My gaze drifted to the pot hanging over the fire. Steam curled up, thick and greasy, carrying a smell that was… nutty. Earthy. Somehow wrong, but I couldnt quite put a finger on It.
"So,"
I asked casually, nodding at it.
"What's for breakfast?"
Silence the kind that happens during funerals, scratch that even during funerals theres usually crying. The fire crackled. A spoon clinked faintly against metal.
Finally, the youngest one, a teenage girl, thin, dirt-smudged, eyes too old for her face, cleared her throat and spoke up.
"…cockroach stew,"
She said quietly, hearing this I blinked only for my stomach to growl loudly, I looked down at it, then back at her for a second. Then another. The silence stretched, fire popping softly between us.
"…bon appétit,"
I said flatly In the end. Then I nodded toward the pot.
"And uh... whip one up for me too."
A ripple of surprise went through the group. Actual, honest-to-god surprise. Like I'd just asked to join a picnic instead of a post-apocalypse trauma circle.
I walked over and sat down on an overturned barrel near the fire, metal cold even through my pants.
The teenage girl hesitated for half a heartbeat, then scrambled into motion like she'd been given a direct order by God Himself. She didn't have a bowl.
What she did have was an old mining helmet. Yellow once. Now scratched, dented, and permanently grimy.
She grabbed it, rinsed it quickly with a splash of questionable water, then dipped a ladle into the pot. The stew slopped in. Thick. Brownish. Things floated. Legs. Shell fragments. Protein, probably.
She handed it to me with a spoon that looked like it had been through three wars and lost all of them.
The handle was cracked and held together with duct tape and what I hoped wasn't dried blood.
"…here,"
She said quietly. I took it without comment. The helmet was warm in my hands. Heavy. I stared into it for a second. The stew stared back. We reached an understanding.
"Eh, oh well got to get that protein In"
I muttered as I shrugged and dug in. The spoon sank into the mess with a wet plop. I scooped, lifted, blew on it once out of pure habit, and took a bite. Chew. Pause. Huh. I chewed again.
Swallowed.
…honestly?
Not that bad. Salty. Earthy. A little smoky from the fire. Texture was, crunchy in places, which I chose not to think too hard about. But overall? Edible. Even decent if you ignored the mental image.
Hmmm,
I thought.
Could use some garlic.
While Genesis lost her gods damned mind.
"EXCUSE ME, NOT THAT BAD?!"
She screamed directly into my head.
"ARE YOU FUCKING DEAD-BRAINED OR WHAT?! THAT SHIT IS FULL OF RADIATION, PARASITES, AND PROBABLY THREE NEW DISEASES NAMED AFTER WHATEVER POOR BASTARD INVENTED THAT RECIPE!"
I swallowed another spoonful.
Yeah, yeah.
I replied mentally, waving her off.
A bit of radiation never killed anyone.
There was a long, stunned pause. Genesis opened her mouth. Closed it. Stared at me like she was reevaluating every life choice that had led her here.
I tilted the helmet slightly, eyeing the remaining stew, then glanced up at the teenage girl.
"Hey,"
I said casually.
"You got any water?"
Her eyes widened. She nodded fast, rummaged through a crate, and handed me a plastic bottle that had once been clear. Once. The liquid inside was not. Slightly greenish. Cloudy.
Bits floating that definitely weren't supposed to be there. I grabbed it, shook it gently, held it up to the firelight, squinted.
"…eh."
I twisted the cap and took a gulp. It tasted exactly like drinking from a lake you knew you shouldn't be drinking from. Metallic. Stale. With a faint aftertaste of regret. Before I could even swallow fully.
SYSTEM NOTIFICATION
Rads +14
Radiation Poisoning: 2%
I blinked. Genesis didn't even yell this time.
"I fucking told you,"
She said, voice flat with vindication.
...
MC KIDNEY DEPARTMENT
Somewhere deep inside Draculas freshly upgraded body… The Kidney Department was having the time of its life. A banner hung crooked across the room. WELCOME TO THE NEW YOU!
The director, short, stocky, and jacked in a deeply unsettling way stood atop a crate, flexing peanut sized biceps at a group of equally deranged employees.
"FUCK YEAH, BOYS!"
He shouted.
"LOOK AT THESE BABIES! FILTRATION EFFICIENCY UP! TOXIN RESISTANCE UP! I HAVEN'T FELT THIS GOOD SINCE FOREVER!"
