To my surprise, only Mom was waiting for me in the Temple Master's office.
"Yeah, Mom—did something happen?"
"No. Come in, sit down." She gestured to the second guest chair across from her.
"Then what is it?"
"This whole story won't leave me alone," she said, folding her hands and propping her chin with her thumbs, her index fingers pressed to the bridge of her nose.
"Heh. It won't leave me alone either, you know."
"Not in that sense," she grimaced. "Visions are rarely wrong… Actually—they're never wrong. It's just that when they're bad, people manage to prevent them. And Dalien… I remember him. Yes, he was unusual, withdrawn—but at the same time I can't call him a madman who'd blow up an entire system for the sake of his goal. Despite his dislike of society, and Je'daii in particular, he was a good man."
"Mom, where are you going with this?"
"Since you're directly tied to all of this, I want you to go down."
"What?" My eyebrows shot up.
"Before we leave here, I want you to try to look into the future. Your future—the one that specifically awaits you. That's much easier than seeing someone else's."
"And you?"
"And I'll go with you."
"For backup?"
"For complicity." She took her hands from her face and gave a bleak little smirk.
"Ma, maybe we shouldn't? I already went through a Force point once, and I felt so bad afterward…"
"What can you do, Shade. Je'daii don't go to them for nothing. Near them it's much easier to look into the future, and the closer you are to the source, the brighter the—"
"—hallucinations," I finished gloomily, and Mom started smiling, amusement flashing through her emotions. "Yeah-yeah, I know. When do we go?"
"Now."
"Now?!"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Because… I wanted to rest. Just a little."
"You'll have time. Depending on what we see down there, that's what we'll prepare for. I want us to have time in reserve."
"Ugh… fine. I'll go get ready."
"No need. Just take your blades. We're not planning to stay there longer than we have to, and we won't be going too deep."
"Yes, Mom."
"I'll be waiting for you at the exit."
That ended the conversation. When I got back to my room, I witnessed a fascinating sight: Vess and Hadiya were sitting on my bed opposite each other and chatting nicely, disposing of my bars! And Hadiya was eating them elegantly, skewered on her little knife, while Vess… well. Vess is Vess.
"Oh! You're back already?" Hadiya exclaimed.
"Girls… do you have any conscience?"
"And what is that?" Hadiya asked.
"No-o-o," Vess shook her head. "Crunch-crunch."
"Everything's clear with you."
"Hey—where are you going?" Vessira went wary when I clipped my blades to my belt.
"To Hell."
"Where?"
"Down, Vess. Down."
"What do you mean?!" She leaned forward.
"My mother and I are going down into the gorge. Hadiya, if you fly out before I'm back…" I walked up to the surprised Twi'lek and hugged her. "Take care of yourself. Remember: for every crafty little mutt, there's an even craftier mug."
"I'll remember," Hadiya nodded, nuzzling her face against my stomach. "You be careful too."
"As if anything would happen to me."
"Oh, it absolutely would," Vess disagreed, indicating my tattooed arm with her eyes.
"Fine, fine. You convinced me."
"Maybe—"
"No, Vess. Just me and Mom. You two definitely have nothing to do down there." I flicked the Cathar's nose.
"I don't get it. Why are you so cheerful then?"
"He's always like that when it smells like trouble," Vess answered. "It's a shared trait between him and his teacher."
"Yeah, yeah. All right, girls—take care."
After saying goodbye to the ladies, I closed the door behind me and, quietly humming under my breath one of my favorite melodies I'd found here, headed for the exit. Mom, as she'd said, was waiting for me at the main entrance—with two jetpacks.
"Still remember how to use it?" she tossed me one.
"Hopefully," I said, catching it, slinging it over my shoulders, and fastening it. Even before I'd entered Qigong Kesh, she'd given me a couple lessons—just in case I had to fly. Well… came in handy. Especially because otherwise we'd be getting out of that hole for a very, very long time—the walls are way too smooth there.
So, stepping up to the edge of the platform and the bridge leading to the trail down from here, we looked down.
"And this is still a bad idea," I insisted.
"Since when has that stopped you?"
"Fair point. On three?"
"Don't fall behind," she said, patting my shoulder and stepping into the abyss.
"Sometimes parents set very, very bad examples," I snorted, looking after her. Heeeeh… With an annoyed squint, I calmed my heart and, switching to an optimistic note, took a step.
"All right. Let's go…"
Correcting my fall, I fell in behind Mom and, after about half a kilometer, we landed on a broad, smooth ledge of clearly artificial origin. From here, by the way, you could see a kind of trail of protrusions along the wall—like steps you could jump between. Je'daii-style.
