant, Ruan Mei stared at Rrakavasha, as if trying to read something hidden deep beneath his calm expression.
"Senior, please do not joke with me. I hold only respect for my teacher. How could I harbor such irreverent and absurd feelings?"
She watched his expression, open and honest, without the slightest trace of deceit or hesitation.
In her mind surfaced once more the image of the boy stripping away his memories, forgetting that experience, and silently bearing all the bitter consequences alone.
Unconsciously, she bit through her lower lip hard enough to draw blood, an indescribable pain spreading through her entire body like poison.
It should not have been like this...
"Safe travels, Senior. Please remember to leave a message for her when the plum wine arrives, reminding her to keep a regular schedule and eat on time."
Hearing it secondhand from Yu Qingtu was completely different from hearing Rrakavasha say it himself, the sincerity in his voice cutting deeper than any blade.
Only after Yu Qingtu had left did Ruan Mei realize she'd forgotten to breathe for quite some time, her lungs burning.
In the next moment, Rrakavasha erupted into violent coughing.
He was coughing up blood, dark and thick.
Keeping the body in a youthful state didn't slow down the failure of his internal organs; it actually produced dangerous side effects that accelerated decay.
Coughing blood was one such sign of organ failure.
But he didn't know this, and simply treated it as an ailment of old age, something natural and unavoidable.
The girl named Clarice came with her mother to treat amnesia, a familiar routine by now.
Ruan Mei paid little attention to the mother and daughter initially.
Each time she saw Rrakavasha avoid others' eyes, hiding his aging and physical discomfort behind practiced smiles, her heart would ache for a moment.
His old age should not have been like this...
The girl performed a divination for him: Three of Swords, Ten of Swords, and The Star Reversed.
Ruan Mei saw through the lie at once; the outcome represented by those three cards had to be the complete opposite of what Clarice had said.
Eternal love...?
No, that was not it at all.
It was pain, collapse, a plunge into the deepest despair, heartbreak beyond measure.
And it was she herself, all of it was inflicted upon Vash by her own hands.
"That house over there is it your home as well?"
"...It is not my home."
"Then why do you clean it so frequently?"
"That is my teacher's home. Long ago, she moved it here by special means, but later forgot to take it with her."
"And trimming the vegetation along the path... what is that for?"
"I'm afraid she might forget the way home."
"..."
Ruan Mei clutched her chest, her eyes reddening without her noticing.
She instinctively staggered backward and collided with the equipment behind her, pulling off the electrode once more, only then realizing that all the memories had already been fully received, the transfer complete.
"While chasing a certain endpoint, Teacher lost and forgot many things... perhaps even her home."
"I firmly believe that if one day she achieves her wish and reaches that endpoint, she will remember many forgotten things, and she will surely return home."
"I cannot help her. The only thing I can do is look after her home for her."
Yes... Vash could not help her.
But this should not have been the outcome...
Once again, it was a result she had brought about with her own hands, even though Vash had pleaded with her so desperately back then, begging her to stop, to reconsider.
Yet she remained unmoved, her eyes filled only with obsession for her research.
"Where is your homeland?"
"It has long since become cosmic dust. My homeland is where my heart rests."
Vash regarded the world that had given him new life as his place of return, a choice made consciously.
His heart was here, this was his home... and also the place where her home stood.
But he could have left at any time. Why...?
As she searched for the answer, the boy's young, tender voice exploded in the depths of her soul like thunder.
"Home is the most important thing one has. I don't have a home anymore. You shouldn't be like me."
"When I graduate in the future, I'll go back and help you watch over your home."
A promise the boy upheld for his entire life pierced her heart like a blade, twisting cruelly with every remembered word.
Ruan Mei completely lost control, no longer able to maintain calm or reason, the facade she'd worn for centuries crumbling.
"...Vash... Vash..."
Her entire life had been spent witnessing betrayal after betrayal.
Her parents betrayed her grandmother.
She betrayed her parents.
No one managed to keep their promises in the end.
But Vash...
Vash did not betray her.
Even after hundreds of years in death, Vash was still fulfilling that promise in his own way, through that puppet, through those plum blossom trees, through every carefully maintained path.
...It couldn't even be considered a promise, not really.
Ruan Mei hadn't forgotten her reply back then: "As you wish."
That was only the boy's one-sided wish... an earnest, wholehearted one that she'd dismissed.
He did not betray her.
But she had lost her Vash, her student; she had lost him completely and irreversibly.
And now, he could never be found again. The universe was vast and empty without him.
She couldn't return to the past, and the future no longer had him waiting.
If Vash remembered everything at the very last moment, would he resent her?
Ruan Mei's breathing trembled as she weakly closed her eyes, almost afraid to continue.
The pace of her journey through his memories slowed, but it didn't stop; she had to know.
A suffocating night arrived ahead of time, just as Ruan Mei both wished and dreaded.
In order to treat Durand's amnesia, Rrakavasha personally became a clinical test subject, recovering.
The entirety of what he had once stripped away with his own hands, all those sealed memories flooding back.
His expression was stiff, his eyes devoid of all light, broken in a way that couldn't be repaired.
Hey guys, forgot to mention it, but at 300 powerstones, I'll release a bonus chapter^^