The cursed Girdle of Femininity and Masculinity was a rare yet oft-discussed magical item. Anyone unfortunate enough to secure it around their waist instantly finds their gender to be transformed to the opposite. Also, being cursed, it cannot be removed until a Remove Curse spell was cast upon the victim.
"Oh my, your voice is ambrosia," Xzar said to Montareene as we trudged our way towards Beregost. Xzar was doing a big show of doing a catwalk, swaying his hips from side to side.
"Go suck yer blade, wizard," Montareene snapped back. She was very grumpy.
I hadn't really had the opportunity to see what a female halfling looked like yet. Montareene probably wasn't a very good example; she was as butt ugly as a woman as she was when she was a man. Still, even if the face was all wrong, at least she had boobs. Maybe halfling women aren't so bad after all.
Montareene followed my gaze, and covered herself up with her arms. "Keep yer eyes up, or I'll dig 'em out with me blade."
Imoen broke out in hysterical laughter. It was the third time already. She had been trying to come up with jokes at Montareene's expense the whole way, but before she could get to the punchline she broke out in uncontrollable giggle fits.
Montareene grit her teeth. "Yer asking for a blade in yer gullet, girl."
"Try not to push it too hard, she probably means it this time," I said to Imoen, genuinely concerned. Montaron made plenty of threats, but Montareene was downright seething. In retrospect, perhaps letting the psychotic killer get cursed wasn't the brightest idea I had. "I meant 'he'," I quickly corrected myself upon receiving a glare from Montareene.
Not that I knew what his problem was. Does Montaron really still consider himself a guy even though she's a woman now? I'd never have thought Montaron of all people would be so progressive. I'm very confused.
"I don't wanna hear a peep outta yer trap," Montarene said, directed at me, "Yer the one that set me up."
"Come on, don't you remember the ring of protection? I tried it on right away, you saw me do it. I really was going to try the belts on, just like you advised. Or should I ignore your input from now on?" I replied. Then to Xzar, "Really though. Are cursed items really so common? I've heard stories, but I thought cursed items were not a real concern outside cursed tombs and the like."
"Only if you like to try out new and absolutely FABULOUS curses. The realms are full of magical and cursed magical items alike," Xzar replied, still doing the hip sway. "Such are the whims of the fae. That's where Faerun gets its name. Fae, Faerun, geddit? A curse here, a practical joke there, it's all the same to the fae. Tee hee."
Montareene grumbled under his breath, unable to find a comeback or comment. We might even survive the night.
A stone marker indicated Beregost lay southward. A little further east from the marker, we spotted an overturned carriage. Two bodies lay on the ground around it, still fresh.
"Too late to do anything for them," I said as we examined the wreckage. Bandits appeared to have picked the remains clean of most valuables save a few coins. "Were they victim to the bandits looking for iron?"
We took but a few steps further when we heard cries of "AAAAATTAAAAACCCCK!"
Two little blue men with big head were charging at us, armed with shortswords!
Xvarts?!? No way, the evil Smurfs could barely reach up the carriage! They were barely taller than me!
Volley-fire took them out, thankfully. Xvarts are worth hardly any experience, but in spite of their stature Xvarts were in fact barely weaker than hobgoblins. They have the same AC and Thac0 and just one less hit point. Only the use of short swords instead of bastard swords meant their damage output was significantly less.
Funnily enough, one was carrying a Potion of Fortitude (sets Constitution to 18). Random loot was funny like that.
"I think they're just scavengers, like us. No way they took out the carriage," Imoen said, mirroring what the rest of us were thinking.
It wasn't the only upturned carriage we would uncover. Even further east, we found the remains of another, longer caravan. Three bodies littered the area, as well as a dead horse. We managed to pick some real items of worth this time though. A silver ring and fire agate gem.
Another potential companion (Kagain) would have been interested in this one, but it didn't really matter that we visited it early.