Shivering from an unpleasant chill and irritation that came from nowhere, I went first. Hopping from one ledge to the next and periodically glancing down, keeping my composure was… difficult. Especially because the lower we went, the stronger the irritation got. To shift my focus at least a little, I started humming softly.
"…Along the Force path I walk, and in it I'll find peace. No, don't spill bitter tears, for I remained beside you, and though you cannot see me, know—the Force is within you. Along the Force path I walk, through darkness and light…"
"What are you singing?" Mom asked when we came side by side.
"Heard it once in Bodhi Temple. Liked it. I hum it sometimes. Why?"
"No reason. Just… nervous?"
"Angry. For no reason. It pisses me off that I can't keep myself in hand."
"Doesn't show," she elbowed me. Seeing her smile, I couldn't help smiling too. She was right—need to keep it simple. Inhale, exhale. Kriff, I should've asked Hadiya to bring a couple joints. Then I'd definitely be calm as a boa.
"Just good self-control."
"If you say so. But if it gets too hard, tell me right away, understood?"
"Understood."
Continuing down, we came out onto something that was either a platform or a tunnel—kriff if I know. The walls widened sharply, and because of thin, curling smoke, it was hard to make anything out. By now I wasn't just grumbling—I wanted to get angry and take it out on someone. Only one thing saved me: the chain of thought and a clearly set task.
Inside, that familiar tugging sensation from the previous source started growing. Like someone was trying to tear off a piece of me, but resisting it now was far easier. And my mind stayed clear… compared to the last time.
"Move forward," I heard Mom's voice. Why was she ordering me?! How dare she? In the end, I'll soon finish my path as a wanderer and become—
Stop. Away with those thoughts. Think about the work. Need to try to catch meditation and see visions. Think about the hypergates, think about the hypergates… Come on, Shade. Not helping much. My chest burns, and that pisses me off even more.
A thought suddenly came: direct this same anger into holding the energy inside me. And it helped. I didn't get kinder, but I definitely felt better.
Following the path farther, we came out to a true miniature Force storm. Or rather, its upper edge—and somewhere down below, a local armageddon was raging.
"Oh…"
"And don't say it."
"Have you been here before?"
"Went down three times. But I never crossed a certain line."
"Wimp."
"We'll see how far you go," she shot back. And there was something off in those words… But no. It seemed logical.
Descending farther, we tried not only not to use the Force, but to hide it altogether, so we wouldn't attract a Force lightning strike to our heads. Dropping down another tier to a new path, we kept going. I couldn't see the end, but it didn't matter. I needed to concentrate.
"Mom, are we far enough?" I turned back, but… she was gone. "Aaargh… fantastic. Anything else you want to throw at me?" I glanced at the storm overhead.
Slamming a fist into the stone, shattering it into rubble, I shoved my hands into my pockets. Stop. What the—? Feeling something in my pocket that shouldn't have been there, I pulled out a small medallion. It was a one-pen coin with a hole in it and a cord threaded through.
I was about to say "what the—" but instead remembered where I'd seen it. On Hadiya. She wears it like a talisman. Her first earned pen. The first, but far from the last. Smiling faintly at the care, I wound the cord around my wrist.
Unfortunately, despite the warmth of the thought, the anger didn't pass—if anything, it dyed everything black. I wanted to say something like, "How dare she stuff this crap into me?!" but no. I won't let myself say it. Strange feeling. Emotions say one thing—mind says another. And for now it's the mind that's winning. With two scooters in the background, tugging the rope inside me in opposite directions.
"At least I cheered up," I smirked. "All right. Mom's either ahead or behind. If she somehow ended up ahead, I'll catch up. If not, I'll go back."
Having made that decision, I went on.
After a couple more spans, the ground under my feet suddenly dropped away. Swearing in three different languages, I slid along the wall and, spotting a ledge, pushed off and landed exactly on a new outcropping. Shivering, I pulled myself together again, not letting the dark side tear a piece off me.
Hm… and if you looked down there, lower, there was something unclear. It glowed white like a waterfall and, flowing down, spread like a small lake. Though here my brains were really starting to leak. I could no longer stop the stream of negative thoughts—but I was amused. I laughed at myself, at what I was thinking, and at how stupid it was. Balance in my soul held onto a sane kernel and didn't let me sink completely into the surrounding darkness.
Dropping down again, I approached the anomaly and, going down on one knee, examined the phenomenon. It glowed, but didn't disperse the darkness—more like it radiated it? Like water vapor when it boils.
