Year 73 After Konoha's founding.
Team Kakashi been traveling for a while now. The air had grown warmer, the sky bleeding from soft gray to pale blue.
"Did you really have to hit him that hard?" Sakura said from behind, Voice filled with concern.
I adjusted the unconscious weight on my back. Naruto's head lolled a little with each step, the bandages around it already glowing faintly with green chakra.
"He'll be fine," I said, steady as ever. "I used just enough force not to cause permanent damage."
I Hope.
The last part I kept to myself.
Sakura sighed, focusing her healing palm against the back of his skull as we moved. I could feel the faint warmth of her chakra through the air.
For a medic-nin, she was Exceptional. No wasted chakra, no hesitation. Tsunade's training was written all over her.
Then, from my back, came a groan.
"Uhh... who... where..."
Sakura leaned forward immediately. "Naruto? You're awake?"
He blinked blearily, the morning light stabbing at his half-open eyes. "Sakura-chan...?" His voice was weak, confused.
Then his gaze drifted upward, settling on the back of my head.
"YOU!"
"Me."
"Why the hell did you hit me, you bastard?!" he shouted—way too close to my ear.
"Because you were acting like one," I said evenly. "Orange boy."
He squirmed free of my grip, landing in the dirt, jabbing a finger at me like I'd kicked his puppy.
"You and me, right now! I'll beat your ass! Believe i—"
He didn't finish. Sakura's fist came down like divine judgment.
"WOULD YOU STOP THAT ALREADY?!"
Naruto went down again, face-first this time.
I exhaled slowly, shaking my head. "No wonder he's slow," I muttered under my breath. "She's the one giving him brain damage."
Apparently, not quietly enough.
"You wanna go next?!" Sakura snapped, turning, chakra already flaring around her knuckles.
I held up both hands, taking a prudent half-step toward our captain. "Nah, I'm good."
That's when the ground shuddered.
-MOKUTON: SHICHUUROU NO JUTSU-
Wood erupted upward in thick pillars, forming a cage that towered over us.
I froze. My instincts screamed.
That jutsu...
"Mokuton?!"
That was impossible.
This was the First Hokage's secret technique!
Before I could ask,Captain Yamato spoke.
"As acting captain of Team Kakashi," he said, "I'm ordering you all to stop this pointless bickering. Now."
The sheer weight behind his voice made the air itself feel heavier.
"You're teammates," he continued, eyes narrowing. "Whatever grudges you've got, leave them behind."
Then his expression changed. Slowly, disturbingly. He pulled a flash light from Rikudō knows where, and pointed It at his face.
That face...stuff of nightmares.
Even Sakura flinched. Naruto, half-conscious again, Froze.
"Otherwise," Yamato said, voice low and terrifyingly calm, "I'll throw all of you inside there until you learn to get along. Am I clear?"
Silence. Even the birds stopped singing.
"Understood, Captain," Team kakashi answered in unison.
---timeskip---
The hot spring hissed softly, steam curling into the cool evening air. Beyond the bamboo fence, cicadas were singing somewhere in the dark.
Naruto sat slouched in the water, chin resting on the edge of the pool. Definitely traumatized.
I couldn't blame him. Captain Yamato's scary face technique would probably haunt his dreams for weeks.
"Ahh," Yamato sighed, sinking deeper into the water, shoulders loosening. "Nothing strengthens the bonds of camaraderie like bathing naked together, wouldn't you agree?"
I blinked at him once.
Then, without a word, I vanished in a flicker of chakra, and reappeared on the far end of the pool, as far from him as physically possible.
'You stay away from My Bum.'
"No." My voice was flat. My eyes, deader than a fish left in the sun.
The air between us crackled.
A silent battle of wills.
Dead-eyed Genji vs. Scary Yamato.
Naruto, poor soul, was stuck right between our line of fire, frozen in place like prey caught between two predators.
But then, from beyond the wooden wall separating the baths, came laughter — bright, feminine, and very distracting.
Naruto's expression shifted immediately. You could almost see the spark of idiocy ignite in his eyes.
That expression said, 'Gentlemen I may not have a brain... but I have an idea.'
He leaned closer, water sloshing softly. "Hey, Genji. Genji."
I eyed him sideways, suspicious.
Still, I humored him.
"Speak, Orange boy."