Night had fallen by the time we reached Beregost. As soon as we arrived, a friendly local welcomed us and gave us directions. Although I already knew my way around, I made sure to question him in front of rest thoroughly so it would not be so odd that I knew where to go.
When the guy left, I turned to the party. "According to the ones I interrogated at Candlekeep, there should be an assassin in every major town. Probably waiting in the inn, since as travelers we aren't allowed to sleep on the streets."
Imoen sighed and looked at the ground. "That scary armored guy is really out for your blood. But there are multiple inns at Beregost. Which one? Or do all of 'em have assassins?"
I shook my head. "There's only so much I can gather from a dying man. I don't really have the stomach for torture," I said, lying. I mean I was lying that I tortured the assassins for info, not that I didn't have the stomach for it. That remained to be seen.
Montareene snorted. "Amateur."
"Good. Don't ever let it be a thing for ya," Imoen said.
I did know where the assassin was waiting at, of course. I figured it would be more believable that I only had vague information.
"One of us is going to have to sneak in to each inn. Check if there's someone watching the door. Once I've confirmed which inn is most likely targeted, we can stay at the other safely," I said. "Probably Imoen. They're expecting a halfling, not a woman."
"Not so fast," Montareene said. "We be visiting the temple first. Remove this curse."
"Temple? Did the guide earlier say there was a temple here?" I asked earlier, knowing full well there was one.
"Aye, I caught 'em myself and made 'em talk while yer kept waggin yer tounge."
Crap. "Lead the way then."
Montareene did lead the way eastwards, right towards a pink haired woman in the streets of Beregost.
My eyes widened in recognition. "Nonono, not that way!" I said hushed.
The pink-haired half-elf swung around. "You!"
She was pointing at the surly, butt ugly halfling woman at the front with murderous eyes.
She faltered. "Uh, I mean you," she pointed to the tall man with wild eyes and unnerving smile.
"Not you. You! Yes, you!" she pointed at Imoen.
...did she just skip me?!? I'm right here!
Neera the wild mage, for that's who she was, indicated that she was under siege by a legion of magic bandits. Magic hurling bandits.
"Bandits don't really go to magic school, you know," Imoen chided.
"Listen, I'd love to give you a really long and detailed explanation of what's going on but---oh, look! WE'RE OUT OF TIME!" Neera pointed.
Two bald mages in red robes stepped forward. …huh, I had forgotten about those guys, the Red Wizards of Thay. I guess red robes really were quite common color choice for mages in these parts. They had two bodyguards accompanying them.
The wizard in more elaborate robes stepped forward. Addressing Neera, he said, "So, you would try to hide from us behind this unfortunate fool? Your cowardice proves as reckless as your-"
"Blah-blah-blah I'm an evil mage, look how villainous I am! I'm comic relief who thinks I'm a big deal," I interjected. My plans were being spoiled rotten, and I was in no mood for villainous exposition.
"Hey!" Xzar said.
"Present company excluded," I added quickly. To Ekandor, that's the Red Wizard who was speaking earlier was, I said, "Did it ever occur to you that studying wild magic could have disastrous consequences for you? It's WILD MAGIC. Completely random. You really want to give up your magic for something you can't control?"
Neera shot me a look which I didn't care for, but I ignored it for now.
Ekandor looked visibly confused. "How did you… I… you shall not be privy to my methods, halfling! Hand her over, or I shall cut you-"
"Ugh, just get on with it! You're a dumb killer, we put down dumb killers. Can we start already?"
"Oi!" Montareene said.
"No offense to killers," I added quickly.
"You…ugh, just die!" Ekandor screamed and started chanting.
But Neera's incantation, if you could call it that, was faster. "Away with you, you pompous creep!"
Zip, bang, pow! Ekandor was spirited away who knows where, and everyone else got teleported all over the place to as an added extra bonus. Crap.
In spite of being too close to the front-lines, Xzar threw out a Minor Drain, his LAST Minor Drain, at the remaining Thayan wizard. Together with arrow and bullet volleys, that practically guaranteed we interrupted his spell. It was up to me to tank the two goons in my splint mail. Really wish I bought the plate mail now!