A rustle behind me pulled me away from the strange anomaly. Reflex kicked in faster than thought: I drew my blade, spun, and prepared to fight. But there was nothing and nobody. Or rather, there was—but somewhere far away. Lowering the sword to the ground but not sheathing it, I went toward a new oddity. Ahead, something seemed to be burning. But before I could reach it, I tripped over something. Looking down, I saw an unfamiliar man with a deep diagonal lightsaber wound. Strange. For some reason he seemed so familiar, even though I was seeing him for the first time in my life…
He was clutching a black sphere of unknown purpose, lying right in the middle of the "corridor." A strange corridor—if I'm not mistaken, I've seen ones like it in historical photos.
Stepping around the body, I moved on, and ran into another man. But unlike the first, this one had been run through by a lightsaber. Unusual armor—not from our parts. A tattoo on his face. If I'm not mistaken, that symbol reads as "Zesh." But who is he? And what is he doing here?
I stepped around another body and went on, but what I saw made a lump rise in my throat. Vess… cut in half, she lay at the entrance to a settlement, right in front of blazing houses.
Clenching my teeth until they hurt and suppressing the urge, I stepped around her. After that it only got worse. Recognizing the outlines of a street in one of the villages where my friends and I once bought raptors, I had to use all my strength to keep control. Mangled, mutilated bodies, burning homes—the air itself was soaked in someone else's pain, the kind you feel only in a death agony.
"I don't understand—where am I? Where did I end up? Am I already dead, or not yet?" I tried to cram my head with anything at all to suppress the emotions trying to tear out. Somewhere out there lightsabers flashed, dying screams rang out, and the roars of monsters that devoured the defeated alive. Tall, armored, with eyes sticking out of their heads in different directions.
The climax came when I saw Hadiya. Her chest torn open, she lay beside an overturned vehicle, surrounded by fighters I recognized. And right above her, one of those monsters was leaning down.
"R-r-r-r…" Gripping the hilt, I felt the Force itself answering my true rage. And just as I raised my arm, I saw her amulet on her wrist.
"These are visions… Th-this is only visions."
That thought sobered me. But only the Force knows what it took not to bring my blade down. Taking a couple steps back, I shut my eyes and turned away. The rope in my chest was pulled taut to the limit—like another fraction and it would snap. But… there was no pain. Only a veil of rage over everything.
"Keep yourself in hand, Shade… you can't give in to visions. You know perfectly well how easily they can swallow you…" I kept repeating to myself, but it didn't help. Anger chained my thoughts, the pain of loss crushed my heart, and the Force demanded release and tore outward. "No… I won't give in. I won't let despair consume me."
But despite my thoughts, something inside me seemed to crack. Unable to endure it, I dropped to one knee, leaning on my sword like a cane. My hands trembled, tears ran down my cheeks, and the blade was about to start melting from the unintentional Force I was pouring into it.
"Dad…"
That voice. Jerking, I swung—but managed to stop my arm. In front of me stood a маленькая Cathar half-blood. The same one I'd seen at the light-side spring. The blade stopped mere millimeters from her head.
Her look… her emotions… like a tiny ray of light, they broke through the thickened clouds. The girl stared into my eyes and cried. Paying no attention to the weapon, she stepped toward me and hugged me. As hard as she could…
"Take care of yourself… and come back soon…"
Despite everything, she was afraid. Afraid for me, like she was saying goodbye.
"I'll be waiting…"
And there was certainty in her. In me, in my strength. The kind I myself would never be capable of. Closing my eyes, I hugged her back, and somehow it really did get easier. But at some point the sensation of touch vanished, and the noises died too. Opening my eyes, I saw that I was completely alone in the dark.
"All right… I've had enough for today."
Getting up and turning back, I started walking away. The thought that the worst was behind me warmed my soul—and only until the moment I saw Clones coming toward me. An army of clones, stretching beyond sight to the left and right. I couldn't physically fail to recognize white armor, even if I'd managed to forget. But… what were they doing here?!
It was all so unexpected that surprise managed to overpower everything else. Picking up my pace, I got out of there and, closing my eyes, tried to keep myself in hand. I could hear the hum of a lightsaber, some indistinct shouts, the boom of explosions, and someone's hoarse laughter… and the symbol of the Republic rose in my mind.
In my rush to get out of here, I completely forgot about one particular place. On my next step I slipped and, cursing everyone and everything in obscene language, fell through something.
Strangely enough, I didn't go for a swim. More than that, I passed through the barrier like it wasn't even there and, tucking in, landed neatly on the floor. Strange. Somehow it started letting me go, and it became easier to breathe. It was like a light wind had passed through my head. Getting up, I looked around. Above was that something, below was the floor and a passage. Wait… am I at the bottom?!