The staff cheered. One guy popped a beer labeled URINE (PROCESSED). Then the alarms went off. Red lights flashed. Sirens wailed.
"UH... SIR?"
an intern yelled, staring at a slightly upgraded compared to before console.
"It's… it's radiation poisoning."
The director froze mid-flex.
"…oh for fuck's sake."
He leapt down, sprinted toward the controls.
"ALL HANDS, UPGRADES TO MAX! FILTERS ON OVERDRIVE! I WANT THAT GLOWING GREEN BULLSHIT OUT OF MY SYSTEM!"
He slammed a lever. Then promptly doubled over.
"UGH... son of a bitch..."
He vomited violently into a hazard bin.
"…for fucks sake I just got these kidneys tuned, that asshole of ours will get us killed one day for real!"
...
MC POV
I glanced at the radiation notification again. Then at the water bottle in my hand.
Meh. Whatever.
I took another sip. The fire crackled pleasantly. The stew was still warm. I scooped up another spoonful, chewing like a champ who eats his vegetables.
Who had fully accepted that the apocalypse had no health inspectors. Across from me, Genesis made a strangled noise.
"…ugh… for fuck's sake you... you absolute... urgh..."
She clutched her stomach mid-hover, face going a sickly shade of translucent purple.
"I think I'm gonna..."
She barely made it two meters to the side before doubling over.
"BLERGH..."
Digital vomit. Spectral. Glitchy. Literal fucking rainbows. It splattered against the dirt and fizzled like corrupted code. I didn't even look at her. I was busy stuffing my mouth full.
I lifted the spoon again, a whole cockroach leg dangling out the side of my mouth like a cigarette. Crunchy. Protein.
Gods damned,
I thought.
Thats some fucking good macros.
That's when I felt it. The Look, that gave me shivers, like then a certain spideys senses tingle. I slowly raised my eyes.
The bearded veteran had climbed down from the sentry post and was standing a few steps away, hands resting awkwardly on his belt. His gaze locked onto mine. Direct. Hesitant.
The kind of look that said I'm about to ask you to do some random shit for free.
Oh fuck no. I know that look. Don't you fucking dare dude.
I thought, chewing slowing, seeing this he cleared his throat.
"…sorry to ask,"
He said carefully, like he was approaching a wild animal,
"but could you help around the camp?"
The moment he said help around the camp, my chewing stopped. My eyes narrowed.
Son of a bitch. I fucking knew it.
But he wasn't done.
"For starters I need some help making some beds,"
He added.
"Just temporary ones, so that we dont have to sleep on the floor."
I stared at him. Long and hard. Then slowly I spoke up, mouth still full, cockroach leg bobbing with every word.
"Hey, dude,"
I said flatly.
"Do I look like a fucking carpenter to you?"
I gave him the stink eye. Full power. No restraint. The veteran froze mid-step like I'd just drawn a weapon on him.
"…ehhh?"
He muttered, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.
"I... uh..."
That was when reality betrayed me. Again. Like always. A ding echoed in my skull. Confetti exploded across my vision like a children's birthday party had been hit by a flashbang.
NEW MISSION AVAILABLE
A translucent window slammed into place.
MISSION: CAMP MAINTENANCE
OBJECTIVE: Help around the camp.
REWARD: XP
The XP text pulsed. Once. Twice. Then the system leaned in.
SYSTEM
Oh come on. You were literally built by violence and poor decisions. You can hammer some scrap together. A second later, a chibi version of me popped into view.
Mini-me. Utility belt stuffed with nails, duct tape, and a measuring tape. Sleeves rolled up. Hammer slung over one shoulder like a hero's sword. He gave me a confident wink.
Every apocalypse needs a handyman, and I choose you!
The XP bar shimmered seductively. I felt my soul fold. My glare at the veteran vanished instantly, replaced with calm professionalism, even a touch of longing that made the veteran shiver.
"…alright,"
I said, swallowing the last of the stew and standing up smoothly.
"Where do I start?"
Genesis, still dry-heaving on the side, looked up in horror.
"You... you spineless..."
I clapped the veteran on the shoulder.
"After all I got to earn my keep dont I?"
The chibi handyman-me gave a thumbs-up as the mission locked in. XP awaited. And apparently, so did manual labor, just as i was grinning like a fool already imaging the sweet taste of level up.
The veteran visibly uneasy spoke up.