Neera on the other hand made herself 'useful' by casting burning hands from a distance, which hit Imoen instead. Imoen screamed in agony, rolling out of the line of fire and chugged down a healing potion.
"I'm really, really, really sorry!" Neera said in a panic.
Meanwhile, Montaron and I finished of the mage and one bodyguard respectively. One bodyguard left. Imoen, bless her, rejoined the fight after healing up, pushing through the agony of nearly being burned alive.
"I've got it this time!" Neera said, and cast Color Spray right at the remaining bodyguard. I just happened to be next to said bodyguard.
I wasn't sure what happened next, because the world turned dark. Even as I lost consciousness, I wondered, Is this how I die? To friendly fire?
Thankfully, I woke up just fine to a very apologetic looking pink-haired woman. The other pink haired woman, not Imoen.
Speaking of Imoen, she was giving Neera a dirty look for being set on fire earlier. I was rather sympathetic.
"I am really, really, really, really, really sorry about what just happened," Neera said, to her credit. "I swear, I'll make sure everyone is out of the line of fire next time."
"Next time?" Imoen spat out, fury in her eyes.
Turned out Neera's Color Spray knocked out the bodyguard as well. Xzar, of all people, took him out with his dagger.
I peeled myself off the dirty road, dusted myself. My carefully laid plans had just got hit by a pink irritation (not Imoen, the other one), but hadn't come completely undone. I just couldn't power level nearly as well as I had hoped. "You cast spells which spells I ask you to memorise, when I ask you to cast them. No arguments, no talk back."
"What? Are you serious?" Imoen protested. She didn't need to elaborate.
"I'm not thrilled either. But remember the plan? Xzar and Montaron are leaving us. We need a replacement wizard," I said dryly, giving Neera the side eye. "For now."
Neera, for her part, gulped. "I'll be good. Promise. I just have to ask though. How did you know I was a wild mage?"
…ugh, not this crap. "The other guy mentioned it. After what we saw you did with the teleportation, do you deny it?"
"I don't. But I'm sure Ekandor didn't get the chance to mention. I was listening," Neera said.
Imoen perked up as well, curious and suspicious.
I really wasn't in the mood to make something up. "Yes he did. End of argument, we going to go get Montareene here cured of her curse then move on, I don't wanna hear it right now, the end. Oh, and welcome to the party."
"My name be Montaron, not Montareene yer bloody fool! Don't go changing it on yer own!"
"Yes, yes. Onward! To Beregost Temple we go!"
The cost of removing the cursed Girdle of Feminity cost a whopping 500 gold. That was extremely painful, but I feared more for my life than the loss of gold. What an expensive prank. How do the fae afford it?
Neera came with a number of things. No actual money, but a gem bag with actual precious gems in it. Looks like someone was following Winthrop's advice for the travelling adventurer. The gem bag itself would be useful to help keep our gems organised. Neera also had a magic staff which apparently was 'improved' upon by Neera herself. The blasted thing had a small chance of doing 1 point of extra fire damage to when striking a target, but had equal chance of hurting its wielder as the target struck. In Neera's case, with her piddly 4hp, it's conceivable she could kill herself after striking an enemy with 4 times.
I took the staff out of her hands and passed her my own. Neera started to protest, but clammed up under my harsh glare. Unfortunately, Neera's staff rejected me, only she could wield it. But she wasn't going to wield that hazard either. Not until she had a bigger HP to tank the damage.
Was I being harsh? Maybe. Walking into Neera wasn't meant to be on the cards, since she was a potential companion. We were only meant to recruit her AFTER I and Imoen had power-leveled. Normally, the power-leveling was meant just for the main character. Sharing the experience points out with Imoen was not optimal, but tolerable. Sharing it out with Neera on top of that wasn't power-leveling anymore, just leveling.
So I had every reason to be grumpy with her. Our relationship with her was off to a very rocky start.