Shaking my head, I reprocessed what I'd seen. The Republic symbol had lodged itself firmly in my head—no doubt because of the clones. Accepting these oddities, I tried to take them as a given. It helped, at least—the roof stopped leaking as I tried to process it all.
Sheathing my blade, I moved on and, to my surprise, came out to an entrance into a temple. A real temple. Judging by the slant of the walls and their appearance, it was a copy of the one that stands in the Old City. Interesting… did that somehow transfer me to the Old City? Doesn't seem like it should've… Most likely, the glitches were still going.
Walking farther down the corridor, I froze mid-step. The echo-locator reflection in the Force wavered—I was getting the wrong feedback for what I saw in front of me. Something was off… Standing there a moment, I understood what. Beside me there was another passage, but an illusion of a wall stood where it should've been. And the way I'd been headed—there was something dangerous there. My gut whispered it. Turning aside, I trusted the Force and, to my own surprise, passed through the barrier. There was another corridor here, already well-lit by unusual wall lights, leading deeper.
Following it, I came into a vast, spacious hall. In the center stood a huge triangular arch stretching from floor to ceiling. Directly opposite it, on the far side, was a broad passage wide enough to fit even a BelAZ. Near the ceiling, just beyond the arch where it rose toward the ceiling, a sphere of light burned with blue fire, illuminating the entire enormous chamber. It felt like I was an ant that had wandered into a human house. Going farther, I ran into some kind of control console, maybe? In the center stood a black, meter-wide sphere polished to a shine. Around it in a ring stood panels with many green crystals and golden levers. Next to two green-lit recesses shaped like a right three-fingered clawed hand, a little above them in the wall, there was something vaguely resembling a stone TV screen with a half-closed eye.
"No… if I were dead, I'd be seeing anything at all, but not this," I smirked without humor, scanning the hall again.
Holding my palm up to the three-finger button, as if it was for a small dinosaur, I compared sizes. Well… slightly bigger than mine.
Not tempting fate any further—much less trying to interact with unknown machinery—I left the ancient ruins alone and went back. I've had enough adventure. Time to go home.
Turning on the jetpack, I started climbing. Contrary to my fears, I flew up normally and, what's more, the pressure of the dark side was still there, but it felt… weaker, maybe? Or had I burned out? I wasn't surprised by anything anymore; the main thing was to get out of here.
Only when I broke the surface—night already having fallen—did I exhale in relief and realize I'd left Mom down there. Kriff… all right. She's been there before. Hopefully she'll realize I'm not a complete idiot and, if anything goes wrong, I'll make a run for the exit. Note for the future: before going into the back of beyond, always, always set a rendezvous point in case you get separated.
"Oh…" Taking off the jetpack and dropping it to the ground, I sat down on it.
Only now did I realize how fast my heart was pounding, how my hands were shaking… Like a stone had fallen from my soul, and emptiness formed in its place. And it became so light right away.
"Heh… ha-ha-ha-ha-ha," I covered my face with my palms and laughed softly. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have visited one of Tython's attractions. Next visit tomorrow, at zero seven hundred," I kept mumbling under my breath. "Attention! The agency bears no responsibility if you die there, lose your mind, or simply go crazy. Also, our firm does not issue refunds. Heh-heh-heh… that's it, Shade, congratulations, you've got a screw loose… ooh…"
Wincing, I rubbed my temples. My head had started aching, and reflexively using Force sight only made it worse.
"All right… where did I see aspirin?"
After sitting and giggling a bit, I came to. When it let me go more or less and I could pull myself together, I picked up the jetpack and trudged back to the temple entrance. Strange—why is the guard looking at me like that? They're scurrying around for something…
"Shade!" I heard Mom's voice—and a second later she appeared around the corner herself.
"Ma…" I began, but she crossed the distance between us like a whirlwind and locked me in a hug. "…ma."
"Shade, how are you? Are you okay? Tell me—do you remember what your name is?"
"Uh… yeah. I remember. My name is Shade, you're Aala Aero, my mother. I can even name the years."
"Shade," she hugged me again… Still not recovered from the gorge, it was hard to return to normal, but even so her unprecedented relief reached me.
"Mom, tell me what's going on?"
"You… you don't remember?"
"Remember what?"
"How we went down into the gorge."
"Of course I do! We went down, I was singing songs. Then the Gorge's energy started pressing on us. And then you disappeared somewhere…"
"Come on. We need to check you," she said, almost dragging me by the arm.
After hauling me to the Temple Master's office, we waited for several more masters, and they started checking me. Starting with basic questions and a Force check. I had to repeat the very test I'd done at Akar Kesh Temple. And only when I showed the "black sun" did everyone relax. Especially Mom.
