"Would you look at that... we have the same dream."
"Haha, it appears so."
I Stated awkwardly.
"Do you perhaps not like telling others your dream?"
She asked me, looking straight at me.
"Huh? Ofcourse not. I don't have such superstitions."
"Than why do you look so glum?"
"Aah... I thought maybe you don't like the idea of us sharing the same profession... since we might end up meeting even after high-school..."
"Huh? Why would I?"
She asked me somewhat surprised.
"It's just... our whole thing is an act... so, maybe you wouldn't wanna cont-"
"You know... I'm actually glad that we share the same profession."
"Huh?"
I got flustered when she said that, so much so that if I said another word, I might end up stuttering.
Unaware of my predicament she continued talking.
"Now that you said it, it does make me think aswell... I don't want to lose you after high-school graduation. I too have grown to like you as a friend. Even if we someday end up... breaking up... I don't want to grow distant. If possible... well I have said enough."
So... we are destined to break up Huh?
Well ofcourse.
But, it's atleast nice that she doesn't see me in a negative light.
Haha... After everything that happened, she probably wouldn't.
"I'm glad... we can continue being friends after this whole thing is over."
But, it's obvious she's drawing a line.
It looks like I've officially been friendzoned.
"Me too!"
She gave me a genuine smile as she said that.
I felt my heart sink as I saw that smile.
I finally actually decided to crush my feelings for her.
Because if I didn't, I'd end up losing the 1 friend I actually made.
Yup, it's for the best.
...
We were walking together for the next class when I remembered something.
"Aah... you go on ahead, I forgot something."
"Mhm okay!"
I walked back to the class.
I had to take a little detour before going to the class.
I forgot to feed the dog near the gymnasium.
Why do I feed a dog in school premises while classes are going on you ask?
I don't usually do it when classes begin.
It's a special case today because I forgot.
I have to go to the class, get the dog food I made specially for him and go there, feed him quickly and go to class.
Well, honestly I'm just avoiding this class as much as possible.
I always use excuses and come late.
Making the professor dislike me alot.
But, I do everything possible to never get low grades here because I Don't want her to hate me.
So why do I do this?
Well... The seating arrangement is as such that I sit right next to Rose and she always nags me about my relationship with Alice.
Repeatedly telling me to break up with her and that she doesn't wanna see Frey get hurt so badly.
It's honestly painful to see her care so much about Frey when he's just a nobody that showed up just recently.
While... I'm someone who's been by her side for so fkin long... and yet, she doesn't even thinkbof the fact that she might be hurting me with with every word she says.
At some point tho... I just gave up.
There was no real point fretting over these things anymore.
She doesn't matter to me anymore.
But, the fact that Alice drew a line during lunch might just reopen the unhealed wounds.
I kind of feel like I'm really losing my mind.
I entered the class and there stood Rose with her pink hair fluttering due to the afternoon breeze.
"I knew you'd come."
She stated with a serious face.
"..."
I just decided to ignore her, ad I walked past her.
She grabbed my hand.
"Listen to me when I'm talking to you."
"What is it?"
"I know, I know everything. The fact that you guys aren't actually dating and she's only doing this because she doesn't want me to get hurt."
Again with that.
How many days has it been?
How many times have I heard this since we started dating?
"Is it that hard to believe that she likes me?"
I asked her...
"Yes it's actually very hard."
I clenched my fists in anger when she said that so nonchalantly.
Hah... you Don't even care about how I might feel when you say that... even though you know that everything you say is true?
That we aren't actually in a relationship.
I wish she'd atleast show 1% of the care she shows towards Frey.
Aren't I her childhood friend?
"Whatever you say won't change the fact that we are infection dating. So, you and Frey can go cry about it."
I was so angry I said something unnecessary.
"..."
I took the box for the dog and as I was about walk away, I heard the words I never in my life wanted to hear from my childhood friend.
"Would you still not break up with her... if I told you that I... might actually like you?"
Not in this situation.
"..."
"I don't know how or when it happened but... The more I see you guys together the more my heart aches-"
"Enough."
"..."
"Everyone of you... EVERY FKIN ONE OF YOU, I SWEAR!!! Acting like sacrifices for each other, giving up on your loved ones to date some worthless piece of trash like me."
"No.. -"
"You probably think you are doing some noble sacrifice aren't you? By dating a guy like me? Huh? You care so fkin much about these 2 new friends of yours yet I've been with you for 10 fkin years Rose. 10 Fkin years."
"..."
"If you really care that much about their relationship than try and convince her to leave me. Show her for real that you don't care if they date together. You will get nothing from sacrificing yourself or hating me for the shit I never asked for."
"Wait... list-"
As I was walking away or rather running away because I pretty much broke down at this point.
She grabbed my hand
"Fuck off!"
I pushed her hand away and started walking away...
Controlling my emotions the best I can.
"Do... you perhaps... like Alice?"
She probably wanted to know this so she could use it against Me, to convince Alice to break up with me.
Is it because I am pissed?
Or is it because I want to be honest with my feelings for her?
"I've liked you Rose. Even tho I meant so less to you that you'd forget about Me like I never existed... I still fell for your kindness."
"..."
"Alice... she's been beyond just kind to Me. Even though it wasn't her intention, she made me forget you. Her kindness made me start feeling happier. I've been the happiest my whole life.
I started for forget the memories with you that tormented me everyday. Even though she drew a firm line today, even though I know that she wouldn't like the idea of me actually liking her.
IT just can't be helped that I developed feelings for her. Even though everything was an act, my feelings for her... they might aswell be the only real thing in all that."
With this... She'll probably go to her and tell her that I have feelings for her and that will end our relationship with each other.
She'll lose her trust in me and we'll never talk to each other again.
She'll probably start dating Frey and I'll probably start living my life alone again.
Now that I wait and think about it...
I probably shouldn't have told her... that I have feelings for Alice.
Bitch! Why did you have to go and tell me all that shit.
I only came back to the class to feed my dog and I'm leaving the classroom having lost everything.
...
"You really are all I have by my side now so you'd better eat your fill and stay healthy and alive."
"Looks like... I really have lost all reason to come to this school except study."
I Stated as I patted the white dog's head lovingly.
While he was chugging down the food I gave him.
...
"Ha... haha... hahaha, why... why did you have to realise your feelings for him this late?"
"Just why?"
After Ares left the classroom Rose was on her knees, crying about something that she'd finally lost completely.
...
"Damn... why are you so late? I got bored without you in the class."
Alice stated with a smile on her face.
"Haha... sorry about that, I got kind of busy."
Fuck... why did I have to let my emotions get the better of me.
If I hadn't told her about all that... our relationship would have continued and maybe just maybe...
No... that's not possible.
And maybe... this is really for the best.
Honestly... I don't think her being with me is doing her any good.
People have been confessing to her on a spree.
As if telling me that if I have a chance than anyone in class does.
I was trying to ignore that but... when they are being that blatant about it... it's hard to ignore.
Her dating me is doing more harm to her than it is doing her any good.
She can't have a peaceful day in the class due to constant confessions.
She's getting harassed and belittled for dating me.
She's being called easy.
Many women hate her because she didn't chsoe Frey and she chose me.
And most of all... she can't be with the guy she actually loves.
Is there really any good in us dating?
Is there?
Nope... there isn't 1 good thing about us dating.
Except for me who's having the time of his life in this fake dating thing...
She's probably not having a good time.
Ha... haha... hahaha haha
The self confidence that took ages to build...
Seems to be slowly shattering.
Beyond repair.
Something that took me 16 years to build... is being crushed by just 2 women.