"Listen, man..." he began, lowering his voice conspiratorially. "I know we started on the wrong foot, but what if—" His grin widened, stretching into something both innocent and criminal. "—we took a peek... into the women's bath?"
For a moment, silence. Just the sound of bubbling water.
Then I felt something ancient awaken inside me.
The Forbidden teachings of Hiruzen Sarutobi, The Professor.
The legendary Third Hokage.
"I see,"
I said, slowly turning toward him, face lighting up with the most perverted of smiles ever known to man. "So you're a man of culture as well eh?"
Naruto grinned, eyes gleaming with the kind of stupid confidence only he could pull off.
Behind us, Captain Yamato sighed.
I caught him glancing over, clearly about to give us the mandatory lecture.
Probably about to Tell us the story of the legendary beating Master Jiraya received from Lady Tsunade when they were young.
Trust me, I Don't speak lightly of It.
That beating had become the stuff of legend — a cautionary tale whispered across the Five Nations.
But Captain Yamato didn't say it. He just exhaled again and muttered under his breath, "Boys will be boys," before stepping out of the bath, wrapping himself in a towel, and leaving.
Meanwhile, Naruto and I were already leaning close, whispering like co-conspirators in the steam.
"All right, but If we do this, we do It my way" I murmured.
Naruto nodded eagerly.
---
I went first, a ripple of chakra barely disturbing the steam.
Naruto followed three breaths later, clumsy by comparison, but smart enough not to rush.
The roof tiles were warm under our palms, the inn settling into night.
We crawled low.
The women's bath came into view through the slatted roof, steam rising in slow, uneven waves.
At a glance, it looked harmless. Civilians soaking. Quiet laughter. The illusion of safety.
I stopped and Naruto almost bumped into me.
I lifted a single finger.
Hold.
Naruto swallowed. He knew this part. Pervy sage had taught him—sometimes by example, sometimes by screaming while running for his life.
At This close distance, It was not hard to detect them.
There were three Chakra signatures that were stronger than the rest.
'Chuunin'
Most Inns in the Land of Fire always send a mission to the Village, with one specific pre- requisite.
Kunoichi Only.
They were sent to these Inn's to act as security against perv—Ahem—Men of culture.
Naruto leaned in closer to me, whispering.
"Four I think..."
I nodded.
Naruto swallowed. His mind raced ahead.
We waited and the steam thickened. Naruto's leg brushed against mine.
A shallow chakra wave pulsed out from the women's side, Sweeping like eyes in the fog.
Naruto froze. Breath caught in his throat.
I went dead still. The wave brushed past, then faded.
Naruto let air out slow. "…That was way too close, believe It."
I slipped a scratched mirror from my pouch.
Angled it into the steam.
"We stop here."
Naruto blinked. "But—"
"We. Stop. Here." I said again, final.
Then I Shifted just enough for a sliver view through a warped board.
Naruto followed, heart in his mouth.
And through the gap,
Paradise.
'This is enough to make a grown Man cry.'
Breasts.
So many Breasts.
Breasts of all shapes and sizes.
And Asses.
Asses half-submerged, thighs parted lazily.
One woman arched back, water cascading over full breasts, droplets tracing nipples before dripping off.
Then there was Sakura Haruno.
'Damn...If only her boobs were Just a tiny bit bigger...'
She stood waist-deep, turning slightly to rinse her hair. Pink strands clung wet to her neck.
Water streamed down her back, over the dip of her spine, pooling at the small of her back before spilling over rounded ass cheeks.
Steam framed her, but for that heartbeat, nothing hid her.
toned stomach, flare of hips, the soft triangle between her thighs, where one could see Just the tiniest hint of pink hair.
Naruto's brain short-circuited.
His face went tomato red. A thin trickle of blood slipped from his nose.
He slapped a hand over it.
'What are you, Twelve?'
I think to myself, seeing his reaction.
I decided to pull back first.
Naruto stayed stuck a second longer — then jerked away, wiping blood on his arm.
"Oh man...I won't be able to sleep tonight" he breathed. Voice cracked.
Naruto then scrambled after me, mind replaying the image on loop.
"Whatever... Just, just be careful not to rip it off, ok kid?" I told him with a hint of humor.
His face got even more red. I thought It Impossible.
'guess what? This kid is kind of funny.'