It's currently 10:35 pm and I think that I fucked up.
I am normal man. I am now 20 years. I had my birthday recently. I fucking hate my life and hate myself.
I am not fit.
I skipped my college so that I can do business but I didn't even start it till now,which is nearly around 9-10 months after I left college. My parents are dissatisfied with me and so I am joining college within 3-4 months.
You may think why didn't I start anything. I don't know. I think I hate being hard on myself or I hate doing hard things or i like that cheap dopamine hit , i don't know.
What I know is that I am just running away from my responsibilities. Rather than being a man and accepting the fact that I am an adult now I am being a little bitch and trying to convince myself that's it's ok to be child or I am still a child. If a version of me who was nearly 2-3 years ago would see me then he would definitely beat the shit out of me.
To get the context I would say like. I was and am a very socially acceptable and admirable person, because I would charm many people by talking. My looks are ok. Also I was good at studying.
But now I am just here. I fucking binge read novels. I don't know how many novels I read and I also don't know how many I left behind because I forget what I was reading.
I want to write many things here about me, myself and my journey from a fucking loser to a socially acceptable person.