"Will someone finally explain what in Draghuur's name is going on?!" my patience snapped.
"Shade, tell me. What do you remember? After you went down."
"I remember everything!"
"Did you descend all the way to the very bottom?" Temple Master Quan-Yang cut in, animated and with a hint of impatience.
"I don't know where I descended, I didn't understand it myself. At first we were walking normally, but the lower we went, the more the Force pressure affected us. Then at some point I lost sight of Aala and decided to look for her. Didn't find her, went a bit lower—still not there—so I flew back," I shortened my story to the bare minimum, leaving out everything else.
"I…" Aala began, and swallowed the lump in her throat. "Shade, we went below the permissible limit. I myself hadn't gone that deep before, but when I saw you walking freely, I thought something, I thought…" She shook her head. "In any case, at some point I lost consciousness. And when I came to, I assumed you'd come back up here. But you weren't. I was about to go after you to the very bottom, but you returned on your own."
"Yeah. Nice little walk…"
"Shade, did you see anything down there? Visions, or anything unusual?"
"What exactly do you want?" I snorted.
"Tell me what you saw."
"Unclear visions. Death. War… And I saw some kind of waterfall. What is that?"
It was strange how everyone recoiled from me.
"That's… the Wall of Chaos, Shade. It drives mad anyone who comes close, and nobody has ever managed to pass beyond it. The fact that you saw it and came back… the Force itself led you—there's no other answer I have," Quan-Yang looked at my mother.
"The main thing is you came back."
"At least you didn't make a commotion?"
"No."
"Praise the Force," I exhaled, and knocked a second newly formed stone off my heart. I'm afraid Vess would've strangled me for this. And Hadiya would've buried me.
"Come on, Shade, I'll walk you back to your room," Mom said.
"Mm-hm. By the way, Ma—did Hadiya already leave?"
"Yes. This morning."
"WHAT do you mean, this morning?!" I nearly jumped.
"You were gone for almost a full day. You, a bit longer," Quan-Yang explained.
"Yeah."
That's it. No more Force sources for me. Ever.
Leaving the office with Mom and trudging along the half-empty corridor, she spoke quietly to me:
"Did you see anything else?"
"I did. Death, Mom. Everyone. Creatures with eyes sticking out of their heads were eating the dead," she put an arm around me. "I didn't really understand what I saw. And… I'd rather not see it again."
"Shade—are you sure you're okay?"
"Let's say I had an anchor," I smirked, glancing at the amulet on my wrist. "And not just one," I added silently, remembering the girl.
"And anything about our… situation? Was there anything?"
"No, Mom. And if there was, I didn't understand it."
"Pity."
"Fine. At least now I can definitely call myself a Je'daii. Been on both sides, and nothing. Almost still myself."
"Don't joke like that, Shade," she jerked her head. "It's not funny. Especially for you."
"I can't not joke—there's, heh-heh-heh, a backlash coming over me."
"Yeah. All right. We're here. Rest, son."
"Mm-hm."
"And Shade."
"Hm?"
"I'm proud of you."
Smirking, I went into my room and, closing the door, leaned my back against it.
"All right. Whew. Calm—just calm. Inhale, exhale. We live."
Sending out a Force pulse without turning on the lights, I opened the bathroom door. Uniform into the wash—thankfully they know what washing machines are here, even if they're… eccentric. The main thing is, they wash. And a warm, relaxing shower is just perfect.
Unable to resist, I cracked a couple jokes to myself about Sith and Jedi and what I did with their dogmas. Lunatics, both of them. I can't even imagine how you can live constantly in rage and pain. Jedi aren't any better—their ideal is a biorobot. Actually, clones are perfect for that—hee-hee—exactly who future Jedi should model themselves on. I wonder, if I draw "Jedi are losers, Sith are goats" somewhere here, what will future generations think?
Kriff—no, I'm definitely not okay if I'm seriously thinking about that kind of crap. Crawling out of the shower, I made it to the bed. Weird—why is my bed giving off emotions? Did the furniture come alive? Feeling under the blanket, I realized someone was just lying there.
"Masha-masha, this isn't your bed—go sleep in yours," I laughed, dropping down beside them, and immediately covered my own face with my hand. What a nightmare… where's a psychiatrist around here?
"Mmm, Shade…" someone moaned sleepily into my ear and, tossing a blanket over me, threw a leg and arms over me too, settling their head comfortably on my shoulder. Vess began purring.
"Cats are anti-stress, and purring is полезно," I thought as I sank into sleep. I've had enough for today.
***
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