Sarah knelt amid the debris of the office, her pink curls disheveled and her frilly dress covered in dust and goblin goo. She looked up at Andrey, who was fiddling with the holographic system screen like it was a glitchy spreadsheet. "Wait a minute," she said, her voice shaky. "Andrey, is this... permanent? Am I stuck as a Magical Girl forever? Like, no take-backs?"
Andrey paused, his brow furrowing in that serious way he always did when double-checking a budget. He hadn't thought about that. "Good question. System, is this a lifetime gig? Or can we, you know, resign with two weeks' notice?"
System: Teehee! Once contracted, it's forever, Host! Magical Girls are bound for life—or until the world ends, whichever comes first. But hey, eternal youth and sparkles included! No refunds!
Sarah's eyes went wide, her pink hair seeming to frizz out in shock. "Forever? What? I can't be prancing around in this outfit for the rest of my life! I have a mortgage! Book club meetings! And what about taxes? Do Magical Girls get deductions for wand maintenance?" She buried her face in her hands, groaning. "This is worse than that time I accidentally emailed the CEO my grocery list."
Andrey adjusted his glasses, trying to stay composed. He wasn't great at pep talks—his idea of motivation was "meet the deadline or else." But he cleared his throat. "Come on, Sarah. Look on the bright side. We can become real heroes now. Save the world, get sponsorships, maybe even optimize global mana distribution. Think of it as a promotion."
Sarah lifted her head, staring at him blankly. Her expression said it all: that was the lamest motivation ever. "A promotion? Andrey, you sound like a bad motivational poster. 'Hang in there, kitty—now with magic!' Yeah, no. This is not helping."
Andrey shrugged, turning back to the system. "Fine, whatever. Let's just gear up."
The screen showed his new points: 10 Mana Points to spend. Options popped up—Strength Boost (15 points, too pricey), Shield Aura (12 points, close but no), Weapon Mastery (10 points, perfect fit). "Weapon Mastery it is. Efficient cost for maximum utility."
He selected it, and a rush of knowledge flooded his brain—like downloading an entire weapons manual straight into his skull. Suddenly, he knew how to wield anything: swords, guns, even a stapler if needed.
"Whoa. I feel... prepared." He flexed his fingers, eyeing the broken chair leg from earlier. In his mind, it wasn't junk—it was a potential spear.
But the office wasn't clear yet. More goblins scampered in from smaller rifts, knocking over monitors and shredding file cabinets. Andrey's eyes narrowed. "We can't let them destroy more equipment. Those printers are on lease!"
He unbuttoned his shirt—revealing a plain white undershirt—and yanked it off, twisting the fabric with his new mastery. In seconds, he'd fashioned it into a makeshift whip-sling, weighted with a stapler tied to the end. "Sarah, snap out of it! Let's clear these pests before they ruin the servers. Come on, team effort!"
Sarah gaped at him, still in shock. "You're kidding, right? The world's ending with monsters, I'm stuck in eternal glitter mode, and you're worried about the office supplies? Andrey, priorities! Who cares about the printers when I look like a walking Valentine's card?"
Andrey swung his improvised weapon, cracking it at a goblin and sending it flying. "I care! This is our workplace! Now, blast them with your heart thingy or whatever. Efficiency, Sarah—let's wrap this up!"
Andrey cracked his shirt-whip again, sending a goblin spinning into a copier that promptly jammed with green blood. "Left flank, Sarah! Three more coming from the supply closet!"
Sarah, still tugging at the hem of her ridiculously short pink dress, spun around and pointed her wand like it owed her money. "Sparkle Barrage!" A shower of glittering pink hearts shot out, exploding the goblins into confetti and shredded Post-it notes. She blinked at the empty space where the monsters had been. "Okay… that actually worked."
System: Victory! Magical Girl Sarah reaches Level 3! New skill unlocked: Heartstorm Volley!
Host Andrey reaches Level 2! +15 Mana Points gained!
Andrey felt another warm surge through his body, like someone had turned the office thermostat up to "superhuman." He nodded approvingly. "Good output. Solid DPS."
The remaining office survivors—Mike from sales, Lisa the intern, and a handful of others—crawled out from under desks and behind the water-damaged potted plants. Their jaws dropped as they stared at the pink-haired girl in the frilly dress floating three inches off the ground, wand still smoking glitter.
"Whoa… is that a real Magical Girl?" Mike whispered, eyes wide. "Like, an actual one? Here?"
Lisa clutched her phone, already recording. "She's so cute! Go, Magical Girl! Save us! You're amazing!"
A random accountant near the back started clapping. "Yeah! Kick their asses, uh, I mean, bring love and justice!"
Sarah's face went from pink to nuclear red. She waved her hands frantically. "S-stop filming! It's me! It's Sarah! From accounting! Please don't post that!"
Nobody believed her. Mike squinted. "Sarah? No way. Sarah wears cardigans and drinks chamomile tea. This goddess of sparkles can't be Sarah."
Sarah groaned, covering her face with one hand while the other still gripped the wand. "I'm literally wearing the same earrings I had this morning!"
Andrey stepped forward, snapping his makeshift whip to get attention. "Everyone, focus. We still have stragglers. Sarah, stop posing for morale boosts and clear the area. Efficiency, remember? We can debrief later."
Sarah lowered her hand and glared at him. "You're seriously lecturing me about efficiency while shirtless and swinging a stapler-whip? Just… shut up for once, Andrey."
She raised her wand high, pink mana swirling around her like cotton candy in a hurricane. "Fine. If you all want a show—Heartstorm Volley!"
A massive dome of swirling pink lasers erupted from her wand, sweeping across the entire floor in one glorious, over-the-top wave. Every remaining goblin, imp, and stray shadow beast got vaporized in a symphony of sparkles and cute explosion sound effects. Papers fluttered like snow. The emergency lights flickered. Even the fire alarm gave up and stopped beeping.
Silence fell. Then the survivors erupted into wild applause and cheers.
"Best day ever!" Mike yelled, pumping his fist.
Lisa was practically crying. "Magical Girl, will you sign my notebook?"
Sarah landed gently, dress fluttering, and immediately crossed her arms over her chest again. "I hate all of you. Except maybe the monsters—they were honest about wanting to kill me."
System: Total clear! Magical Girl Sarah reaches Level 4! Host Andrey reaches Level 3! +25 Mana Points! Bonus: Team Morale Boost—affection with Sarah +5 (she secretly appreciates the backup).
Andrey allowed himself the tiniest satisfied smile as the clapping continued around them. He rolled his shoulder, already calculating how to spend the new points. "Acceptable performance. Now, someone find me a new shirt before HR files a complaint."
Sarah shot him one last exasperated look, but the corner of her mouth twitched upward as the cheers kept coming. For the first time that day, the ruined office actually felt a little bit like victory.